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the twin hells(两个地狱)-第44部分

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officials; knowing my sorrows; took pity on me and did not insist upon my 

performing   any   kind   of   labor。   I   was   left   alone   with   my   grief。   None   but 

God and the angels knew what I suffered。 During the day I could think of 

nothing but my dying wife; in the night…time; when the angel Sleep closes 

the eyelids down to rest; none came to me; in my dreams the pale face of 

my dear one at home in the agonies of death was before me。 I would but 

drop sometimes into a dull slumber when I fancied that I could hear her 

calling   for   me;   and   thus   aroused;   it   seemed   to   me   that   I   must   burst   the 



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prison bars and go to her。 Knowing how much deeper and stronger; purer 

and sweeter the affections and sympathies of woman are than those of man; 

what   must   my  poor;   dead   wife   have   borne!   For   thirty  days   and   nights   I 

endured these torments。 At last the hour came when her sufferings ceased。 

Reader; doubtless you have lost a loved one。 If so; you were permitted to 

go down to the very brink of the River of Death; you were permitted to sit 

at the bedside and administer words of comfort and cheer。 Not so with me。 

My loved one passed away; her husband kept from her side by prison bolts 

and   bars。   And;   reader;   when   you   buried     your   loved   one;   kind   friends 

condoled with you; and in some degree assuaged your grief。 Not so with 

me。 When the news came that my wife was dead I sat down in my solitary 

cell   and   shed   my   tears   alone。   The   cup   that   was   placed   to   my   lips   was 

indeed a bitter one; and I drank to the dregs。 My wife was one of earth's 

purest   and   best。   We   lived   together   as   husband   and   wife   the   fifth   of   a 

century。 During those twenty years of married life my wife never uttered a 

cross word to her husband。 What greater eulogy could be pronounced! In 

the sunshine; and as certainly amid the storms of life; she was constant and 

true。   Because   of   her   goodness   of   heart   my   home   was   cloudless。   Many 

times during life have the storms and waves swept against my trembling 

barque; but in that little harbor called home no storms ever came。 Oh; how 

much a man loses when a good wife dies! So great was my distress that; 

had it not been for the strength imparted by a pitying God; I never could 

have passed through that long night of suffering。 Gone; never to return。 

     When      my   prison   days    were   over;   I  returned   to  my    old  home     in 

Atchison; but how changed it was。 My wife in her grave; my motherless 

children     among     strangers;    my   home     desolate。   As    I  pen   these   lines; 

surrounded by the fogs and mists of time; the question comes to me ever 

and anon; when the hour shall come for me to close my eyes to the scenes 

of earth; will I be permitted to greet my sainted wife in the beautiful city 

above? Yes。 I have the faith that the loving Galileanthe man of sorrows; 

who was acquainted with griefwill in that hour open the gates of pearl; 

and let me in。 Until that happy houruntil we meet in the land where none 

of life's storms ever reach; my darling wife; farewell! 



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                                   CHAPTER XIII 



                                         FREEDOM 

     To all things earthly there comes an end。 Sixteen long; dreary months 

of   imprisonment   finally   passed   away。   The   dark   clouds   of   sadness   and 

gloom that for so long hung above me now parted; and folding themselves 

together   rolled   away   in   the   distance。   The   large   iron   doors   swung   upon 

their hinges; and once more I breathed the air of freedom。 Drowsy Nature 

was   just   being   aroused   from   her   wintry   slumber   by   the   gentle   touch   of 

Spring;   as   I   began   life   anew。   On   that;   to   me;   eventful   morning   the   sky 

appeared brighter than I had ever beheld it before。 O liberty! No one can 

ever appreciate thy blessings save him upon whose limbs have pressed the 

cruel   fetters   of   slavery。   The   sunlight   of   freedom   falls   with   its   greatest 

refulgence upon him who   has been surrounded for   months and   years by 

the baleful mists and darkness of abject bondage。 The air of liberty comes 

doubly surcharged with the fragrance of the rarest flowers to him who has 

inhaled the feted breath of serfdom。 Grateful to God that my life had been 

spared;     retaining    all  the  ambition     of  former    years;    possessed     of  my 

manhood;   conscious   of   no   guilt;   I   felt   that;   under   the   guiding   hand   of 

Providence;   there   was   for   me   a   bright   future。   With   a   determination   to 

succeed;   that   can   never   be   satisfied   short   of   success;   I   returned   to   my 

home。   I   concluded   that   instead   of   going   to   some   distant   place;   among 

strangers; it was best for me to return to the locality where all knew of my 

misfortunes   and   the   true   causes   that   led   to   them。   On   my   arrival   at   the 

depot I was met by a multitude of friends。 By the reception that was given 

me no one; ignorant of the facts; would have for a moment imagined that I 

had but a few hours before vacated the cell of a criminal。 I pen these lines 

three months from the day when I began life anew; and during that time I 

have met with no one so base as to 〃snub〃 a man; who; having met with 

misfortune; is honestly endeavoring to regain what he lost。 

     Is   there   any   hope   for   the   ex…convict?   Is   it   possible   for   him   to   be 

clothed in the garments of respectability who once has been attired in the 

habiliments of disgrace? Can he ever be a man among men who has for a 

time been numbered with the debased of earth? To these questions; with 



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all the powers of my being; I answer; YES! I do not know how the outlook 

may appear to others who have met a similar misfortune; but as for myself 

I  can   truthfully  say  I   was   never  more  hopeful   in   my  life。 There  may   be 

storms in the future; obstacles to meet and overcome; but self reliant; and 

trusting in Him  who observes the struggles even of the worm; I hope to 

soon reach my proper place among men; and in the end reap the golden 

harvest of success。 The world is full of kind…hearted people who are ready 

to   help   those   who;   though   unfortunate;   are   willing   to   help   themselves。 

Scores   of  men   annually  go   out   from  the  〃Kansas   Hell;〃 having paid the 

penalties   of   their   crimes;  
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