dona perecta-第54部分

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One　thing　only　will　I　say　to　you；〃　he　ended；　looking　at　the　bravo　over　his　spectacles；　〃and　that　is；　that　as　my　niece　is　going　there；　and　as　it　is　probable；　very　probable；　is　it　not；　Remedios？　that　she　may　have　to　say　a　few　plain　words　to　that　man；　I　recommend　you　not　to　leave　her　unprotected；　in　case　she　should　be　insulted。〃

〃I　have　something　to　do　to…night；〃　answered　Caballuco；　laconically　and　dryly。

〃You　hear　what　he　says；　Remedios。　Leave　your　business　for　to…morrow。〃

〃I　can't　do　that。　I　will　go　alone。〃

〃No；　you　shall　not　go　alone；　niece。　Now　let　us　hear　no　more　about　the　matter。　Senor　Ramos　has　something　to　do；　and　he　cannot　accompany　you。　Fancy　if　you　were　to　be　insulted　by　that　rude　man！〃

〃Insulted！　A　lady　insulted　by　that　fellow！〃　exclaimed　Caballuco。　〃Come　that　must　not　be。〃

〃If　you　had　not　something　to　dobah！　I　should　be　quite　easy　in　my　mind；　then。〃

〃I　have　something　to　do；〃　said　the　Centaur；　rising　from　the　table；　〃but　if　you　wish　it〃

There　was　a　pause。　The　Penitentiary　had　closed　his　eyes　and　was　meditating。

〃I　wish　it；　Senor　Ramos；〃　he　said　at　last。

〃There　is　no　more　to　be　said　then。　Let　us　go；　Senora　Dona　Maria。〃

〃Now；　my　dear　niece；〃　said　Don　Inocencio；　half　seriously；　half　jestingly；　〃since　we　have　finished　supper　bring　me　the　basin。〃

He　gave　his　niece　a　penetrating　glance；　and　accompanying　it　with　the　corresponding　action；　pronounced　these　words：

〃I　wash　my　hands　of　the　matter。〃



CHAPTER　XXVIII

FROM　PEPE　REY　TO　DON　JUAN　REY


〃ORBAJOSA；　April　12。

〃MY　DEAR　FATHER：

〃Forgive　me　if　for　the　first　time　in　my　life　I　disobey　you　in　refusing　to　leave　this　place　or　to　renounce　my　project。　Your　advice　and　your　entreaty　are　what　were　to　be　expected　from　a　kind；　good　father。　My　obstinacy　is　natural　in　an　insensate　son；　but　something　strange　is　taking　place　within　me；　obstinacy　and　honor　have　become　so　blended　and　confounded　in　my　mind　that　the　bare　idea　of　desisting　from　my　purpose　makes　me　ashamed。　I　have　changed　greatly。　The　fits　of　rage　that　agitate　me　now　were　formerly　unknown　to　me。　I　regarded　the　violent　acts；　the　exaggerated　expressions　of　hot…tempered　and　impetuous　men　with　the　same　scorn　as　the　brutal　actions　of　the　wicked。　Nothing　of　this　kind　surprises　me　any　longer；　for　in　myself　I　find　at　all　times　a　certain　terrible　capacity　for　wickedness。　I　can　speak　to　you　as　I　would　speak　to　God　and　to　my　conscience；　I　can　tell　you　that　I　am　a　wretch；　for　he　is　a　wretch　who　is　wanting　in　that　powerful　moral　force　which　enables　him　to　chastise　his　passions　and　submit　his　life　to　the　stern　rule　of　conscience。　I　have　been　wanting　in　the　Christian　fortitude　which　exalts　the　spirit　of　the　man　who　is　offended　above　the　offences　which　he　receives　and　the　enemies　from　whom　he　receives　them。　I　have　had　the　weakness　to　abandon　myself　to　a　mad　fury；　putting　myself　on　a　level　with　my　detractors；　returning　them　blow　for　blow；　and　endeavoring　to　confound　them　by　methods　learned　in　their　own　base　school。　How　deeply　I　regret　that　you　were　not　at　my　side　to　turn　me　from　this　path！　It　is　now　too　late。　The　passions　will　not　brook　delay。　They　are　impatient；　and　demand　their　prey　with　cries　and　with　the　convulsive　eagerness　of　a　fierce　moral　thirst。　I　have　succumbed。　I　cannot　forget　what　you　so　often　said　to　me；　that　anger　may　be　called　the　worst　of　the　passions；　since；　suddenly　transforming　the　character；　it　engenders　all　the　others；　and　lends　to　each　its　own　infernal　fire。

〃But　it　is　not　anger　alone　that　has　brought　me　to　the　state　of　mind　which　I　have　described。　A　more　expansive　and　noble　sentimentthe　profound　and　ardent　love　which　I　have　for　my　cousin；　has　also　contributed　to　it；　and　this　is　the　one　thing　that　absolves　me　in　my　own　estimation。　But　if　love　had　not　done　so；　pity　would　have　impelled　me　to　brave　the　fury　and　the　intrigues　of　your　terrible　sister；　for　poor　Rosario；　placed　between　an　irresistible　affection　and　her　mother；　is　at　the　present　moment　one　of　the　most　unhappy　beings　on　the　face　of　the　earth。　The　love　which　she　has　for　me；　and　which　responds　to　minedoes　it　not　give　me　the　right　to　open；　in　whatever　way　I　can；　the　doors　of　her　house　and　take　her　out　of　it；　employing　the　law；　as　far　as　the　law　reaches；　and　using　force　at　the　point　where　the　law　ceases　to　support　me？　I　think　that　your　rigid　moral　scrupulosity　will　not　give　an　affirmative　answer　to　this　question；　but　I　have　ceased　to　be　the　upright　and　methodical　character　whose　conscience　was　in　exact　conformity　with　the　dictates　of　the　moral　law。　I　am　no　longer　the　man　whom　an　almost　perfect　education　enabled　to　keep　his　emotions　under　strict　control。　To…day　I　am　a　man　like　other　men；　at　a　single　step　I　have　crossed　the　line　which　separates　the　just　and　the　good　from　the　unjust　and　the　wicked。　Prepare　yourself　to　hear　of　some　dreadful　act　committed　by　me。　I　will　take　care　to　notify　you　of　all　my　misdeeds。

〃But　the　confession　of　my　faults　will　not　relieve　me　from　the　responsibility　of　the　serious　occurrences　which　have　taken　place　and　which　are　taking　place；　nor　will　this　responsibility；　no　matter　how　much　I　may　argue；　fall　altogether　on　your　sister。　Dona　Perfecta's　responsibility　is　certainly　very　great。　What　will　be　the　extent　of　mine！　Ah；　dear　father！　believe　nothing　of　what　you　hear　about　me；　believe　only　what　I　shall　tell　you。　If　they　tell　you　that　I　have　committed　a　deliberate　piece　of　villany；　answer　that　it　is　a　lie。　It　is　difficult；　very　difficult；　for　me　to　judge　myself；　in　the　state　of　disquietude　in　which　I　am；　but　I　dare　assure　you　that　I　have　not　deliberately　given　cause　for　scandal。　You　know　well　to　what　extremes　passion　can　lead　when　circumstances　favor　its　fierce；　its　all…invading　growth。

〃What　is　most　bitter　to　me　is　the　thought　of　having　employed　artifice；　deceit；　and　base　concealmentsI　who　was　truth　itself。　I　am　humiliated　in　my　own　estimation。　But　is　this　the　greatest　perversity　into　which　the　soul　can　fall？　Am　I　beginning　now；　or　have　I　ended？　I　cannot　tell。　If　Rosario　with　her　angelic　hand　does　not　take　me　out　of　this　hell　of　my　conscience；　I　desire　that　you　should　come　to　take　me　out　of　it。　My　cousin　is　an　angel；　and　suffering；　as　she　has　done；　for　my　sake；　she　has　taught　me　a　great　many　things　that　I　did　not　know　before。

〃Do　not　be　surprised　at　the　incoherence　of　what　I　write。　Diverse　emotions　inflame　me；　thoughts　at　times　assail　me　truly　worthy　of　my　immortal　soul；　but　at　times　also　I　fall　into　a　lamentable　state　of　dejection；　and　I　am　reminded　of　the　weak　and　degenerate　characters　whose　baseness　you　have　painted　to　me　in　such　strong　colors；　in　order　that　I　might　abhor　them。　In　the　state　in　which　I　am　to…day　I　am　ready　for　good　or　for　evil。　God　have　pity　upon　me！　I　already　know　what　prayer　isa　solemn　and　reflexive　supplication；　so　personal　that　it　is　not　compatible　with　formulas　learned　by　heart；　an　expansion　of　the　soul　which　dares　to　reach　out　toward　its　source；　the　opposite　of　remorse；　in　which　the　soul；　at　war　with　itself；　seeks　in　vain　to　defend　itself　by　sophisms　and　concealments。　You　have　taught　me　many　good　things；　but　now　I　am　practising；　as　we　engineers　say；　I　am　studying　on　the　ground；　and　in　this　way　my　knowledge　will　become　broadened　and　confirmed。　I　begin　to　imagine　n