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3 eclipse月食-第87部分
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behind to protect La Push — though they were just children; both of them only thirteen。 Still; Charlie would be
safer than anyone left in Forks。
I had done all that I could do。 I tried to accept that; and put the things that were outside of my control out
of my head; for tonight at least。 One way or another; this would all be over in forty…eight hours。 The thought
was almost comforting。
Edward had requested that I relax; and I was going to do my best。
“For this one night; could we try to forget everything besides just you and me?” he’d pleaded; unleashing
the full force of his eyes on me。 “It seems like I can never get enough time like that。 I need to be with you。 Just
you。”
That was not a hard request to agree to; though I knew that forgetting my fears would be much easier said
than done。 Other matters were on my mind now; knowing that we had this night to be alone; and that would
help。
There were some things that had changed。
For instance; I was ready。
I was ready to join his family and his world。 The fear and guilt and anguish I was feeling now had taught
me that much。 I’d had a chance to concentrate on this — as I’d gazed at the moon through the clouds and
rested against a werewolf — and I knew I would not panic again。 The next time something came at us; I
would be ready。 An asset; not a liability。 He would never have to make the choice between me and his family
again。 We would be partners; like Alice and Jasper。 Next time; I would do my part。
I would wait for the sword to be removed from over my head; so that Edward would be satisfied。 But it
wasn’t necessary。 I was ready。
There was only one missing piece。
One piece; because there were some things that had not changed; and that included the desperate way I
loved him。 I’d had plenty of time to think through the ramifications of Jasper and Emmett’s bet — to figure out
the things I was willing to lose with my humanity; and the part that I was not willing to give up。 I knew which
human experience I was going to insist on before I became inhuman。
So we had some things to work out tonight。 After everything I’d seen in the past two years; I didn’t
believe in the word impossible anymore。 It was going to take more than that to stop me now。
Okay; well; honestly; it was probably going to be much more complicated than that。 But I was going to
try。
As decided as I was; I wasn’t surprised that I still felt nervous as I drove down the long path to his house
— I didn’t know how to do what I was trying to do; and that guaranteed me some serious jitters。 He sat in the
passenger seat; fighting a smile at my slow pace。 I was surprised that he hadn’t insisted on taking the wheel;
but tonight he seemed content to go at my speed。
It was after dark when we reached the house。 In spite of that; the meadow was bright in the light shining
from every window。
As soon as I cut the engine he was at my door; opening it for me。 He lifted me from the cab with one arm;
slinging my bag out of the truck bed and over his shoulder with the other。 His lips found mine as I heard him
kick the truck’s door shut behind me。
Without breaking the kiss; he swung me up so that I was cradled in his arms and carried me into the
house。
Was the front door already open? I didn’t know。 We were inside; though; and I was dizzy。 I had to
remind myself to breathe。
This kissing did not frighten me。 It wasn’t like before when I could feel the fear and panic leaking through
his control。 His lips were not anxious; but enthusiastic now — he seemed as thrilled as I was that we had
tonight to concentrate on being together。 He continued to kiss me for several minutes; standing there in the
entry; he seemed less guarded than usual; his mouth cold and urgent on mine。
I began to feel cautiously optimistic。 Perhaps getting what I wanted would not be as difficult as I’d
expected it to be。
No; of course it was going to be just exactly that difficult。
With a low chuckle; he pulled me away; holding me at arm’s length。
“Welcome home;” he said; his eyes liquid and warm。
“That sounds nice;” I said; breathless。
He set me gently on my feet。 I wrapped both my arms around him; refusing to allow any space between
us。
“I have something for you;” he said; his tone conversational。
“Oh?”
“Your hand…me…down; remember? You said that was allowable。”
“Oh; that’s right。 I guess I did say that。”
He chuckled at my reluctance。
“It’s up in my room。 Shall I go get it?”
His bedroom? “Sure;” I agreed; feeling quite devious as I wound my fingers through his。 “Let’s go。”
He must have been eager to give me my non…present; because human velocity was not fast enough for
him。 He scooped me up again and nearly flew up the stairs to his room。 He set me down at the door; and
darted into his closet。
He was back before I’d taken a step; but I ignored him and went to the huge gold bed; plopping down on
the edge and then sliding to the center。 I curled up in a ball; my arms wrapped around my knees。
“Okay;” I grumbled。 Now that I was where I wanted to be; I could afford a little reluctance。 “Let me have
it。”
Edward laughed。
He climbed onto the bed to sit next to me; and my heart thumped unevenly。 Hopefully he would write that
off as some reaction to him giving me presents。
“A hand…me…down;” he reminded me sternly。 He pulled my left wrist away from my leg; and touched the
silver bracelet for just a moment。 Then he gave me my arm back。
I examined it cautiously。 On the opposite side of the chain from the wolf; there now hung a brilliant heart…
shaped crystal。 It was cut in a million facets; so that even in the subdued light shining from the lamp; it
sparkled。 I inhaled in a low gasp。
“It was my mother’s。” He shrugged deprecatingly。 “I inherited quite a few baubles like this。 I’ve given
some to Esme and Alice both。 So; clearly; this is not a big deal in any way。”
I smiled ruefully at his assurance。
“But I thought it was a good representation;” he continued。 “It’s hard and cold。” He laughed。 “And it
throws rainbows in the sunlight。”
“You forgot the most important similarity;” I murmured。 “It’s beautiful。”
“My heart is just as silent;” he mused。 “And it; too; is yours。”
I twisted my wrist so the heart would glimmer。 “Thank you。 For both。”
“No; thank you。 It’s a relief to have you accept a gift so easily。 Good practice for you; too。” He grinned;
flashing his teeth。
I leaned into him; ducking my head under his arm and cuddling into his side。 It probably felt similar to
snuggling with Michelangelo’s David; except that this perfect marble creature wrapped his arms around me to
pull me closer。
It seemed like a good place to start。
“Can we discuss something? I’d appreciate it if you could begin by being open…minded。”
He hesitated for a moment。 “I’ll give it my best effort;” he agreed; cautious now。
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