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jane eyre(简·爱)-第7部分

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could sing and pieces they could play; of purses they could net; of 
French books they could translate; till my spirit was moved to 
emulation as I listened。 Besides; school would be a complete change: 
it implied a long journey; an entire separation from Gateshead; an 
entrance into a new life。 
   'I should indeed like to go to school;' was the audible 
conclusion of my musings。 
   'Well; well! who knows what may happen?' said Mr。 Lloyd; as he 
got up。 'The child ought to have change of air and scene;' he added; 
speaking to himself; 'nerves not in a good state。' 
   Bessie now returned; at the same moment the carriage was heard 
rolling up the gravel…walk。 
   'Is that your mistress; nurse?' asked Mr。 Lloyd。 'I should like 
to speak to her before I go。' 
   Bessie invited him to walk into the breakfast…room; and led the way 
out。 In the interview which followed between him and Mrs。 Reed; I 
presume; from after…occurrences; that the apothecary ventured to 
recommend my being sent to school; and the recommendation was no doubt 
readily enough adopted; for as Abbot said; in discussing the subject 
with Bessie when both sat sewing in the nursery one night; after I was 
in bed; and; as they thought; asleep; 'Missis was; she dared say; glad 
enough to get rid of such a tiresome; ill…conditioned child; who 
always looked as if she were watching everybody; and scheming plots 
underhand。' Abbot; I think; gave me credit for being a sort of 
infantine Guy Fawkes。 
   On that same occasion I learned; for the first time; from Miss 
Abbot's communications to Bessie; that my father had been a poor 
clergyman; that my mother had married him against the wishes of her 
friends; who considered the match beneath her; that my grandfather 
Reed was so irritated at her disobedience; he cut her off without a 
shilling; that after my mother and father had been married a year; the 
latter caught the typhus fever while visiting among the poor of a 
large manufacturing town where his curacy was situated; and where that 
disease was then prevalent: that my mother took the infection from 
him; and both died within a month of each other。 
   Bessie; when she heard this narrative; sighed and said; 'Poor 
Miss Jane is to be pitied too; Abbot。' 
   'Yes;' responded Abbot; 'if she were a nice; pretty child; one 
might compassionate her forlornness; but one really cannot care for 
such a little toad as that。' 
   'Not a great deal; to be sure;' agreed Bessie: 'at any rate; a 
beauty like Miss Georgiana would be more moving in the same 
condition。' 
   'Yes; I doat on Miss Georgiana!' cried the fervent Abbot。 'Little 
darling!… with her long curls and her blue eyes; and such a sweet 
colour as she has; just as if she were painted!… Bessie; I could fancy 
a Welsh rabbit for supper。' 
   'So could I… with a roast onion。 Come; we'll go down。' They went。 


                          CHAPTER IV 


   FROM my discourse with Mr。 Lloyd; and from the above reported 
conference between Bessie and Abbot; I gathered enough of hope to 
suffice as a motive for wishing to get well: a change seemed near;… 
I desired and waited it in silence。 It tarried; however: days and 
weeks passed: I had regained my normal state of health; but no new 
allusion was made to the subject over which I brooded。 Mrs。 Reed 
surveyed me at times with a severe eye; but seldom addressed me: since 
my illness; she had drawn a more marked line of separation than ever 
between me and her own children; appointing me a small closet to sleep 
in by myself; condemning me to take my meals alone; and pass all my 
time in the nursery; while my cousins were constantly in the 
drawing…room。 Not a hint; however; did she drop about sending me to 
school: still I felt an instinctive certainty that she would not 
long endure me under the same roof with her; for her glance; now 
more than ever; when turned on me; expressed an insuperable and rooted 
aversion。 
   Eliza and Georgiana; evidently acting according to orders; spoke to 
me as little as possible: John thrust his tongue in his cheek whenever 
he saw me; and once attempted chastisement; but as I instantly 
turned against him; roused by the same sentiment of deep ire and 
desperate revolt which had stirred my corruption before; he thought it 
better to desist; and ran from me uttering execrations; and vowing I 
had burst his nose。 I had indeed levelled at that prominent feature as 
hard a blow as my knuckles could inflict; and when I saw that either 
that or my look daunted him; I had the greatest inclination to 
follow up my advantage to purpose; but he was already with his mama。 I 
heard him in a blubbering tone commence the tale of how 'that nasty 
Jane Eyre' had flown at him like a mad cat: he was stopped rather 
harshly… 
   'Don't talk to me about her; John: I told you not to go near her; 
she is not worthy of notice; I do not choose that either you or your 
sisters should associate with her。' 
   Here; leaning over the banister; I cried out suddenly; and 
without at all deliberating on my words… 
   'They are not fit to associate with me。' 
   Mrs。 Reed was rather a stout woman; but; on hearing this strange 
and audacious declaration; she ran nimbly up the stair; swept me 
like a whirlwind into the nursery; and crushing me down on the edge of 
my crib; dared me in an emphatic voice to rise from that place; or 
utter one syllable during the remainder of the day。 
   'What would Uncle Reed say to you; if he were alive?' was my 
scarcely voluntary demand。 I say scarcely voluntary; for it seemed 
as if my tongue pronounced words; without my will consenting to 
their utterance: something spoke out of me over which I had no 
control。 
   'What?' said Mrs。 Reed under her breath: her usually cold 
composed grey eye became troubled with a look like fear; she took 
her hand from my arm; and gazed at me as if she really did not know 
whether I were child or fiend。 I was now in for it。 
   'My Uncle Reed is in heaven; and can see all you do and think; 
and so can papa and mama: they know how you shut me up all day long; 
and how you wish me dead。' 
   Mrs。 Reed soon rallied her spirits: she shook me most soundly; 
she boxed both my ears; and then left me without a word。 Bessie 
supplied the hiatus by a homily of an hour's length; in which she 
proved beyond a doubt that I was the most wicked and abandoned child 
ever reared under a roof。 I half believed her; for I felt indeed 
only bad feelings surging in my breast。 
   November; December; and half of January passed away。 Christmas 
and the New Year had been celebrated at Gateshead with the usual 
festive cheer; presents had been interchanged; dinners and evening 
parties given。 From every enjoyment I was; of course; excluded: my 
share of the gaiety consisted in witnessing the daily apparelling of 
Eliza and Georgiana; and seeing them descend to the drawing…room; 
dressed out in thin muslin frocks and scarlet sashes; with hair 
elaborately ringleted; and afterwards; in listening to the sound of 
the piano or the harp played below; to the passing to and fro of the 
butler and footman; to the jinglin
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