introductory-第11部分

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of　human　tenderness　to　the　forms　which　fancy　summons　up。　It　converts

them　from　snow…images　into　men　and　women。　Glancing　at　the

looking…glass；　we　behold…　deep　within　its　haunted　verge…　the

smouldering　glow　of　the　half…extinguished　anthracite；　the　white

moonbeams　on　the　floor；　and　a　repetition　of　all　the　gleam　and　shadow

of　the　picture；　with　one　remove　farther　from　the　actual；　and　nearer　to

the　imaginative。　Then；　at　such　an　hour；　and　with　this　scene　before

him；　if　a　man；　sitting　all　alone；　cannot　dream　strange　things；　and

make　them　look　like　truth；　he　need　never　try　to　write　romances。

　　But；　for　myself；　during　the　whole　of　my　Custom…House　experience；

moonlight　and　sunshine；　and　the　glow　of　firelight；　were　just　alike

in　my　regard；　and　neither　of　them　was　of　one　whit　more　avail　than

the　twinkle　of　a　tallow…candle。　An　entire　class　of　susceptibilities；

and　a　gift　connected　with　them…　of　no　great　richness　or　value；　but　the

best　I　had…　was　gone　from　me。

　　It　is　my　belief；　however；　that；　had　I　attempted　a　different　order　of

composition；　my　faculties　would　not　have　been　found　so　pointless　and

inefficacious。　I　might；　for　instance；　have　contented　myself　with

writing　out　the　narratives　of　a　veteran　shipmaster；　one　of　the

Inspectors；　whom　I　should　be　most　ungrateful　not　to　mention；　since

scarcely　a　day　passed　that　he　did　not　stir　me　to　laughter　and

admiration　by　his　marvellous　gifts　as　a　story…teller。　Could　I　have

preserved　the　picturesque　force　of　his　style；　and　the　humorous

colouring　which　nature　taught　him　how　to　throw　over　his

descriptions；　the　result；　I　honestly　believe；　would　have　been

something　new　in　literature。　Or　I　might　readily　have　found　a　more

serious　task。　It　was　a　folly；　with　the　materiality　of　this　daily

life　pressing　so　intrusively　upon　me；　to　attempt　to　fling　myself

back　into　another　age；　or　to　insist　on　creating　the　semblance　of　a

world　out　of　airy　matter；　when；　at　every　moment；　the　impalpable　beauty

of　my　soap…bubble　was　broken　by　the　rude　contact　of　some　actual

circumstance。　The　wiser　effort　would　have　been；　to　diffuse　thought　and

imagination　through　the　opaque　substance　of　to…day；　and　thus　to　make

it　a　bright　transparency；　to　spiritualise　the　burden　that　began　to

weigh　so　heavily；　to　seek；　resolutely；　the　true　and　indestructible

value　that　lay　hidden　in　the　petty　and　wearisome　incidents；　and

ordinary　characters；　with　which　I　was　now　conversant。　The　fault　was

mine。　The　page　of　life　that　was　spread　out　before　me　seemed　dull　and

commonplace；　only　because　I　had　not　fathomed　its　deeper　import。　A

better　book　than　I　shall　ever　write　was　there；　leaf　after　leaf

presenting　itself　to　me；　just　as　it　was　written　out　by　the　reality

of　the　flitting　hour；　and　vanishing　as　fast　as　written；　only　because

my　brain　wanted　the　insight　and　my　hand　the　cunning　to　transcribe

it。　At　some　future　day；　it　may　be；　I　shall　remember　a　few　scattered

fragments　and　broken　paragraphs；　and　write　them　down；　and　find　the

letters　turn　to　gold　upon　the　page。

　　These　perceptions　have　come　too　late。　At　the　instant；　I　was　only

conscious　that　what　would　have　been　a　pleasure　once　was　now　a　hopeless

toil。　There　was　no　occasion　to　make　much　moan　about　this　state　of

affairs。　I　had　ceased　to　be　a　writer　of　tolerably　poor　tales　and

essays；　and　had　become　a　tolerably　good　Surveyor　of　the　Customs。

That　was　all。　But；　nevertheless；　it　is　anything　but　agreeable　to　be

haunted　by　a　suspicion　that　one's　intellect　is　dwindling　away；　or

exhaling；　without　your　consciousness；　like　ether　out　of　a　phial；　so

that；　at　every　glance；　you　find　a　smaller　and　less　volatile

residuum。　Of　the　fact　there　could　be　no　doubt；　and；　examining　myself

and　others；　I　was　led　to　conclusions；　in　reference　to　the　effect　of

public　office　on　the　character；　not　very　favourable　to　the　mode　of

life　in　question。　In　some　other　form；　perhaps；　I　may　hereafter　develop

these　effects。　Suffice　it　here　to　say；　that　a　Custom…House　officer；　of

long　continuance；　can　hardly　be　a　very　praiseworthy　or　respectable

personage；　for　many　reasons；　one　of　them；　the　tenure　by　which　he　holds

his　situation；　and　another；　the　very　nature　of　his　business；　which…

though；　I　trust；　an　honest　one…　is　of　such　a　sort　that　he　does　not

share　in　the　united　effort　of　mankind。

　　An　effect…　which　I　believe　to　be　observable；　more　or　less；　in

every　individual　who　has　occupied　the　position…　is；　that；　while　he

leans　on　the　mighty　arm　of　the　Republic；　his　own　proper　strength

departs　from　him。　He　loses；　in　an　extent　proportioned　to　the

weakness　or　force　of　his　original　nature；　the　capability　of

self…support。　If　he　possess　an　unusual　share　of　native　energy；　or

the　enervating　magic　of　place　do　not　operate　too　long　upon　him；　his

forfeited　powers　may　be　redeemable。　The　ejected　officer…　fortunate

in　the　unkindly　shove　that　sends　him　forth　betimes；　to　struggle　amid　a

struggling　world…　may　return　to　himself；　and　become　all　that　he　has

ever　been。　But　this　seldom　happens。　He　usually　keeps　his　ground　just

long　enough　for　his　own　ruin；　and　is　then　thrust　out；　with　sinews

all　unstrung；　to　totter　along　the　difficult　footpath　of　life　as　he

best　may。　Conscious　of　his　own　infirmity…　that　his　tempered　steel

and　elasticity　are　lost…　he　forever　afterwards　looks　wistfully　about

him　in　quest　of　support　external　to　himself。　His　pervading　and

continual　hope…　a　hallucination；　which；　in　the　face　of　all

discouragement；　and　making　light　of　impossibilities；　haunts　him

while　he　lives；　and；　I　fancy；　like　the　convulsive　throes　of　the

cholera；　torments　him　for　a　brief　space　after　death…　is；　that　finally；

and　in　no　long　time；　by　some　happy　coincidence　of　circumstances；　he

shall　be　restored　to　office。　This　faith；　more　than　anything　else；

steals　the　pith　and　availability　out　of　whatever　enterprise　he　may

dream　of　undertaking。　Why　should　he　toil　and　moil；　and　be　at　so　much

trouble　to　pick　himself　up　out　of　the　mud；　when；　in　a　little　while

hence；　the　strong　arm　of　his　Uncle　will　raise　and　support　him？　Why

should　he　work　for　his　living　here；　or　go　to　dig　gold　in　California；

when　he　is　so　soon　to　be　made　happy；　at　monthly　intervals；　with　a

little　pile　of　glittering　coin　out　of　his　Uncle's　pocket？　It　is

sadly　curious　to　observe　how　slight　a　taste　of　office　suffices　to

infect　a　poor　fellow　with　this　singular　disease。　Uncle　Sam's　gold…

meaning　no　disrespect　to　the　worthy　old　gentleman…　has；　in　this

respect；　a　quality　of　enchantment　like　that　of　the　Devil's　wages。

Whoever　touches　it　should　look　well　to　himself；　or　he　may　find　the

bargain　to　go　hard　against　him；　involving；　if　not　his　soul；　yet　many

of　its　better　attributes；　its　sturdy　force；　its　courage　and　constancy；

its　truth；　its　self…reliance；　and　all　that　gives　the　emphasis　to　manly

character。

　　Here　was　a　fine　prospect　in　the　distance！　Not　that　the　Surveyor

brought　the　lesson　home　to　himself；　or　admitted　that　he　could　be　so

utterly　undone；　either　by　continuance　in　office；　or　ejectment。　Yet

my　reflections　were　not　the　most　comfortabl