a woman of thirty-第4部分

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with　a　convulsive　grip　as　if　she　herself　were　in　danger　of　falling；　and　the　old　man　looked　at　his　daughter's　tell…tale　face　with　dark　and　painful　anxiety。　Pity；　jealousy；　something　even　of　regret　stole　across　every　drawn　and　wrinkled　line　of　mouth　and　brow。　When　he　saw　the　unwonted　light　in　Julie's　eyes；　when　that　cry　broke　from　her；　when　the　convulsive　grasp　of　her　fingers　drew　away　the　veil　and　put　him　in　possession　of　her　secret；　then　with　that　revelation　of　her　love　there　came　surely　some　swift　revelation　of　the　future。　Mournful　forebodings　could　be　read　in　his　own　face。

Julie's　soul　seemed　at　that　moment　to　have　passed　into　the　officer's　being。　A　torturing　thought　more　cruel　than　any　previous　dread　contracted　the　old　man's　painworn　features；　as　he　saw　the　glance　of　understanding　that　passed　between　the　soldier　and　Julie。　The　girl's　eyes　were　wet；　her　cheeks　glowed　with　unwonted　color。　Her　father　turned　abruptly　and　led　her　away　into　the　Garden　of　the　Tuileries。

〃Why；　father；〃　she　cried；　〃there　are　still　the　regiments　in　the　Place　du　Carrousel　to　be　passed　in　review。〃

〃No；　child；　all　the　troops　are　marching　out。〃

〃I　think　you　are　mistaken；　father；　M。　d'Aiglemont　surely　told　them　to　advance〃

〃But　I　feel　ill；　my　child；　and　I　do　not　care　to　stay。〃

Julie　could　readily　believe　the　words　when　she　glanced　at　his　face；　he　looked　quite　worn　out　by　his　fatherly　anxieties。

〃Are　you　feeling　very　ill？〃　she　asked　indifferently；　her　mind　was　so　full　of　other　thoughts。

〃Every　day　is　a　reprieve　for　me；　is　it　not？〃　returned　her　father。

〃Now　do　you　mean　to　make　me　miserable　again　by　talking　about　your　death？　I　was　in　such　spirits！　Do　pray　get　rid　of　those　horrid　gloomy　ideas　of　yours。〃

The　father　heaved　a　sigh。　〃Ah！　spoiled　child；〃　he　cried；　〃the　best　hearts　are　sometimes　very　cruel。　We　devote　our　whole　lives　to　you；　you　are　our　one　thought；　we　plan　for　your　welfare；　sacrifice　our　tastes　to　your　whims；　idolize　you；　give　the　very　blood　in　our　veins　for　you；　and　all　this　is　nothing；　is　it？　Alas！　yes；　you　take　it　all　as　a　matter　of　course。　If　we　would　always　have　your　smiles　and　your　disdainful　love；　we　should　need　the　power　of　God　in　heaven。　Then　comes　another；　a　lover；　a　husband；　and　steals　away　your　heart。〃

Julie　looked　in　amazement　at　her　father；　he　walked　slowly　along；　and　there　was　no　light　in　the　eyes　which　he　turned　upon　her。

〃You　hide　yourself　even　from　us；〃　he　continued；　〃but；　perhaps；　also　you　hide　yourself　from　yourself〃

〃What　do　you　mean　by　that；　father？〃

〃I　think　that　you　have　secrets　from　me；　Julie。You　love；〃　he　went　on　quickly；　as　he　saw　the　color　rise　to　her　face。　〃Oh！　I　hoped　that　you　would　stay　with　your　old　father　until　he　died。　I　hoped　to　keep　you　with　me；　still　radiant　and　happy；　to　admire　you　as　you　were　but　so　lately。　So　long　as　I　knew　nothing　of　your　future　I　could　believe　in　a　happy　lot　for　you；　but　now　I　cannot　possibly　take　away　with　me　a　hope　of　happiness　for　your　life；　for　you　love　the　colonel　even　more　than　the　cousin。　I　can　no　longer　doubt　it。〃

〃And　why　should　I　be　forbidden　to　love　him？〃　asked　Julie；　with　lively　curiosity　in　her　face。

〃Ah；　my　Julie；　you　would　not　understand　me；〃　sighed　the　father。

〃Tell　me；　all　the　same；〃　said　Julie；　with　an　involuntary　petulant　gesture。

〃Very　well；　child；　listen　to　me。　Girls　are　apt　to　imagine　noble　and　enchanting　and　totally　imaginary　figures　in　their　own　minds；　they　have　fanciful　extravagant　ideas　about　men；　and　sentiment；　and　life；　and　then　they　innocently　endow　somebody　or　other　with　all　the　perfections　of　their　day…dreams；　and　put　their　trust　in　him。　They　fall　in　love　with　this　imaginary　creature　in　the　man　of　their　choice；　and　then；　when　it　is　too　late　to　escape　from　their　fate；　behold　their　first　idol；　the　illusion　made　fair　with　their　fancies；　turns　to　an　odious　skeleton。　Julie；　I　would　rather　have　you　fall　in　love　with　an　old　man　than　with　the　Colonel。　Ah！　if　you　could　but　see　things　from　the　standpoint　of　ten　years　hence；　you　would　admit　that　my　old　experience　was　right。　I　know　what　Victor　is；　that　gaiety　of　his　is　simply　animal　spiritsthe　gaiety　of　the　barracks。　He　has　no　ability；　and　he　is　a　spendthrift。　He　is　one　of　those　men　whom　Heaven　created　to　eat　and　digest　four　meals　a　day；　to　sleep；　to　fall　in　love　with　the　first　woman　that　comes　to　hand；　and　to　fight。　He　does　not　understand　life。　His　kind　heart；　for　he　has　a　kind　heart；　will　perhaps　lead　him　to　give　his　purse　to　a　sufferer　or　to　a　comrade；　/but/　he　is　careless；　he　has　not　the　delicacy　of　heart　which　makes　us　slaves　to　a　woman's　happiness；　he　is　ignorant；　he　is　selfish。　There　are　plenty　of　/buts/〃

〃But；　father；　he　must　surely　be　clever；　he　must　have　ability；　or　he　would　not　be　a　colonel〃

〃My　dear；　Victor　will　be　a　colonel　all　his　life。I　have　seen　no　one　who　appears　to　me　to　be　worthy　of　you；〃　the　old　father　added；　with　a　kind　of　enthusiasm。

He　paused　an　instant；　looked　at　his　daughter；　and　added；　〃Why；　my　poor　Julie；　you　are　still　too　young；　too　fragile；　too　delicate　for　the　cares　and　rubs　of　married　life。　D'Aiglemont's　relations　have　spoiled　him；　just　as　your　mother　and　I　have　spoiled　you。　What　hope　is　there　that　you　two　could　agree；　with　two　imperious　wills　diametrically　opposed　to　each　other？　You　will　be　either　the　tyrant　or　the　victim；　and　either　alternative　means；　for　a　wife；　an　equal　sum　of　misfortune。　But　you　are　modest　and　sweet…natured；　you　would　yield　from　the　first。　In　short；〃　he　added；　in　a　quivering　voice；　〃there　is　a　grace　of　feeling　in　you　which　would　never　be　valued；　and　then〃　he　broke　off；　for　the　tears　overcame　him。

〃Victor　will　give　you　pain　through　all　the　girlish　qualities　of　your　young　nature；〃　he　went　on；　after　a　pause。　〃I　know　what　soldiers　are；　my　Julie；　I　have　been　in　the　army。　In　a　man　of　that　kind；　love　very　seldom　gets　the　better　of　old　habits；　due　partly　to　the　miseries　amid　which　soldiers　live；　partly　to　the　risks　they　run　in　a　life　of　adventure。〃

〃Then　you　mean　to　cross　my　inclinations；　do　you；　father？〃　asked　Julie；　half　in　earnest；　half　in　jest。　〃Am　I　to　marry　to　please　you　and　not　to　please　myself？〃

〃To　please　me！〃　cried　her　father；　with　a　start　of　surprise。　〃To　please　/me/；　child？　when　you　will　not　hear　the　voice　that　upbraids　you　so　tenderly　very　much　longer！　But　I　have　always　heard　children　impute　personal　motives　for　the　sacrifices　that　their　parents　make　for　them。　Marry　Victor；　my　Julie！　Some　day　you　will　bitterly　deplore　his　ineptitude；　his　thriftless　ways；　his　selfishness；　his　lack　of　delicacy；　his　inability　to　understand　love；　and　countless　troubles　arising　through　him。　Then；　remember；　that　here　under　these　trees　your　old　father's　prophetic　voice　sounded　in　your　ears　in　vain。〃

He　said　no　more；　he　had　detected　a　rebellious　shake　of　the　head　on　his　daughter's　part。　Both　made　several　paces　towards　the　carriage　which　was　waiting　for　them　at　the　grating。　During　that　interval　of　silence；　the　young　girl　stole　a　glance　at　her　father's　face；　and　little　by　little　her　sullen　brow　cleared。　The　intense　pain　visible　on　his　bowed　forehead　made　a　lively　impression　upon　her。

〃Father；〃　she　began　in　gentle　tremulous　tones；　〃I　promise　to　say　no　more　about　Victor　until　you　have　overcome　your　prejudices　against　him