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the uncommercial traveller-第104部分
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boastful of the sentiments we united in professing; or of
professing them with a most discordant defiance of time and tune。
'Lord bless us!' thought I; when the fresh remembrance of these
things made me laugh heartily alone in the dead water…gurgling
waste of the night; what time I was wedged into my berth by a
wooden bar; or I must have rolled out of it; 'what errand was I
then upon; and to what Abyssinian point had public events then
marched? No matter as to me。 And as to them; if the wonderful
popular rage for a plaything (utterly confounding in its
inscrutable unreason) I had not then lighted on a poor young savage
boy; and a poor old screw of a horse; and hauled the first off by
the hair of his princely head to 〃inspect〃 the British volunteers;
and hauled the second off by the hair of his equine tail to the
Crystal Palace; why so much the better for all of us outside
Bedlam!'
So; sticking to the ship; I was at the trouble of asking myself
would I like to show the grog distribution in 'the fiddle' at noon
to the Grand United Amalgamated Total Abstinence Society? Yes; I
think I should。 I think it would do them good to smell the rum;
under the circumstances。 Over the grog; mixed in a bucket;
presides the boatswain's mate; small tin can in hand。 Enter the
crew; the guilty consumers; the grown…up brood of Giant Despair; in
contradistinction to the band of youthful angel Hope。 Some in
boots; some in leggings; some in tarpaulin overalls; some in
frocks; some in pea…coats; a very few in jackets; most with
sou'wester hats; all with something rough and rugged round the
throat; all; dripping salt water where they stand; all pelted by
weather; besmeared with grease; and blackened by the sooty rigging。
Each man's knife in its sheath in his girdle; loosened for dinner。
As the first man; with a knowingly kindled eye; watches the filling
of the poisoned chalice (truly but a very small tin mug; to be
prosaic); and; tossing back his head; tosses the contents into
himself; and passes the empty chalice and passes on; so the second
man with an anticipatory wipe of his mouth on sleeve or
handkerchief; bides his turn; and drinks and hands and passes on;
in whom; and in each as his turn approaches; beams a knowingly
kindled eye; a brighter temper; and a suddenly awakened tendency to
be jocose with some shipmate。 Nor do I even observe that the man
in charge of the ship's lamps; who in right of his office has a
double allowance of poisoned chalices; seems thereby vastly
degraded; even though he empties the chalices into himself; one
after the other; much as if he were delivering their contents at
some absorbent establishment in which he had no personal interest。
But vastly comforted; I note them all to be; on deck presently;
even to the circulation of redder blood in their cold blue
knuckles; and when I look up at them lying out on the yards; and
holding on for life among the beating sails; I cannot for MY life
see the justice of visiting on them … or on me … the drunken crimes
of any number of criminals arraigned at the heaviest of assizes。
Abetting myself in my idle humour; I closed my eyes; and recalled
life on board of one of those mail…packets; as I lay; part of that
day; in the Bay of New York; O! The regular life began … mine
always did; for I never got to sleep afterwards … with the rigging
of the pump while it was yet dark; and washing down of decks。 Any
enormous giant at a prodigious hydropathic establishment;
conscientiously undergoing the water…cure in all its departments;
and extremely particular about cleaning his teeth; would make those
noises。 Swash; splash; scrub; rub; toothbrush; bubble; swash;
splash; bubble; toothbrush; splash; splash; bubble; rub。 Then the
day would break; and; descending from my berth by a graceful ladder
composed of half…opened drawers beneath it; I would reopen my outer
dead…light and my inner sliding window (closed by a watchman during
the water…cure); and would look out at the long…rolling; lead…
coloured; white topped waves over which the dawn; on a cold winter
morning; cast a level; lonely glance; and through which the ship
fought her melancholy way at a terrific rate。 And now; lying down
again; awaiting the season for broiled ham and tea; I would be
compelled to listen to the voice of conscience; … the screw。
It might be; in some cases; no more than the voice of stomach; but
I called it in my fancy by the higher name。 Because it seemed to
me that we were all of us; all day long; endeavouring to stifle the
voice。 Because it was under everybody's pillow; everybody's plate;
everybody's camp…stool; everybody's book; everybody's occupation。
Because we pretended not to hear it; especially at meal…times;
evening whist; and morning conversation on deck; but it was always
among us in an under monotone; not to be drowned in pea…soup; not
to be shuffled with cards; not to be diverted by books; not to be
knitted into any pattern; not to be walked away from。 It was
smoked in the weediest cigar; and drunk in the strongest cocktail;
it was conveyed on deck at noon with limp ladies; who lay there in
their wrappers until the stars shone; it waited at table with the
stewards; nobody could put it out with the lights。 It was
considered (as on shore) ill…bred to acknowledge the voice of
conscience。 It was not polite to mention it。 One squally day an
amiable gentleman in love gave much offence to a surrounding
circle; including the object of his attachment; by saying of it;
after it had goaded him over two easy…chairs and a skylight;
'Screw!'
Sometimes it would appear subdued。 In fleeting moments; when
bubbles of champagne pervaded the nose; or when there was 'hot pot'
in the bill of fare; or when an old dish we had had regularly every
day was described in that official document by a new name; … under
such excitements; one would almost believe it hushed。 The ceremony
of washing plates on deck; performed after every meal by a circle
as of ringers of crockery triple…bob majors for a prize; would keep
it down。 Hauling the reel; taking the sun at noon; posting the
twenty…four hours' run; altering the ship's time by the meridian;
casting the waste food overboard; and attracting the eager gulls
that followed in our wake; … these events would suppress it for a
while。 But the instant any break or pause took place in any such
diversion; the voice would be at it again; importuning us to the
last extent。 A newly married young pair; who walked the deck
affectionately some twenty miles per day; would; in the full flush
of their exercise; suddenly become stricken by it; and stand
trembling; but otherwise immovable; under its reproaches。
When this terrible monitor was most severe with us was when the
time approached for our retiring to our dens for the night; when
the lighted candles in the saloon grew fewer and fewer; when the
deserted glasses with spoons in them grew mo
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