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a dream of armageddom-第2部分
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the grace of her body was in the cool blue shadow。 She was dressed
how can I describe it? It was easy and flowing。 And altogether
there she stood; so that it came to me how beautiful and desirable
she was; as though I had never seen her before。 And when at last
I sighed and raised myself upon my arm she turned her face to me〃
He stopped。
〃I have lived three…and…fifty years in this world。 I have had
mother; sisters; friends; wife and daughtersall their faces; the
play of their faces; I know。 But the face of this girlit is much
more real to me。 I can bring it back into memory so that I see it
againI could draw it or paint it。 And after all〃
He stoppedbut I said nothing。
〃The face of a dreamthe face of a dream。 She was beautiful。
Not that beauty which is terrible; cold; and worshipful; like the
beauty of a saint; nor that beauty that stirs fierce passions; but
a sort of radiation; sweet lips that softened into smiles; and
grave gray eyes。 And she moved gracefully; she seemed to have part
with all pleasant and gracious things〃
He stopped; and his face was downcast and hidden。 Then he
looked up at me and went on; making no further attempt to disguise
his absolute belief in the reality of his story。
〃You see; I had thrown up my plans and ambitions; thrown up
all I had ever worked for or desired for her sake。 I had been a
master man away there in the north; with influence and property and
a great reputation; but none of it had seemed worth having beside
her。 I had come to the place; this city of sunny pleasures with
her; and left all those things to wreck and ruin just to save a
remnant at least of my life。 While I had been in love with her
before I knew that she had any care for me; before I had imagined
that she would darethat we should dare; all my life had seemed
vain and hollow; dust and ashes。 It was dust and ashes。 Night
after night and through the long days I had longed and desiredmy
soul had beaten against the thing forbidden!
〃But it is impossible for one man to tell another just these
things。 It's emotion; it's a tint; a light that comes and goes。
Only while it's there; everything changes; everything。 The thing
is I came away and left them in their Crisis to do what they
could。〃
〃Left whom?〃 I asked; puzzled。
〃The people up in the north there。 You seein this dream;
anyhowI had been a big man; the sort of man men come to trust in;
to group themselves about。 Millions of men who had never seen me
were ready to do things and risk things because of their confidence
in me。 I had been playing that game for years; that big laborious
game; that vague; monstrous political game amidst intrigues and
betrayals; speech and agitation。 It was a vast weltering world;
and at last I had a sort of leadership against the Gangyou know
it was called the Ganga sort of compromise of scoundrelly
projects and base ambitions and vast public emotional stupidities
and catch…wordsthe Gang that kept the world noisy and blind year
by year; and all the while that it was drifting; drifting towards
infinite disaster。 But I can't expect you to understand the shades
and complications of the yearthe year something or other ahead。
I had it alldown to the smallest detailsin my dream。 I suppose
I had been dreaming of it before I awoke; and the fading outline of
some queer new development I had imagined still hung about me as I
rubbed my eyes。 It was some grubby affair that made me thank God
for the sunlight。 I sat up on the couch and remained looking at
the woman and rejoicingrejoicing that I had come away out of all
that tumult and folly and violence before it was too late。 After
all; I thought; this is lifelove and beauty; desire and delight;
are they not worth all those dismal struggles for vague; gigantic
ends? And I blamed myself for having ever sought to be a leader
when I might have given my days to love。 But then; thought I; if
I had not spent my early days sternly and austerely; I might have
wasted myself upon vain and worthless women; and at the thought all
my being went out in love and tenderness to my dear mistress; my
dear lady; who had come at last and compelled mecompelled me by
her invincible charm for meto lay that life aside。
〃'You are worth it;' I said; speaking without intending her to
hear; 'you are worth it; my dearest one; worth pride and praise and
all things。 Love! to have you is worth them all together。〃 And at
the murmur of my voice she turned about。
〃'Come and see;' she criedI can hear her now'come and see
the sunrise upon Monte Solaro。'
〃I remember how I sprang to my feet and joined her at the
balcony。 She put a white hand upon my shoulder and pointed towards
great masses of limestone; flushing; as it were; into life。 I
looked。 But first I noted the sunlight on her face caressing the
lines of her cheeks and neck。 How can I describe to you the scene
we had before us? We were at Capri〃
〃I have been there;〃 I said。 〃I have clambered up Monte
Solaro and drunk vero Caprimuddy stuff like ciderat the
summit。〃
〃Ah!〃 said the man with the white face; 〃then perhaps you can
tell meyou will know if this is indeed Capri。 For in this life
I have never been there。 Let me describe it。 We were in a little
room; one of a vast multitude of little rooms; very cool and sunny;
hollowed out of the limestone of a sort of cape; very high above
the sea。 The whole island; you know; was one enormous hotel;
complex beyond explaining; and on the other side there were miles
of floating hotels; and huge floating stages to which the flying
machines came。 They called it a pleasure city。 Of course; there
was none of that in your timerather; I should say; is none of
that now。 Of course。 Now!yes。
〃Well; this room of ours was at the extremity of the cape; so
that one could see east and west。 Eastward was a great cliffa
thousand feet high perhapscoldly gray except for one bright edge
of gold; and beyond it the Isle of the Sirens; and a falling coast
that faded and passed into the hot sunrise。 And when one turned to
the west; distinct and near was a little bay; a little beach still
in shadow。 And out of that shadow rose Solaro straight and tall;
flushed and golden crested; like a beauty throned; and the white
moon was floating behind her in the sky。 And before us from east
to west stretched the many…tinted sea all dotted with little
sailing boats。
〃To the eastward; of course; these little boats were gray and
very minute and clear; but to the westward they were little boats
of goldshining goldalmost like little flames。 And just below
us was a rock with an arch worn through it。 The blue sea…water
broke to green and foam all round the rock; and a galley came
gliding out of the arch。〃
〃I know that rock。〃 I said。 〃I was nearly drowned there。 It
is called the Faraglioni。〃
〃I Faraglioni? Yes; she called it that;〃 answer
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