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a modest proposal(一个小小的建议)-第3部分
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A Modest Proposal
many; as well as of the highest importance。
For first; as I have already observed; it would greatly lessen the
number of Papists; with whom we are yearly over…run; being the principal
breeders of the nation; as well as our most dangerous enemies; and who
stay at home on purpose with a design to deliver the kingdom to the
Pretender; hoping to take their advantage by the absence of so many good
Protestants; who have chosen rather to leave their country; than stay at
home and pay tithes against their conscience to an episcopal curate。
Secondly; The poorer tenants will have something valuable of their
own; which by law may be made liable to a distress; and help to pay their
landlord's rent; their corn and cattle being already seized; and money a
thing unknown。
Thirdly; Whereas the maintainance of an hundred thousand children;
from two years old; and upwards; cannot be computed at less than ten
shillings a piece per annum; the nation's stock will be thereby encreased
fifty thousand pounds per annum; besides the profit of a new dish;
introduced to the tables of all gentlemen of fortune in the kingdom; who
have any refinement in taste。 And the money will circulate among our
selves; the goods being entirely of our own growth and manufacture。
Fourthly; The constant breeders; besides the gain of eight shillings
sterling per annum by the sale of their children; will be rid of the charge of
maintaining them after the first year。
Fifthly; This food would likewise bring great custom to taverns; where
the vintners will certainly be so prudent as to procure the best receipts for
dressing it to perfection; and consequently have their houses frequented by
all the fine gentlemen; who justly value themselves upon their knowledge
in good eating; and a skilful cook; who understands how to oblige his
guests; will contrive to make it as expensive as they please。
Sixthly; This would be a great inducement to marriage; which all wise
nations have either encouraged by rewards; or enforced by laws and
penalties。 It would encrease the care and tenderness of mothers towards
their children; when they were sure of a settlement for life to the poor
babes; provided in some sort by the publick; to their annual profit instead
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A Modest Proposal
of expence。 We should soon see an honest emulation among the married
women; which of them could bring the fattest child to the market。 Men
would become as fond of their wives; during the time of their pregnancy;
as they are now of their mares in foal; their cows in calf; or sow when they
are ready to farrow; nor offer to beat or kick them (as is too frequent a
practice) for fear of a miscarriage。
Many other advantages might be enumerated。 For instance; the
addition of some thousand carcasses in our exportation of barrel'd beef:
the propagation of swine's flesh; and improvement in the art of making
good bacon; so much wanted among us by the great destruction of pigs;
too frequent at our tables; which are no way comparable in taste or
magnificence to a well grown; fat yearly child; which roasted whole will
make a considerable figure at a Lord Mayor's feast; or any other publick
entertainment。 But this; and many others; I omit; being studious of brevity。
Supposing that one thousand families in this city; would be constant
customers for infants flesh; besides others who might have it at merry
meetings; particularly at weddings and christenings; I compute that Dublin
would take off annually about twenty thousand carcasses; and the rest of
the kingdom (where probably they will be sold somewhat cheaper) the
remaining eighty thousand。
I can think of no one objection; that will possibly be raised against this
proposal; unless it should be urged; that the number of people will be
thereby much lessened in the kingdom。 This I freely own; and 'twas indeed
one principal design in offering it to the world。 I desire the reader will
observe; that I calculate my remedy for this one individual Kingdom of
Ireland; and for no other that ever was; is; or; I think; ever can be upon
Earth。 Therefore let no man talk to me of other expedients: Of taxing our
absentees at five shillings a pound: Of using neither cloaths; nor houshold
furniture; except what is of our own growth and manufacture: Of utterly
rejecting the materials and instruments that promote foreign luxury: Of
curing the expensiveness of pride; vanity; idleness; and gaming in our
women: Of introducing a vein of parsimony; prudence and temperance: Of
learning to love our country; wherein we differ even from Laplanders; and
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A Modest Proposal
the inhabitants of Topinamboo: Of quitting our animosities and factions;
nor acting any longer like the Jews; who were murdering one another at
the very moment their city was taken: Of being a little cautious not to sell
our country and consciences for nothing: Of teaching landlords to have at
least one degree of mercy towards their tenants。 Lastly; of putting a spirit
of honesty; industry; and skill into our shop…keepers; who; if a resolution
could now be taken to buy only our native goods; would immediately
unite to cheat and exact upon us in the price; the measure; and the
goodness; nor could ever yet be brought to make one fair proposal of just
dealing; though often and earnestly invited to it。
Therefore I repeat; let no man talk to me of these and the like
expedients; 'till he hath at least some glympse of hope; that there will ever
be some hearty and sincere attempt to put them into practice。
But; as to my self; having been wearied out for many years with
offering vain; idle; visionary thoughts; and at length utterly despairing of
success; I fortunately fell upon this proposal; which; as it is wholly new; so
it hath something solid and real; of no expence and little trouble; full in
our own power; and whereby
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