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she stoops to conquer-第6部分

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ent growing no better; I left it to mend itself。  Since that; I no more trouble my head about Hyder Ally; or Ally Cawn; than about Ally Croker。  Sir; my service to you。

HASTINGS。  So that with eating above stairs; and drinking below; with receiving your friends within; and amusing them without; you lead a good pleasant bustling life of it。

HARDCASTLE。  I do stir about a great deal; that's certain。  Half the differences of the parish are adjusted in this very parlour。

MARLOW。  (After drinking。)  And you have an argument in your cup; old gentleman; better than any in Westminster…hall。


HARDCASTLE。  Ay; young gentleman; that; and a little philosophy。

MARLOW。  (Aside。)  Well; this is the first time I ever heard of an innkeeper's philosophy。

HASTINGS。  So then; like an experienced general; you attack them on every quarter。  If you find their reason manageable; you attack it with your philosophy; if you find they have no reason; you attack them with this。  Here's your health; my philosopher。  'Drinks。'

HARDCASTLE。  Good; very good; thank you; ha! ha!  Your generalship puts me in mind of Prince Eugene; when he fought the Turks at the battle of Belgrade。  You shall hear。

MARLOW。  Instead of the battle of Belgrade; I believe it's almost time to talk about supper。  What has your philosophy got in the house for supper?

HARDCASTLE。  For supper; sir!  (Aside。)  Was ever such a request to a man in his own house?

MARLOW。  Yes; sir; supper; sir; I begin to feel an appetite。  I shall make devilish work to…night in the larder; I promise you。

HARDCASTLE。  (Aside。)  Such a brazen dog sure never my eyes beheld。  (To him。)  Why; really; sir; as for supper I can't well tell。  My Dorothy and the cook…maid settle these things between them。  I leave these kind of things entirely to them。

MARLOW。  You do; do you?

HARDCASTLE。  Entirely。  By the bye; I believe they are in actual consultation upon what's for supper this moment in the kitchen。

MARLOW。  Then I beg they'll admit me as one of their privy council。  It's a way I have got。  When I travel; I always chose to regulate my own supper。  Let the cook be called。  No offence I hope; sir。

HARDCASTLE。  O no; sir; none in the least; yet I don't know how; our Bridget; the cook…maid; is not very communicative upon these occasions。  Should we send for her; she might scold us all out of the house。

HASTINGS。  Let's see your list of the larder then。  I ask it as a favour。  I always match my appetite to my bill of fare。

MARLOW。  (To HARDCASTLE; who looks at them with surprise。)  Sir; he's very right; and it's my way too。

HARDCASTLE。  Sir; you have a right to command here。  Here; Roger; bring us the bill of fare for to…night's supper: I believe it's drawn outYour manner; Mr。 Hastings; puts me in mind of my uncle; Colonel Wallop。  It was a saying of his; that no man was sure of his supper till he had eaten it。

HASTINGS。  (Aside。)  All upon the high rope!  His uncle a colonel! we shall soon hear of his mother being a justice of the peace。  But let's hear the bill of fare。

MARLOW。  (Perusing。)  What's here?  For the first course; for the second course; for the dessert。  The devil; sir; do you think we have brought down a whole Joiners' Company; or the corporation of Bedford; to eat up such a supper?  Two or three little things; clean and comfortable; will do。

HASTINGS。  But let's hear it。

MARLOW。  (Reading。)  For the first course; at the top; a pig and prune sauce。

HASTINGS。  Damn your pig; I say。

MARLOW。  And damn your prune sauce; say I。

HARDCASTLE。  And yet; gentlemen; to men that are hungry; pig with prune sauce is very good eating。

MARLOW。  At the bottom; a calf's tongue and brains。

HASTINGS。  Let your brains be knocked out; my good sir; I don't like them。

MARLOW。  Or you may clap them on a plate by themselves。  I do。

HARDCASTLE。  (Aside。)  Their impudence confounds me。  (To them。)  Gentlemen; you are my guests; make what alterations you please。  Is there anything else you wish to retrench or alter; gentlemen?

MARLOW。  Item; a pork pie; a boiled rabbit and sausages; a Florentine; a shaking pudding; and a dish of tifftafftaffety cream。

HASTINGS。  Confound your made dishes; I shall be as much at a loss in this house as at a green and yellow dinner at the French ambassador's table。  I'm for plain eating。

HARDCASTLE。  I'm sorry; gentlemen; that I have nothing you like; but if there be anything you have a particular fancy to

MARLOW。  Why; really; sir; your bill of fare is so exquisite; that any one part of it is full as good as another。  Send us what you please。  So much for supper。  And now to see that our beds are aired; and properly taken care of。

HARDCASTLE。  I entreat you'll leave that to me。  You shall not stir a step。

MARLOW。  Leave that to you!  I protest; sir; you must excuse me; I always look to these things myself。

HARDCASTLE。  I must insist; sir; you'll make yourself easy on that head。

MARLOW。  You see I'm resolved on it。  (Aside。)  A very troublesome fellow this; as I ever met with。

HARDCASTLE。  Well; sir; I'm resolved at least to attend you。  (Aside。)  This may be modem modesty; but I never saw anything look so like old…fashioned impudence。  'Exeunt MARLOW and HARDCASTLE。'

HASTINGS。  (Alone。)  So I find this fellow's civilities begin to grow troublesome。  But who can be angry at those assiduities which are meant to please him?  Ha! what do I see?  Miss Neville; by all that's happy!


Enter MISS NEVILLE。


MISS NEVILLE。  My dear Hastings!  To what unexpected good fortune; to what accident; am I to ascribe this happy meeting?

HASTINGS。  Rather let me ask the same question; as I could never have hoped to meet my dearest Constance at an inn。

MISS NEVILLE。  An inn! sure you mistake: my aunt; my guardian; lives here。  What could induce you to think this house an inn?

HASTINGS。  My friend; Mr。 Marlow; with whom I came down; and I; have been sent here as to an inn; I assure you。  A young fellow; whom we accidentally met at a house hard by; directed us hither。

MISS NEVILLE。  Certainly it must be one of my hopeful cousin's tricks; of whom you have heard me talk so often; ha! ha! ha!

HASTINGS。  He whom your aunt intends for you? he of whom I have such just apprehensions?

MISS NEVILLE。  You have nothing to fear from him; I assure you。  You'd adore him; if you knew how heartily he despises me。  My aunt knows it too; and has undertaken to court me for him; and actually begins to think she has made a conquest。

HASTINGS。  Thou dear dissembler!  You must know; my Constance; I have just seized this happy opportunity of my friend's visit here to get admittance into the family。  The horses that carried us down are now fatigued with their journey; but they'll soon be refreshed; and then; if my dearest girl will trust in her faithful Hastings; we shall soon be landed in France; where even among slaves the laws of marriage are respected。

MISS NEVILLE。  I have often told you; that though ready to obey you; I yet should leave my little fortune behind with reluctance。  The greatest part of it was left me by my uncle; the India director; and chiefly consists in jewels。  I have been for some
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