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a modest proposal(一个小小的建议)-第2部分

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may; at a year old; be offered in sale to the persons of quality and fortune; 

through      the  kingdom;      always     advising    the   mother     to  let  them    suck 

plentifully   in   the   last   month;   so   as   to   render   them   plump;   and   fat   for   a 

good table。 A child will make two dishes at an entertainment for friends; 

and   when   the   family   dines   alone;   the   fore   or   hind   quarter   will   make   a 

reasonable   dish;   and   seasoned   with   a   little   pepper   or   salt;   will   be   very 

good boiled on the fourth day; especially in winter。 

     I have reckoned upon a medium; that a child just born will weigh 12 

pounds; and in a solar year; if tolerably nursed; encreaseth to 28 pounds。 

     I grant this food will be somewhat dear; and therefore very proper for 

landlords; who; as they have already devoured most of the parents; seem 

to have the best title to the children。 

     Infant's flesh will be in season throughout the year; but more plentiful 

in March; and a little before and after; for we are told by a grave author; an 

eminent French physician; that fish being a prolifick dyet; there are more 

children born in Roman Catholick countries about nine months after Lent; 

the markets will be more glutted than usual; because the number of Popish 

infants; is at least three to one in this kingdom; and therefore it will have 



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                                         A Modest Proposal 



one other collateral advantage; by lessening the number of Papists among 

us。 

     I   have   already   computed   the   charge   of   nursing   a   beggar's   child   (in 

which list I reckon all cottagers; labourers; and four…fifths of the farmers) 

to   be   about   two   shillings   per   annum;   rags   included;   and   I   believe   no 

gentleman would repine to give ten shillings for the carcass of a good fat 

child; which; as I have said; will make four dishes of excellent nutritive 

meat; when he hath only some particular friend; or his own family to dine 

with   him。   Thus   the   squire   will   learn   to   be   a   good   landlord;   and   grow 

popular among his tenants; the mother will have eight shillings neat profit; 

and be fit for work till she produces another child。 

     Those who are more thrifty (as I must confess the times require) may 

flea    the   carcass;    the   skin    of  which;     artificially    dressed;    will   make 

admirable gloves for ladies; and summer boots for fine gentlemen。 

     As to our City of Dublin; shambles may be appointed for this purpose; 

in the most convenient parts of it; and butchers we may be assured will not 

be wanting;   although I   rather recommend   buying the   children alive;  and 

dressing them hot from the knife; as we do roasting pigs。 

     A very worthy person; a true lover of his country; and whose virtues I 

highly esteem; was lately pleased; in discoursing on this matter; to offer a 

refinement       upon    my    scheme。     He    said;   that  many     gentlemen       of  this 

kingdom; having of late destroyed their deer; he conceived that the want of 

venison might be well supply'd by the bodies of young lads and maidens; 

not exceeding fourteen years of age; nor under twelve; so great a number 

of both sexes in every country being now ready to starve for want of work 

and   service:   And   these   to   be   disposed   of   by   their   parents   if   alive;   or 

otherwise by their nearest relations。 But with due deference to so excellent 

a    friend;   and    so  deserving      a  patriot;   I  cannot     be   altogether     in  his 

sentiments;   for   as   to   the   males;   my American   acquaintance   assured   me 

from  frequent   experience;   that   their   flesh   was   generally   tough   and   lean; 

like    that   of  our    school…boys;      by   continual     exercise;    and    their   taste 

disagreeable; and to fatten them would not answer the charge。 Then as to 

the   females;   it   would;   I   think;  with   humble   submission;   be   a loss   to   the 



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                                        A Modest Proposal 



publick;     because     they   soon   would     become     breeders     themselves:     And 

besides; it is not improbable that some scrupulous people might be apt to 

censure      such   a   practice;   (although     indeed     very   unjustly)    as   a  little 

bordering   upon   cruelty;   which;   I   confess;   hath   always   been   with   me   the 

strongest objection against any project; how well soever intended。 

     But in order to justify my friend; he confessed; that this expedient was 

put    into  his  head    by   the  famous     Salmanaazor;      a  native    of  the  island 

Formosa; who came from thence to London; above twenty years ago; and 

in conversation told my friend; that in his country; when any young person 

happened to be put to death; the executioner sold the carcass to persons of 

quality; as a prime dainty; and that; in his time; the body of a plump girl of 

fifteen; who was crucified for an attempt to poison the Emperor; was sold 

to his imperial majesty's prime minister of state; and other great mandarins 

of   the   court   in   joints   from   the   gibbet;   at   four   hundred   crowns。   Neither 

indeed can I deny; that if the same use were made of several plump young 

girls in this town; who without one single groat to their fortunes; cannot 

stir abroad without a chair; and appear at a play…house and assemblies in 

foreign fineries which they never will pay for; the kingdom would not be 

the worse。 

     Some   persons   of   a   desponding   spirit   are  in   great   concern   about   that 

vast   number   of   poor   people;   who   are   aged;   diseased;   or   maimed;   and   I 

have been desired to employ my thoughts what course may be taken; to 

ease the nation of so grievous an incumbrance。 But I am not in the least 

pain upon that matter; because it is very well known; that they are every 

day dying; and rotting; by cold and famine; and filth; and vermin; as fast 

as   can   be   reasonably   expected。 And   as   to   the   young   labourers;   they   are 

now     in   almost    as   hopeful    a  condition。     They    cannot    get   work;    and 

consequently pine away from want of nourishment; to a degree; that if at 

any   time   they   are   accidentally   hired   to   common   labour;   they   have   not 

strength   to   perform   it;   and   thus   the   country   and   themselves   are   happily 

delivered from the evils to come。 

     I have too long digressed; and therefore shall return to my subject。 I 

think the advantages by the proposal which I have made are obvious and 



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                                         A Modest Proposal 
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