a dream of armageddom-第5部分

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faith　in　his　stupid　idiot　'luck'　to　pull　him　through。　　I　remember

how　we　stood　upon　the　headland　watching　the　squadron　circling　far

away；　and　how　I　weighed　the　full　meaning　of　the　sight；　seeing

clearly　the　way　things　must　go。　　And　then　even　it　was　not　too　late。



I　might　have　gone　back；　I　think；　and　saved　the　world。　　The　people

of　the　north　would　follow　me；　I　knew；　granted　only　that　in　one

thing　I　respected　their　moral　standards。　　The　east　and　south　would

trust　me　as　they　would　trust　no　other　northern　man。　　And　I　knew

I　had　only　to　put　it　to　her　and　she　would　have　let　me　go　。　。　。　。

Not　because　she　did　not　love　me！



〃Only　I　did　not　want　to　go；　my　will　was　all　the　other　way

about。　　I　had　so　newly　thrown　off　the　incubus　of　responsibility：　I

was　still　so　fresh　a　renegade　from　duty　that　the　daylight　clearness

of　what　I　ought　to　do　had　no　power　at　all　to　touch　my　will。　　My

will　was　to　live；　to　gather　pleasures　and　make　my　dear　lady　happy。　

But　though　this　sense　of　vast　neglected　duties　had　no　power　to　draw

me；　it　could　make　me　silent　and　preoccupied；　it　robbed　the　days　I

had　spent　of　half　their　brightness　and　roused　me　into　dark

meditations　in　the　silence　of　the　night。　　And　as　I　stood　and

watched　Evesham's　aeroplanes　sweep　to　and　frothose　birds　of

infinite　ill　omenshe　stood　beside　me　watching　me；　perceiving　the

trouble　indeed；　but　not　perceiving　it　clearlyher　eyes　questioning

my　face；　her　expression　shaded　with　perplexity。　　Her　face　was　gray

because　the　sunset　was　fading　out　of　the　sky。　　It　was　no　fault　of

hers　that　she　held　me。　　She　had　asked　me　to　go　from　her；　and　again

in　the　night　time　and　with　tears　she　had　asked　me　to　go。



〃At　last　it　was　the　sense　of　her　that　roused　me　from　my　mood。　

I　turned　upon　her　suddenly　and　challenged　her　to　race　down　the

mountain　slopes。　　'No；'　she　said；　as　if　I　had　jarred　with　her

gravity；　but　I　was　resolved　to　end　that　gravity；　and　make　her

runno　one　can　be　very　gray　and　sad　who　is　out　of　breathand　when

she　stumbled　I　ran　with　my　hand　beneath　her　arm。　　We　ran　down　past

a　couple　of　men；　who　turned　back　staring　in　astonishment　at　my

behaviourthey　must　have　recognised　my　face。　　And　half　way　down

the　slope　came　a　tumult　in　the　air；　clang…clank；　clang…clank；　and

we　stopped；　and　presently　over　the　hill…crest　those　war　things　came

flying　one　behind　the　other。〃



The　man　seemed　hesitating　on　the　verge　of　a　description。　　



〃What　were　they　like？〃　I　asked。



〃They　had　never　fought；〃　he　said。　　〃They　were　just　like　our

ironclads　are　nowadays；　they　had　never　fought。　　No　one　knew　what

they　might　do；　with　excited　men　inside　them；　few　even　cared　to

speculate。　　They　were　great　driving　things　shaped　like　spear…heads

without　a　shaft；　with　a　propeller　in　the　place　of　the　shaft。〃



〃Steel？〃



〃Not　steel。〃



〃Aluminum？〃



〃No；　no；　nothing　of　that　sort。　　An　alloy　that　was　very

commonas　common　as　brass；　for　example。　　It　was　calledlet　me

see〃　　He　squeezed　his　forehead　with　the　fingers　of　one　hand。　　〃I

am　forgetting　everything；〃　he　said。



〃And　they　carried　guns？〃



〃Little　guns；　firing　high　explosive　shells。　　They　fired　the

guns　backwards；　out　of　the　base　of　the　leaf；　so　to　speak；　and

rammed　with　the　beak。　　That　was　the　theory；　you　know；　but　they　had

never　been　fought。　　No　one　could　tell　exactly　what　was　going　to

happen。　　And　meanwhile　I　suppose　it　was　very　fine　to　go　whirling

through　the　air　like　a　flight　of　young　swallows；　swift　and　easy。　

I　guess　the　captains　tried　not　to　think　too　clearly　what　the　real

thing　would　be　like。　　And　these　flying　war　machines；　you　know；　were

only　one　sort　of　the　endless　war　contrivances　that　had　been

invented　and　had　fallen　into　abeyance　during　the　long　peace。　　There

were　all　sorts　of　these　things　that　people　were　routing　out　and

furbishing　up；　infernal　things；　silly　things；　things　that　had　never

been　tried；　big　engines；　terrible　explosives；　great　guns。　　You　know

the　silly　way　of　these　ingenious　sort　of　men　who　make　these　things；

they　turn　'em　out　as　beavers　build　dams；　and　with　no　more　sense　of

the　rivers　they're　going　to　divert　and　the　lands　they're　going　to

flood！



〃As　we　went　down　the　winding　stepway　to　our　hotel　again；　in

the　twilight；　I　foresaw　it　all：　I　saw　how　clearly　and　inevitably

things　were　driving　for　war　in　Evesham's　silly；　violent　hands；　and

I　had　some　inkling　of　what　war　was　bound　to　be　under　these　new

conditions。　　And　even　then；　though　I　knew　it　was　drawing　near　the

limit　of　my　opportunity；　I　could　find　no　will　to　go　back。〃



He　sighed。



〃That　was　my　last　chance。



〃We　didn't　go　into　the　city　until　the　sky　was　full　of　stars；

so　we　walked　out　upon　the　high　terrace；　to　and　fro；　andshe

counselled　me　to　go　back。



〃'My　dearest；'　she　said；　and　her　sweet　face　looked　up　to　me；

'this　is　Death。　　This　life　you　lead　is　Death。　　Go　back　to　them；　go

back　to　your　duty'



〃She　began　to　weep；　saying；　between　her　sobs；　and　clinging　to

my　arm　as　she　said　it；　'Go　backGo　back。'



〃Then　suddenly　she　fell　mute；　and；　glancing　down　at　her　face；

I　read　in　an　instant　the　thing　she　had　thought　to　do。　　It　was　one

of　those　moments　when　one　sees。



〃'No！'　I　said。



〃'No？'　she　asked；　in　surprise　and　I　think　a　little　fearful　at

the　answer　to　her　thought。



〃'Nothing；'　I　said；　'shall　send　me　back。　　Nothing！　　I　have

chosen。　　Love；　I　have　chosen；　and　the　world　must　go。　　Whatever

happens　I　will　live　this　lifeI　will　live　for　you！　　Itnothing

shall　turn　me　aside；　nothing；　my　dear　one。　　Even　if　you　diedeven

if　you　died'



〃'Yes？'　she　murmured；　softly。



〃'ThenI　also　would　die。'



〃And　before　she　could　speak　again　I　began　to　talk；　talking

eloquentlyas　I　could　do　in　that　lifetalking　to　exalt　love；　to

make　the　life　we　were　living　seem　heroic　and　glorious；　and　the

thing　I　was　deserting　something　hard　and　enormously　ignoble　that　it

was　a　fine　thing　to　set　aside。　　I　bent　all　my　mind　to　throw　that

glamour　upon　it；　seeking　not　only　to　convert　her　but　myself　to

that。　　We　talked；　and　she　clung　to　me；　torn　too　between　all　that

she　deemed　noble　and　all　that　she　knew　was　sweet。　　And　at　last　I

did　make　it　heroic；　made　all　the　thickening　disaster　of　the　world

only　a　sort　of　glorious　setting　to　our　unparalleled　love；　and　we

two　poor　foolish　souls　strutted　there　at　last；　clad　in　that

splendid　delusion；　drunken　rather　with　that　glorious　delusion；

under　the　still　stars。



〃And　so　my　moment　passed。



〃It　was　my　last　chance。　　Even　as　we　went　to　and　fro　there；　the

leaders　of　the　south　and　east　were　gathering　their　resolve；　and　the

hot　answer　that　shattered　Evesham's　bluffing　for　ever；　took　shape

and　waited。　　And；　all　over　Asia；　and　the　ocean；　and　the　South；　the

air　and　the　wires　were　throbbing　with　their　warnings　to　prepare

prepare。



〃No　one　living；　you　know；　knew　what　war　was；　no　one　could

imagine；　with　all　these　new　inventions；　what　horror　war　might

bring。　　I　believe　most　people　still　believed　it　would　be　a　matter

of　brig