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jane eyre(简·爱)-第7部分
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could sing and pieces they could play; of purses they could net; of
French books they could translate; till my spirit was moved to
emulation as I listened。 Besides; school would be a complete change:
it implied a long journey; an entire separation from Gateshead; an
entrance into a new life。
'I should indeed like to go to school;' was the audible
conclusion of my musings。
'Well; well! who knows what may happen?' said Mr。 Lloyd; as he
got up。 'The child ought to have change of air and scene;' he added;
speaking to himself; 'nerves not in a good state。'
Bessie now returned; at the same moment the carriage was heard
rolling up the gravel…walk。
'Is that your mistress; nurse?' asked Mr。 Lloyd。 'I should like
to speak to her before I go。'
Bessie invited him to walk into the breakfast…room; and led the way
out。 In the interview which followed between him and Mrs。 Reed; I
presume; from after…occurrences; that the apothecary ventured to
recommend my being sent to school; and the recommendation was no doubt
readily enough adopted; for as Abbot said; in discussing the subject
with Bessie when both sat sewing in the nursery one night; after I was
in bed; and; as they thought; asleep; 'Missis was; she dared say; glad
enough to get rid of such a tiresome; ill…conditioned child; who
always looked as if she were watching everybody; and scheming plots
underhand。' Abbot; I think; gave me credit for being a sort of
infantine Guy Fawkes。
On that same occasion I learned; for the first time; from Miss
Abbot's communications to Bessie; that my father had been a poor
clergyman; that my mother had married him against the wishes of her
friends; who considered the match beneath her; that my grandfather
Reed was so irritated at her disobedience; he cut her off without a
shilling; that after my mother and father had been married a year; the
latter caught the typhus fever while visiting among the poor of a
large manufacturing town where his curacy was situated; and where that
disease was then prevalent: that my mother took the infection from
him; and both died within a month of each other。
Bessie; when she heard this narrative; sighed and said; 'Poor
Miss Jane is to be pitied too; Abbot。'
'Yes;' responded Abbot; 'if she were a nice; pretty child; one
might compassionate her forlornness; but one really cannot care for
such a little toad as that。'
'Not a great deal; to be sure;' agreed Bessie: 'at any rate; a
beauty like Miss Georgiana would be more moving in the same
condition。'
'Yes; I doat on Miss Georgiana!' cried the fervent Abbot。 'Little
darling!… with her long curls and her blue eyes; and such a sweet
colour as she has; just as if she were painted!… Bessie; I could fancy
a Welsh rabbit for supper。'
'So could I… with a roast onion。 Come; we'll go down。' They went。
CHAPTER IV
FROM my discourse with Mr。 Lloyd; and from the above reported
conference between Bessie and Abbot; I gathered enough of hope to
suffice as a motive for wishing to get well: a change seemed near;…
I desired and waited it in silence。 It tarried; however: days and
weeks passed: I had regained my normal state of health; but no new
allusion was made to the subject over which I brooded。 Mrs。 Reed
surveyed me at times with a severe eye; but seldom addressed me: since
my illness; she had drawn a more marked line of separation than ever
between me and her own children; appointing me a small closet to sleep
in by myself; condemning me to take my meals alone; and pass all my
time in the nursery; while my cousins were constantly in the
drawing…room。 Not a hint; however; did she drop about sending me to
school: still I felt an instinctive certainty that she would not
long endure me under the same roof with her; for her glance; now
more than ever; when turned on me; expressed an insuperable and rooted
aversion。
Eliza and Georgiana; evidently acting according to orders; spoke to
me as little as possible: John thrust his tongue in his cheek whenever
he saw me; and once attempted chastisement; but as I instantly
turned against him; roused by the same sentiment of deep ire and
desperate revolt which had stirred my corruption before; he thought it
better to desist; and ran from me uttering execrations; and vowing I
had burst his nose。 I had indeed levelled at that prominent feature as
hard a blow as my knuckles could inflict; and when I saw that either
that or my look daunted him; I had the greatest inclination to
follow up my advantage to purpose; but he was already with his mama。 I
heard him in a blubbering tone commence the tale of how 'that nasty
Jane Eyre' had flown at him like a mad cat: he was stopped rather
harshly…
'Don't talk to me about her; John: I told you not to go near her;
she is not worthy of notice; I do not choose that either you or your
sisters should associate with her。'
Here; leaning over the banister; I cried out suddenly; and
without at all deliberating on my words…
'They are not fit to associate with me。'
Mrs。 Reed was rather a stout woman; but; on hearing this strange
and audacious declaration; she ran nimbly up the stair; swept me
like a whirlwind into the nursery; and crushing me down on the edge of
my crib; dared me in an emphatic voice to rise from that place; or
utter one syllable during the remainder of the day。
'What would Uncle Reed say to you; if he were alive?' was my
scarcely voluntary demand。 I say scarcely voluntary; for it seemed
as if my tongue pronounced words; without my will consenting to
their utterance: something spoke out of me over which I had no
control。
'What?' said Mrs。 Reed under her breath: her usually cold
composed grey eye became troubled with a look like fear; she took
her hand from my arm; and gazed at me as if she really did not know
whether I were child or fiend。 I was now in for it。
'My Uncle Reed is in heaven; and can see all you do and think;
and so can papa and mama: they know how you shut me up all day long;
and how you wish me dead。'
Mrs。 Reed soon rallied her spirits: she shook me most soundly;
she boxed both my ears; and then left me without a word。 Bessie
supplied the hiatus by a homily of an hour's length; in which she
proved beyond a doubt that I was the most wicked and abandoned child
ever reared under a roof。 I half believed her; for I felt indeed
only bad feelings surging in my breast。
November; December; and half of January passed away。 Christmas
and the New Year had been celebrated at Gateshead with the usual
festive cheer; presents had been interchanged; dinners and evening
parties given。 From every enjoyment I was; of course; excluded: my
share of the gaiety consisted in witnessing the daily apparelling of
Eliza and Georgiana; and seeing them descend to the drawing…room;
dressed out in thin muslin frocks and scarlet sashes; with hair
elaborately ringleted; and afterwards; in listening to the sound of
the piano or the harp played below; to the passing to and fro of the
butler and footman; to the jinglin
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