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jane eyre(简·爱)-第37部分
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solitary lane; till I see you are fit to mount your horse。'
He looked at me when I said this; he had hardly turned his eyes
in my direction before。
'I should think you ought to be at home yourself;' said he; 'if you
have a home in this neighbourhood: where do you come from?'
'From just below; and I am not at all afraid of being out late when
it is moonlight: I will run over to Hay for you with pleasure; if
you wish it: indeed; I am going there to post a letter。'
'You live just below… do you mean at that house with the
battlements?' pointing to Thornfield Hall; on which the moon cast a
hoary gleam; bringing it out distinct and pale from the woods; that;
by contrast with the western sky; now seemed one mass of shadow。
'Yes; sir。'
'Whose house is it?'
'Mr。 Rochester's。'
'Do you know Mr。 Rochester?'
'No; I have never seen him。'
'He is not resident; then?'
'No。'
'Can you tell me where he is?'
'I cannot。'
'You are not a servant at the hall; of course。 You are…' He
stopped; ran his eye over my dress; which; as usual; was quite simple:
a black merino cloak; a black beaver bonnet; neither of them half fine
enough for a lady's…maid。 He seemed puzzled to decide what I was; I
helped him。
'I am the governess。'
'Ah; the governess!' he repeated; 'deuce take me; if I had not
forgotten! The governess!' and again my raiment underwent scrutiny。 In
two minutes he rose from the stile: his face expressed pain when he
tried to move。
'I cannot commission you to fetch help;' he said; 'but you may help
me a little yourself; if you will be so kind。'
'Yes; sir。'
'You have not an umbrella that I can use as a stick?'
'No。'
'Try to get hold of my horse's bridle and lead him to me: you are
not afraid?'
I should have been afraid to touch a horse when alone; but when
told to do it; I was disposed to obey。 I put down my muff on the
stile; and went up to the tall steed; I endeavoured to catch the
bridle; but it was a spirited thing; and would not let me come near
its head; I made effort on effort; though in vain: meantime; I was
mortally afraid of its trampling forefeet。 The traveller waited and
watched for some time; and at last he laughed。
'I see;' he said; 'the mountain will never be brought to Mahomet;
so all you can do is to aid Mahomet to go to the mountain; I must
beg of you to come here。'
I came。 'Excuse me;' he continued: 'necessity compels me to make
you useful。' He laid a heavy hand on my shoulder; and leaning on me
with some stress; limped to his horse。 Having once caught the
bridle; he mastered it directly and sprang to his saddle; grimacing
grimly as he made the effort; for it wrenched his sprain。
'Now;' said he; releasing his under lip from a hard bite; 'just
hand me my whip; it lies there under the hedge。'
I sought it and found it。
'Thank you; now make haste with the letter to Hay; and return as
fast as you can。'
A touch of a spurred heel made his horse first start and rear;
and then bound away; the dog rushed in his traces; all three vanished;
'Like heath that; in the wilderness;
The wild wind whirls away。'
I took up my muff and walked on。 The incident had occurred and
was gone for me: it was an incident of no moment; no romance; no
interest in a sense; yet it marked with change one single hour of a
monotonous life。 My help had been needed and claimed; I had given
it: I was pleased to have done something; trivial; transitory though
the deed was; it was yet an active thing; and I was weary of an
existence all passive。 The new face; too; was like a new picture
introduced to the gallery of memory; and it was dissimilar to all
the others hanging there: firstly; because it was masculine; and;
secondly; because it was dark; strong; and stern。 I had it still
before me when I entered Hay; and slipped the letter into the
post…office; I saw it as I walked fast down…hill all the way home。
When I came to the stile; I stopped a minute; looked round and
listened; with an idea that a horse's hoofs might ring on the causeway
again; and that a rider in a cloak; and a Gytrash…like Newfoundland
dog; might be again apparent: I saw only the hedge and a pollard
willow before me; rising up still and straight to meet the
moonbeams; I heard only the faintest waft of wind roaming fitful among
the trees round Thornfield; a mile distant; and when I glanced down in
the direction of the murmur; my eye; traversing the hall…front; caught
a light kindling in a window: it reminded me that I was late; and I
hurried on。
I did not like re…entering Thornfield。 To pass its threshold was to
return to stagnation; to cross the silent hall; to ascend the darksome
staircase; to seek my own lonely little room; and then to meet
tranquil Mrs。 Fairfax; and spend the long winter evening with her; and
her only; was to quell wholly the faint excitement wakened by my
walk;… to slip again over my faculties the viewless fetters of an
uniform and too still existence; of an existence whose very privileges
of security and ease I was becoming incapable of appreciating。 What
good it would have done me at that time to have been tossed in the
storms of an uncertain struggling life; and to have been taught by
rough and bitter experience to long for the calm amidst which I now
repined! Yes; just as much good as it would do a man tired of
sitting still in a 'too easy chair' to take a long walk: and just as
natural was the wish to stir; under my circumstances; as it would be
under his。
I lingered at the gates; I lingered on the lawn; I paced
backwards and forwards on the pavement; the shutters of the glass door
were closed; I could not see into the interior; and both my eyes and
spirit seemed drawn from the gloomy house… from the grey hollow filled
with rayless cells; as it appeared to me… to that sky expanded
before me;… a blue sea absolved from taint of cloud; the moon
ascending it in solemn march; her orb seeming to look up as she left
the hill…tops; from behind which she had come; far and farther below
her; and aspired to the zenith; midnight dark in its fathomless
depth and measureless distance; and for those trembling stars that
followed her course; they made my heart tremble; my veins glow when
I viewed them。 Little things recall us to earth; the clock struck in
the hall; that sufficed; I turned from moon and stars; opened a
side…door; and went in。
The hall was not dark; nor yet was it lit; only by the high…hung
bronze lamp; a warm glow suffused both it and the lower steps of the
oak staircase。 This ruddy shine issued from the great dining…room;
whose two…leaved door stood open; and showed a genial fire in the
grate; glancing on marble hearth and brass fire…irons; and revealing
purple draperies and polished furniture; in the most pleasant
radiance。 It revealed; too; a group near the mantelpiece: I had
scarcely caught it; and scarcely become aware of a cheerful mingling
of voices; amongst which I seemed to distinguish
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