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jane eyre(简·爱)-第8部分

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the piano or the harp played below; to the passing to and fro of the 
butler and footman; to the jingling of glass and china as refreshments 
were handed; to the broken hum of conversation as the drawing…room 
door opened and closed。 When tired of this occupation; I would 
retire from the stair…head to the solitary and silent nursery: 
there; though somewhat sad; I was not miserable。 To speak truth; I had 
not the least wish to go into company; for in company I was very 
rarely noticed; and if Bessie had but been kind and companionable; I 
should have deemed it a treat to spend the evenings quietly with 
her; instead of passing them under the formidable eye of Mrs。 Reed; in 
a room full of ladies and gentlemen。 But Bessie; as soon as she had 
dressed her young ladies; used to take herself off to the lively 
regions of the kitchen and housekeeper's room; generally bearing the 
candle along with her。 I then sat with my doll on my knee till the 
fire got low; glancing round occasionally to make sure that nothing 
worse than myself haunted the shadowy room; and when the embers sank 
to a dull red; I undressed hastily; tugging at knots and strings as 
I best might; and sought shelter from cold and darkness in my crib。 To 
this crib I always took my doll; human beings must love something; 
and; in the dearth of worthier objects of affection; I contrived to 
find a pleasure in loving and cherishing a faded graven image; 
shabby as a miniature scarecrow。 It puzzles me now to remember with 
what absurd sincerity I doated on this little toy; half fancying it 
alive and capable of sensation。 I could not sleep unless it was folded 
in my night…gown; and when it lay there safe and warm; I was 
comparatively happy; believing it to be happy likewise。 
   Long did the hours seem while I waited the departure of the 
company; and listened for the sound of Bessie's step on the stairs: 
sometimes she would come up in the interval to seek her thimble or her 
scissors; or perhaps to bring me something by way of supper… a bun 
or a cheese…cake… then she would sit on the bed while I ate it; and 
when I had finished; she would tuck the clothes round me; and twice 
she kissed me; and said; 'Good night; Miss Jane。' When thus gentle; 
Bessie seemed to me the best; prettiest; kindest being in the world; 
and I wished most intensely that she would always be so pleasant and 
amiable; and never push me about; or scold; or task me unreasonably; 
as she was too often wont to do。 Bessie; Lee must; I think; have 
been a girl of good natural capacity; for she was smart in all she 
did; and had a remarkable knack of narrative; so; at least; I judge 
from the impression made on me by her nursery tales。 She was pretty 
too; if my recollections of her face and person are correct。 I 
remember her as a slim young woman; with black hair; dark eyes; very 
nice features; and good; clear complexion; but she had a capricious 
and hasty temper; and indifferent ideas of principle or justice: 
still; such as she was; I preferred her to any one else at Gateshead 
Hall。 
   It was the fifteenth of January; about nine o'clock in the morning: 
Bessie was gone down to breakfast; my cousins had not yet been 
summoned to their mama; Eliza was putting on her bonnet and warm 
garden…coat to go and feed her poultry; an occupation of which she was 
fond: and not less so of selling the eggs to the housekeeper and 
hoarding up the money she thus obtained。 She had a turn for traffic; 
and a marked propensity for saving; shown not only in the vending of 
eggs and chickens; but also in driving hard bargains with the gardener 
about flower…roots; seeds; and slips of plants; that functionary 
having orders from Mrs。 Reed to buy of his young lady all the products 
of her parterre she wished to sell: and Eliza would have sold the hair 
off her head if she could have made a handsome profit thereby。 As to 
her money; she first secreted it in odd corners; wrapped in a rag or 
an old curl…paper; but some of these hoards having been discovered 
by the housemaid; Eliza; fearful of one day losing her valued 
treasure; consented to intrust it to her mother; at a usurious rate of 
interest… fifty or sixty per cent。; which interest she exacted every 
quarter; keeping her accounts in a little book with anxious accuracy。 
   Georgiana sat on a high stool; dressing her hair at the glass; 
and interweaving her curls with artificial flowers and faded feathers; 
of which she had found a store in a drawer in the attic。 I was 
making my bed; having received strict orders from Bessie to get it 
arranged before she returned; (for Bessie now frequently employed me 
as a sort of under…nurserymaid; to tidy the room; dust the chairs; 
etc。)。 Having spread the quilt and folded my night…dress; I went to 
the window…seat to put in order some picture…books and doll's house 
furniture scattered there; an abrupt command from Georgiana to let her 
playthings alone (for the tiny chairs and mirrors; the fairy plates 
and cups; were her property) stopped my proceedings; and then; for 
lack of other occupation; I fell to breathing on the frost…flowers 
with which the window was fretted; and thus clearing a space in the 
glass through which I might look out on the grounds; where all was 
still and petrified under the influence of a hard frost。 
   From this window were visible the porter's lodge and the 
carriage…road; and just as I had dissolved so much of the silver…white 
foliage veiling the panes as left room to look out; I saw the gates 
thrown open and a carriage roll through。 I watched it ascending the 
drive with indifference; carriages often came to Gateshead; but none 
ever brought visitors in whom I was interested; it stopped in front of 
the house; the door…bell rang loudly; the new…comer was admitted。 
All this being nothing to me; my vacant attention soon found 
livelier attraction in the spectacle of a little hungry robin; which 
came and chirruped on the twigs of the leafless cherry…tree nailed 
against the wall near the casement。 The remains of my breakfast of 
bread and milk stood on the table; and having crumbled a morsel of 
roll; I was tugging at the sash to put out the crumbs on the 
window…sill; when Bessie came running upstairs into the nursery。 
   'Miss Jane; take off your pinafore; what are you doing there? 
Have you washed your hands and face this morning?' I gave another 
tug before I answered; for I wanted the bird to be secure of its 
bread: the sash yielded; I scattered the crumbs; some on the stone 
sill; some on the cherry…tree bough; then; closing the window; I 
replied… 
   'No; Bessie; I have only just finished dusting。' 
   'Troublesome; careless child! and what are you doing now? You 
look quite red; as if you have been about some mischief: what were you 
opening the window for?' 
   I was spared the trouble of answering; for Bessie seemed in too 
great a hurry to listen to explanations; she hauled me to the 
washstand; inflicted a merciless; but happily brief scrub on my face 
and hands with soap; water; and a coarse towel; disciplined my head 
with a bristly brush; denuded me of my pinafore
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