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3 eclipse月食-第89部分
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Edward sighed。 The hand over my mouth moved under my chin; and he pulled my face up until I had to
look at him。
“What now?”
“Nothing;” I mumbled。
He scrutinized my face for long moment while I tried unsuccessfully to twist away from his gaze。 His brow
furrowed; and his expression became horrified。
“Did I hurt your feelings?” he asked; shocked。
“No;” I lied。
So quickly that I wasn’t even sure how it happened; I was in his arms; my face cradled between his
shoulder and his hand; while his thumb stroked reassuringly against my cheek。
“You know why I have to say no;” he murmured。 “You know that I want you; too。”
“Do you?” I whispered; my voice full of doubt。
“Of course I do; you silly; beautiful; oversensitive girl。” He laughed once; and then his voice was bleak。
“Doesn’t everyone? I feel like there’s a line behind me; jockeying for position; waiting for me to make a big
enough mistake。 。 。 。 You’re too desirable for your own good。”
“Who’s being silly now?” I doubted if awkward; self…conscious; and inept added up to desirable in
anyone’s book。
“Do I have to send a petition around to get you to believe? Shall I tell you whose names would be on the
top of the list? You know a few of them; but some might surprise you。”
I shook my head against his chest; grimacing。 “You’re just trying to distract me。 Let’s get back to the
subject。”
He sighed。
“Tell me if I have anything wrong。” I tried to sound detached。 “Your demands are marriage” — I couldn’t
say the word without making a face — “paying my tuition; more time; and you wouldn’t mind if myvehicle
went a little faster。” I raised my eyebrows。 “Did I get everything? That’s a hefty list。”
“Only the first is a demand。” He seemed to be having a hard time keeping a straight face。 “The others are
merely requests。”
“And my lone; solitary little demand is —”
“Demand?” he interrupted; suddenly serious again。
“Yes; demand。”
His eyes narrowed。
“Getting married is a stretch for me。 I’m not giving in unless I get something in return。”
He leaned down to whisper in my ear。 “No;” he murmured silkily。 “It’s not possible now。 Later; when
you’re less breakable。 Be patient; Bella。”
I tried to keep my voice firm and reasonable。 “But that’s the problem。 It won’t be the same when I’m less
breakable。 I won’t be the same! I don’t know who I’ll be then。”
“You’ll still be Bella;” he promised。
I frowned。 “If I’m so far gone that I’d want to kill Charlie — that I’d drink Jacob’s blood or Angela’s if I
got the chance — how can that be true?”
“It will pass。 And I doubt you’ll want to drink the dog’s blood。” He pretended to shudder at the thought。
“Even as a newborn; you’ll have better taste than that。”
I ignored his attempt to sidetrack me。 “But that will always be what I want most; won’t it?” I challenged。
“Blood; blood; and more blood!”
“The fact that you are still alive is proof that that is not true;” he pointed out。
“Over eighty years later;” I reminded him。 “What I meant was physically; though。 Intellectually; I know I’ll
be able to be myself 。 。 。 after a while。 But just purely physically — I will always be thirsty; more than anything
else。”
He didn’t answer。
“So I will be different;” I concluded unopposed。 “Because right now; physically; there’s nothing I want
more than you。 More than food or water or oxygen。 Intellectually; I have my priorities in a slightly more
sensible order。 But physically 。 。 。”
I twisted my head to kiss the palm of his hand。
He took a deep breath。 I was surprised that it sounded a little unsteady。
“Bella; I could kill you;” he whispered。
“I don’t think you could。”
Edward’s eyes tightened。 He lifted his hand from my face and reached quickly behind himself for
something I couldn’t see。 There was a muffled snapping sound; and the bed quivered beneath us。
Something dark was in his hand; he held it up for my curious examination。 It was a metal flower; one of the
roses that adorned the wrought iron posts and canopy of his bed frame。 His hand closed for a brief second;
his fingers contracting gently; and then it opened again。
Without a word; he offered me the crushed; uneven lump of black metal。 It was a cast of the inside of his
hand; like a piece of play dough squeezed in a child’s fist。 A half…second passed; and the shape crumbled into
black sand in his palm。
I glared。 “That’s not what I meant。 I already know how strong you are。 You didn’t have to break the
furniture。”
“What did you mean then?” he asked in a dark voice; tossing the handful of iron sand to the corner of the
room; it hit the wall with a sound like rain。
His eyes were intent on my face as I struggled to explain。
“Obviously not that you aren’t physically able hurt me; if you wanted to 。 。 。 More that; you don’t want to
hurt me 。 。 。 so much so that I don’t think that you ever could。”
He started shaking his head before I was done。
“It might not work like that; Bella。”
“Might;” I scoffed。 “You have no more idea what you’re talking about than I do。”
“Exactly。 Do you imagine I would ever take that kind of risk with you?”
I stared into his eyes for a long minute。 There was no sign of compromise; no hint of indecision in them。
“Please;” I finally whispered; hopeless。 “It’s all I want。 Please。” I closed my eyes in defeat; waiting for the
quick and final no。
But he didn’t answer immediately。 I hesitated in disbelief; stunned to hear that his breathing was uneven
again。
I opened my eyes; and his face was torn。
“Please?” I whispered again; my heartbeat picking up speed。 My words tumbled out as I rushed to take
advantage of the sudden uncertainty in his eyes。 “You don’t have to make me any guarantees。 If it doesn’t
work out right; well; then that’s that。 Just let us try 。 。 。 only try。 And I’ll give you what you want;” I promised
rashly。 “I’ll marry you。 I’ll let you pay for Dartmouth; and I won’t complain about the bribe to get me in。 You
can even buy me a fast car if that makes you happy! Just 。 。 。 please。”
His icy arms tightened around me; and his lips were at my ear; his cool breath made me shiver。 “Thisis
unbearable。 So many things I’ve wanted to give you — and this is what you decide to demand。 Do you have
any idea how painful it is; trying to refuse you when you plead with me this way?”
“Then don’t refuse;” I suggested breathlessly。
He didn’t respond。
“Please;” I tried again。
“Bella 。 。 。” He shook his head slowly; but it didn’t feel like a denial as his face; his lips; moved back and
forth across my throat。 It felt more like surrender。 My heart; racing already; spluttered frantically。
Again; I took what advantage I could。 When his face turned toward mine with the slow movement of his
indecision; I twisted quickly in his arms till my lips reach
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