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a modest proposal(一个小小的建议)-第3部分

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                                         A Modest Proposal 



many; as well as of the highest importance。 

     For    first;  as  I  have    already    observed;     it  would     greatly   lessen    the 

number of Papists; with whom we are yearly over…run; being the principal 

breeders of the nation; as well as our most dangerous enemies; and who 

stay   at   home   on   purpose   with   a   design   to   deliver   the   kingdom   to   the 

Pretender; hoping to take their advantage by the absence of so many good 

Protestants;   who   have   chosen   rather   to   leave   their   country;   than   stay   at 

home and pay tithes against their conscience to an episcopal curate。 

     Secondly;   The   poorer   tenants   will   have   something   valuable   of   their 

own; which by law may be made liable to a distress; and help to pay their 

landlord's   rent;   their   corn   and   cattle   being   already   seized;   and   money   a 

thing unknown。 

     Thirdly; Whereas   the   maintainance   of   an   hundred   thousand   children; 

from   two   years   old;   and   upwards;   cannot   be   computed   at   less   than   ten 

shillings a piece per annum; the nation's stock will be thereby encreased 

fifty    thousand     pounds     per   annum;      besides    the   profit   of  a  new     dish; 

introduced to the tables of all gentlemen of fortune in the kingdom; who 

have   any   refinement   in   taste。   And   the   money   will   circulate   among   our 

selves; the goods being entirely of our own growth and manufacture。 

     Fourthly;   The   constant   breeders;   besides   the   gain   of   eight   shillings 

sterling per annum by the sale of their children; will be rid of the charge of 

maintaining them after the first year。 

     Fifthly; This food would likewise bring great custom to taverns; where 

the vintners will certainly be so prudent as to procure the best receipts for 

dressing it to perfection; and consequently have their houses frequented by 

all the fine gentlemen; who justly value themselves upon their knowledge 

in   good   eating;   and   a   skilful   cook;   who   understands   how   to   oblige   his 

guests; will contrive to make it as expensive as they please。 

     Sixthly; This would be a great inducement to marriage; which all wise 

nations     have    either   encouraged       by  rewards;     or   enforced     by  laws    and 

penalties。  It   would   encrease   the   care   and   tenderness   of   mothers   towards 

their   children;   when   they   were   sure   of   a   settlement   for   life   to   the   poor 

babes; provided in some sort by the publick; to their annual profit instead 



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                                         A Modest Proposal 



of expence。 We should soon see an honest emulation among the married 

women;   which   of   them  could   bring   the   fattest   child   to   the   market。   Men 

would become as fond of their wives; during the time of their pregnancy; 

as they are now of their mares in foal; their cows in calf; or sow when they 

are   ready  to   farrow;   nor offer to beat   or kick them  (as   is   too   frequent   a 

practice) for fear of a miscarriage。 

     Many       other   advantages       might     be   enumerated。       For   instance;     the 

addition   of   some   thousand   carcasses   in   our   exportation   of   barrel'd   beef: 

the   propagation   of   swine's   flesh;   and   improvement   in   the   art   of   making 

good bacon; so much wanted among us by the great destruction of pigs; 

too    frequent    at  our   tables;   which     are   no   way    comparable      in   taste  or 

magnificence to a well grown; fat yearly child; which roasted whole will 

make a considerable figure at a Lord Mayor's feast; or any other publick 

entertainment。 But this; and many others; I omit; being studious of brevity。 

     Supposing that one thousand   families   in   this   city;  would   be   constant 

customers   for   infants   flesh;   besides   others   who   might   have   it   at   merry 

meetings; particularly at weddings and christenings; I compute that Dublin 

would take off annually about twenty thousand carcasses; and the rest of 

the   kingdom   (where   probably   they   will   be   sold   somewhat   cheaper)   the 

remaining eighty thousand。 

     I can think of no one objection; that will possibly be raised against this 

proposal;   unless   it   should   be   urged;   that   the   number   of   people   will   be 

thereby much lessened in the kingdom。 This I freely own; and 'twas indeed 

one   principal   design   in   offering   it   to   the   world。   I   desire   the   reader   will 

observe;  that   I   calculate   my  remedy   for   this   one   individual   Kingdom  of 

Ireland; and for no other that ever was;  is; or; I think; ever can be   upon 

Earth。 Therefore let no man talk to me of other expedients: Of taxing our 

absentees at five shillings a pound: Of using neither cloaths; nor houshold 

furniture; except what is of our own growth and manufacture: Of utterly 

rejecting   the   materials   and   instruments   that   promote   foreign   luxury:   Of 

curing   the   expensiveness   of   pride;   vanity;   idleness;   and   gaming   in   our 

women: Of introducing a vein of parsimony; prudence and temperance: Of 

learning to love our country; wherein we differ even from Laplanders; and 



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                                         A Modest Proposal 



the inhabitants of Topinamboo: Of quitting our animosities and factions; 

nor acting any longer like the Jews; who were murdering one another at 

the very moment their city was taken: Of being a little cautious not to sell 

our country and consciences for nothing: Of teaching landlords to have at 

least one degree of mercy towards their tenants。 Lastly; of putting a spirit 

of honesty; industry; and skill into our shop…keepers; who; if a resolution 

could   now   be   taken   to   buy   only   our   native   goods;   would   immediately 

unite    to  cheat    and   exact    upon    us  in  the   price;   the   measure;     and   the 

goodness; nor could ever yet be brought to make one fair proposal of just 

dealing; though often and earnestly invited to it。 

     Therefore      I  repeat;    let  no  man     talk  to   me   of   these   and   the   like 

expedients; 'till he hath at least some glympse of hope; that there will ever 

be some hearty and sincere attempt to put them into practice。 

     But;   as   to   my   self;   having   been   wearied   out   for   many   years   with 

offering vain; idle; visionary thoughts; and at length utterly despairing of 

success; I fortunately fell upon this proposal; which; as it is wholly new; so 

it hath something solid and real; of no expence and little trouble; full in 

our    own    power;     and   whereby   
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