jane eyre(简·爱)-第31部分

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pleasant　at　any　time；　for　Thornfield　is　a　fine　old　hall；　rather　
neglected　of　late　years　perhaps；　but　still　it　is　a　respectable　
place；　yet　you　know　in　winter…time　one　feels　dreary　quite　alone　in　the　
best　quarters。　I　say　alone…　Leah　is　a　nice　girl　to　be　sure；　and　John　
and　his　wife　are　very　decent　people；　but　then　you　see　they　are　only　
servants；　and　one　can't　converse　with　them　on　terms　of　equality：　one　
must　keep　them　at　due　distance；　for　fear　of　losing　one's　authority。　
I'm　sure　last　winter　（it　was　a　very　severe　one；　if　you　recollect；　
and　when　it　did　not　snow；　it　rained　and　blew）；　not　a　creature　but　
the　butcher　and　postman　came　to　the　house；　from　November　till　
February；　and　I　really　got　quite　melancholy　with　sitting　night　after　
night　alone；　I　had　Leah　in　to　read　to　me　sometimes；　but　I　don't　
think　the　poor　girl　liked　the　task　much：　she　felt　it　confining。　In　
spring　and　summer　one　got　on　better：　sunshine　and　long　days　make　
such　a　difference；　and　then；　just　at　the　commencement　of　this　
autumn；　little　Adela　Varens　came　and　her　nurse：　a　child　makes　a　
house　alive　all　at　once；　and　now　you　are　here　I　shall　be　quite　gay。'　
　　　My　heart　really　warmed　to　the　worthy　lady　as　I　heard　her　talk；　
and　I　drew　my　chair　a　little　nearer　to　her；　and　expressed　my　sincere　
wish　that　she　might　find　my　company　as　agreeable　as　she　anticipated。　
　　　'But　I'll　not　keep　you　sitting　up　late　to…night；'　said　she；　'it　
is　on　the　stroke　of　twelve　now；　and　you　have　been　travelling　all　
day：　you　must　feel　tired。　If　you　have　got　your　feet　well　warmed；　
I'll　show　you　your　bedroom。　I've　had　the　room　next　to　mine　prepared　
for　you；　it　is　only　a　small　apartment；　but　I　thought　you　would　like　it　
better　than　one　of　the　large　front　chambers：　to　be　sure　they　have　
finer　furniture；　but　they　are　so　dreary　and　solitary；　I　never　sleep　in　
them　myself。'　
　　　I　thanked　her　for　her　considerate　choice；　and　as　I　really　felt　
fatigued　with　my　long　journey；　expressed　my　readiness　to　retire。　She　
took　her　candle；　and　I　followed　her　from　the　room。　First　she　went　to　
see　if　the　hall…door　was　fastened；　having　taken　the　key　from　the　lock；　
she　led　the　way　upstairs。　The　steps　and　banisters　were　of　oak；　the　
staircase　window　was　high　and　latticed；　both　it　and　the　long　gallery　
into　which　the　bedroom　doors　opened　looked　as　if　they　belonged　to　a　
church　rather　than　a　house。　A　very　chill　and　vault…like　air　pervaded　
the　stairs　and　gallery；　suggesting　cheerless　ideas　of　space　and　
solitude；　and　I　was　glad；　when　finally　ushered　into　my　chamber；　to　
find　it　of　small　dimensions；　and　furnished　in　ordinary；　modern　style。　
　　　When　Mrs。　Fairfax　had　bidden　me　a　kind　good…night；　and　I　had　
fastened　my　door；　gazed　leisurely　round；　and　in　some　measure　effaced　
the　eerie　impression　made　by　that　wide　hall；　that　dark　and　spacious　
staircase；　and　that　long；　cold　gallery；　by　the　livelier　aspect　of　my　
little　room；　I　remembered　that；　after　a　day　of　bodily　fatigue　and　
mental　anxiety；　I　was　now　at　last　in　safe　haven。　The　impulse　of　
gratitude　swelled　my　heart；　and　I　knelt　down　at　the　bedside；　and　
offered　up　thanks　where　thanks　were　due；　not　forgetting；　ere　I　rose；　
to　implore　aid　on　my　further　path；　and　the　power　of　meriting　the　
kindness　which　seemed　so　frankly　offered　me　before　it　was　earned。　My　
couch　had　no　thorns　in　it　that　night；　my　solitary　room　no　fears。　At　
once　weary　and　content；　I　slept　soon　and　soundly：　when　I　awoke　it　
was　broad　day。　
　　　The　chamber　looked　such　a　bright　little　place　to　me　as　the　sun　
shone　in　between　the　gay　blue　chintz　window　curtains；　showing　
papered　walls　and　a　carpeted　floor；　so　unlike　the　bare　planks　and　
stained　plaster　of　Lowood；　that　my　spirits　rose　at　the　view。　Externals　
have　a　great　effect　on　the　young：　I　thought　that　a　fairer　era　of　
life　was　beginning　for　me…　one　that　was　to　have　its　flowers　and　
pleasures；　as　well　as　its　thorns　and　toils。　My　faculties；　roused　by　
the　change　of　scene；　the　new　field　offered　to　hope；　seemed　all　
astir。　I　cannot　precisely　define　what　they　expected；　but　it　was　
something　pleasant：　not　perhaps　that　day　or　that　month；　but　at　an　
indefinite　future　period。　
　　　I　rose；　I　dressed　myself　with　care：　obliged　to　be　plain…　for　I　
had　no　article　of　attire　that　was　not　made　with　extreme　simplicity…　
I　was　still　by　nature　solicitous　to　be　neat。　It　was　not　my　habit　to　be　
disregardful　of　appearance　or　careless　of　the　impression　I　made：　on　
the　contrary；　I　ever　wished　to　look　as　well　as　I　could；　and　to　
please　as　much　as　my　want　of　beauty　would　permit。　I　sometimes　
regretted　that　I　was　not　handsomer；　I　sometimes　wished　to　have　rosy　
cheeks；　a　straight　nose；　and　small　cherry　mouth；　I　desired　to　be　tall；　
stately；　and　finely　developed　in　figure；　I　felt　it　a　misfortune　that　I　
was　so　little；　so　pale；　and　had　features　so　irregular　and　so　marked。　
And　why　had　I　these　aspirations　and　these　regrets？　It　would　be　
difficult　to　say：　I　could　not　then　distinctly　say　it　to　myself；　yet　
I　had　a　reason；　and　a　logical；　natural　reason　too。　However；　when　I　had　
brushed　my　hair　very　smooth；　and　put　on　my　black　frock…　which；　
Quakerlike　as　it　was；　at　least　had　the　merit　of　fitting　to　a　nicety…　
and　adjusted　my　clean　white　tucker；　I　thought　I　should　do　
respectably　enough　to　appear　before　Mrs。　Fairfax；　and　that　my　new　
pupil　would　not　at　least　recoil　from　me　with　antipathy。　Having　
opened　my　chamber　window；　and　seen　that　I　left　all　things　straight　and　
neat　on　the　toilet　table；　I　ventured　forth。　
　　　Traversing　the　long　and　matted　gallery；　I　descended　the　slippery　
steps　of　oak；　then　I　gained　the　hall：　I　halted　there　a　minute；　I　
looked　at　some　pictures　on　the　walls　（one；　I　remember；　represented　a　
grim　man　in　a　cuirass；　and　one　a　lady　with　powdered　hair　and　a　pearl　
necklace）；　at　a　bronze　lamp　pendent　from　the　ceiling；　at　a　great　clock　
whose　case　was　of　oak　curiously　carved；　and　ebon　black　with　time　and　
rubbing。　Everything　appeared　very　stately　and　imposing　to　me；　but　then　
I　was　so　little　accustomed　to　grandeur。　The　hall…door；　which　was　
half　of　glass；　stood　open；　I　stepped　over　the　threshold。　It　was　a　fine　
autumn　morning；　the　early　sun　shone　serenely　on　embrowned　groves　and　
still　green　fields；　advancing　on　to　the　lawn；　I　looked　up　and　surveyed　
the　front　of　the　mansion。　It　was　three　storeys　high；　of　proportions　
not　vast；　though　considerable：　a　gentleman's　manor…house；　not　a　
nobleman's　seat：　battlements　round　the　top　gave　it　a　picturesque　look。　
Its　grey　front　stood　out　well　from　the　background　of　a　rookery；　
whose　cawing　tenants　were　now　on　the　wing：　they　flew　over　the　lawn　and　
grounds　to　alight　in　a　great　meadow；　from　which　these　were　separated　
by　a　sunk　fence；　and　where　an　array　of　mighty　old　thorn　trees；　strong；　
knotty；　and　broad　as　oaks；　at　once　explained　the　etymology　of　the　
mansion's　designation。　Farther　off　were　hills：　not　so　lofty　as　those　
round　Lowood；　nor　so　craggy；　nor　so　like　barriers　of　separation　from　
the　living　world；　but　yet　quiet　and　lonely　hills　enough；　and　seeming　
to　embrace　Thornfield　with　a　seclusion　I　had　not　expected　to　find　
existent　so　near　the　stirring　locality　of　Millcote。　A　little　hamlet；　
whose　roofs　were　blent　with　trees