dona perecta-第46部分

快捷操作: 按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页 按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页 按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部! 如果本书没有阅读完，想下次继续接着阅读，可使用上方 "收藏到我的浏览器" 功能 和 "加入书签" 功能！


　pray　eternally　without　being　heard？　I　am　good；　nothing　will　convince　me　that　I　am　not　good。　To　love；　to　love　boundlessly；　is　that　wickedness？　But　noit　is　no　illusion；　no　errorI　am　worse　than　the　worst　woman　on　earth。　A　great　serpent　is　within　me；　and　has　fastened　his　poisonous　fangs　in　my　heart。　What　is　this　that　I　feel？　My　God；　why　dost　thou　not　kill　me？　Why　dost　thou　not　plunge　me　forever　into　the　depths　of　hell？　It　is　frightful；　but　I　confess　it　to　the　priestI　hate　my　mother。　Why　is　this？　I　cannot　explain　it　to　myself。　He　has　not　said　a　word　to　me　against　my　mother。　I　do　not　know　how　this　is　come　to　pass。　How　wicked　I　am！　The　demons　have　taken　possession　of　me。　Lord；　come　to　my　help；　for　with　my　own　strength　alone　I　cannot　vanquish　myself。　A　terrible　impulse　urges　me　to　leave　this　house。　I　wish　to　escape；　to　fly　from　it。　If　he　does　not　take　me；　I　will　drag　myself　after　him　through　the　streets。　What　divine　joy　is　this　that　mingles　in　my　breast　with　so　cruel　a　grief？　Lord　God；　my　father；　illumine　me。　I　desire　only　to　love。　I　was　not　born　for　this　hatred　that　is　consuming　me。　I　was　not　born　to　deceive；　to　lie；　to　cheat。　To…morrow　I　will　go　out　into　the　streets　and　cry　aloud　to　all　the　passers…by：　'I　love！　I　hate！'　My　heart　will　relieve　itself　in　this　way。　What　happiness　it　would　be　to　be　able　to　reconcile　every　thing；　to　love　and　respect　every　one！　May　the　Most　Holy　Virgin　protect　me。　Again　that　terrible　idea！　I　don't　wish　to　think　it；　and　I　think　it。　Ah！　I　cannot　deceive　myself　in　regard　to　this。　I　can　neither　destroy　it　nor　diminish　itbut　I　can　confess　it；　and　I　confess　it；　saying　to　thee：　'Lord；　I　hate　my　mother！'　〃

At　last　she　fell　into　a　doze。　In　her　uneasy　sleep　her　imagination　reproduced　in　her　mind　all　she　had　done　that　night；　distorting　it；　without　altering　it　in　substance。　She　heard　again　the　clock　of　the　cathedral　striking　nine；　she　saw　with　joy　the　old　servant　fall　into　a　peaceful　sleep；　and　she　left　the　room　very　slowly；　in　order　to　make　no　noise；　she　descended　the　stairs　softly；　step　by　step　and　on　tiptoe；　in　order　to　avoid　making　the　slightest　sound。　She　went　into　the　garden；　going　around　through　the　servants'　quarters　and　the　kitchen；　in　the　garden　she　paused　for　a　moment　to　look　up　at　the　sky；　which　was　dark　and　studded　with　stars。　The　wind　was　hushed。　Not　a　breath　disturbed　the　profound　stillness　of　the　night。　It　seemed　to　maintain　a　fixed　and　silent　attentionthe　attention　of　eyes　that　look　without　winking　and　ears　that　listen　attentively；　awaiting　a　great　event。　The　night　was　watching。

She　then　approached　the　glass　door　of　the　dining…room　and　looked　cautiously　through　it；　from　a　little　distance；　fearing　that　those　within　might　perceive　her。　By　the　light　of　the　dining…room　lamp　she　saw　her　mother　sitting　with　her　back　toward　her。　The　Penitentiary　was　on　her　right；　and　his　profile　seemed　to　undergo　a　strange　transformation；　his　nose　grew　larger　and　larger；　seeming　like　the　beak　of　some　fabulous　bird；　and　his　whole　face　became　a　black　silhouette　with　angles　here　and　there；　sharp　derisive；　irritating。　In　front　of　him　sat　Caballuco；　who　resembled　a　dragon　rather　than　a　man。　Rosario　could　see　his　green　eyes；　like　two　lanterns　of　convex　glass。　This　glow；　and　the　imposing　figure　of　the　animal；　inspired　her　with　fear。　Uncle　Licurgo　and　the　other　three　men　appeared　to　her　imagination　like　grotesque　little　figures。　She　had　seen　somewhere；　doubtless　in　some　of　the　clay　figures　at　the　fairs；　that　foolish　smile；　those　coarse　faces；　that　stupid　look。　The　dragon　moved　his　arms　which；　instead　of　gesticulating；　turned　round；　like　the　arms　of　a　windmill；　and　the　green　globes；　like　the　lights　of　a　pharmacy；　moved　from　side　to　side。　His　glance　was　blinding。　The　conversation　appeared　to　be　interesting。　The　Penitentiary　was　flapping　his　wings。　He　was　a　presumptuous　bird；　who　tried　to　fly　and　could　not。　His　beak　lengthened　itself；　twisting　round　and　round。　His　feathers　stood　out；　as　if　with　rage；　and　then；　collecting　himself　and　becoming　pacified；　he　hid　his　bald　head　under　his　wings。　Then　the　little　clay　figures　began　to　move；　wishing　to　be　persons；　and　Frasquito　Gonzalez　was　trying　to　pass　for　a　man。

Rosario　felt　an　inexplicable　terror；　witnessing　this　friendly　conference。　She　went　away　from　the　door　and　advanced；　step　by　step；　looking　around　her　to　see　if　she　was　observed。　Although　she　saw　no　one；　she　fancied　that　a　million　eyes　were　fastened　upon　her。　But　suddenly　her　fears　and　her　shame　were　dispelled。　At　the　window　of　the　room　occupied　by　Senor　Pinzon　appeared　a　man；　dressed　in　blue；　the　buttons　on　his　coat　shone　like　rows　of　little　lights。　She　approached。　At　the　same　instant　she　felt　a　pair　of　arms　with　galloons　lift　her　up　as　if　she　were　a　feather　and　with　a　swift　movement　place　her　in　the　room。　All　was　changed。　Suddenly　a　crash　was　heard；　a　violent　blow　that　shook　the　house　to　its　foundations。　Neither　knew　the　cause　of　the　noise。　They　trembled　and　were　silent。

It　was　the　moment　in　which　the　dragon　had　broken　the　table　in　the　dining…room。



CHAPTER　XXV

UNFORESEEN　EVENTSA　PASSING　DISAGREEMENT

The　scene　changes。　We　see　before　us　a　handsome　room；　bright；　modest；　gay；　comfortable；　and　surprisingly　clean。　A　fine　matting　covers　the　floor；　and　the　white　walls　are　covered　with　good　prints　of　saints　and　some　sculptures　of　doubtful　artistic　value。　The　old　mahogany　of　the　furniture　shines　with　the　polish　of　many　Saturday　rubbings；　and　the　altar；　on　which　a　magnificent　Virgin；　dressed　in　blue　and　silver；　receives　domestic　worship；　is　covered　with　innumerable　pretty　trifles；　half　sacred；　half　profane。　There　are　on　it；　besides；　little　pictures　in　beads；　holy…water　fonts；　a　watch…case　with　an　Agnes　Dei；　a　Palm　Sunday　palm…branch；　and　not　a　few　odorless　artificial　flowers。　A　number　of　oaken　bookshelves　contain　a　rich　and　choice　library；　in　which　Horace；　the　Epicurean　and　Sybarite；　stands　side　by　side　with　the　tender　Virgil；　in　whose　verses　we　see　the　heart　of　the　enamored　Dido　throbbing　and　melting；　Ovid　the　large…nosed；　as　sublime　as　he　is　obscene　and　sycophantic；　side　by　side　with　Martial；　the　eloquent　and　witty　vagabond；　Tibullus　the　impassioned；　with　Cicero　the　grand；　the　severe　Titus　Livius　with　the　terrible　Tacitus；　the　scourge　of　the　Caesars；　Lucretius　the　pantheist；　Juvenal；　who　flayed　with　his　pen；　Plautus；　who　composed　the　best　comedies　of　antiquity　while　turning　a　mill…wheel；　Seneca　the　philosopher；　of　whom　it　is　said　that　the　noblest　act　of　his　life　was　his　death；　Quintilian　the　rhetorician；　the　immoral　Sallust；　who　speaks　so　eloquently　of　virtue；　the　two　Plinys；　Suetonius　and　Varroin　a　word；　all　the　Latin　letters　from　the　time　when　they　stammered　their　first　word　with　Livius　Andronicus　until　they　exhaled　their　last　sigh　with　Rutilius。

But　while　making　this　unnecessary　though　rapid　enumeration；　we　have　not　observed　that　two　women　have　entered　the　room。　It　is　very　early；　but　the　Orbajosans　are　early　risers。　The　birds　are　singing　to　burst　their　throats　in　their　cages；　the　church…bells　are　ringing　for　mass；　and　the　goats；　going　from　house　to　house　to　be　milked；　are　tinkling　their　bells　gayly。

The　two　ladies　whom　we　see　in　the　room　that　we　have　described　have　just　come　back　from　hearing　mass。　They　are　dres