east lynne-第104部分

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amma。　Papa　said　I　was　never　to　be　called　Isabel　again；　but　Lucy。　Isabel　was　mamma's　name。〃

〃How　do　you　know　papa　said　it？〃　dreamily　returned　Lady　Isabel。

〃I　heard　him。　He　said　it　to　Joyce；　and　Joyce　told　the　servants。　I　put　only　Lucy　to　my　copies。　I　did　put　Isabel　Lucy；　but　papa　saw　it　one　day；　and　he　drew　his　pencil　through　Isabel；　and　told　me　to　show　it　to　Miss　Manning。　After　that；　Miss　Manning　let　me　put　nothing　but　Lucy。　I　asked　her　why；　and　she　told　me　papa　preferred　the　name；　and　that　I　was　not　to　ask　questions。〃

She　could　not　well　stop　the　child；　but　every　word　was　rending　her　heart。

〃Lady　Isabel　was　our　very；　very　own　mamma；〃　pursued　Lucy。　〃This　mamma　is　not。〃

〃Do　you　love　this　one　as　you　did　the　other？〃　breathed　Lady　Isabel。

〃Oh；　I　loved　mammaI　loved　mamma！〃　uttered　Lucy；　clasping　her　hands。　〃But　its　all　over。　Wilson　said　we　must　not　love　her　any　longer；　and　Aunt　Cornelia　said　it。　Wilson　said；　if　she　loved　us　she　would　not　have　gone　away　from　us。〃

〃Wilson　said　so？〃　resentfully　spoke　Lady　Isabel。

〃She　said　she　need　not　let　that　man　kidnap　her。　I　am　afraid　he　beat　her；　for　she　died。　I　lie　in　my　bed　at　night；　and　wonder　whether　he　did　beat　her；　and　what　made　her　die。　It　was　after　she　died　that　our　new　mamma　came　home。　Papa　said　that　she　was　to　be　our　mamma　in　place　of　Lady　Isabel　and　we　were　to　love　her　dearly。〃

〃/Do/　you　love　her？〃　almost　passionately　asked　Lady　Isabel。

Lucy　shook　her　head。

〃Not　as　I　loved　mamma。〃

Joyce　entered　to　show　the　way　to　the　schoolroom；　and　they　followed　her　upstairs。　As　Lady　Isabel　stood　at　the　window；　she　saw　Mr。　Carlyle　depart　on　foot　on　his　way　to　the　office。　Barbara　was　with　him；　hanging　fondly　on　his　arm；　about　to　accompany　him　to　the　park　gates。　So　had　/she/　fondly　hung；　so　had　/she/　accompanied　him；　in　the　days　gone　forever。

Barbara　came　into　the　schoolroom　in　the　course　of　the　morning；　and　entered　upon　the　subject　of　their　studies；　the　different　allotted　hours；　some　to　play；　some　to　work。　She　spoke　in　a　courteous　but　decided　tone；　showing　that　she　was　the　unmistakable　mistress　of　the　house　and　children；　and　meant　to　be。　Never　had　Lady　Isabel　felt　her　position　so　keenlynever　did　it　so　gall　and　fret　her　spirit；　but　she　bowed　to　meek　obedience。　A　hundred　times　that　day　did　she　yearn　to　hold　the　children　to　her　heart；　and　a　hundred　times　she　had　to　repress　the　longing。

In　a　soft；　damask　dress；　not　unlike　the　color　of　the　walls　from　which　the　room　took　its　name；　a　cap　of　Honiton　lace　shading　her　delicate　features；　sat　Mrs。　Hare。　The　justice　was　in　London　with　Squire　Pinner；　and　Barbara　had　gone　to　the　Grove　and　brought　her　mamma　away　in　triumph。　It　was　evening　now；　and　Mrs。　Hare　was　paying　a　visit　to　the　gray　parlor。　Miss　Carlyle　had　been　dining　there；　and　Lady　Isabel；　under　plea　of　a　violent　headache；　had　begged　to　decline　the　invitation　to　take　tea　in　the　drawing…room；　for　she　feared　the　sharp　eyes　of　Miss　Carlyle。　Barbara；　upon　leaving　the　dessert…table；　went　to　the　nursery；　as　usual；　to　her　baby；　and　Mrs。　Hare　took　the　opportunity　to　go　and　sit　a　few　minutes　with　the　governessshe　feared　the　governess　must　be　very　lonely。　Miss　Carlyle；　scorning　usage　and　ceremony；　had　remained　in　the　dining…room　with　Mr。　Carlyle；　a　lecture　for　him；　upon　some　defalcation　or　other　most　probably　in　store。　Lady　Isabel　was　alone。　Lucy　had　gone　to　keep　a　birthday　in　the　neighborhood；　and　William　was　in　the　nursery。　Mrs。　Hare　found　her　in　a　sad　attitude；　her　hands　pressed　upon　her　temples。　She　had　not　yet　made　acquaintance　with　her　beyond　a　minute's　formal　introduction。

〃I　am　sorry　to　hear　you　are　not　well；　this　evening；〃　she　gently　said。

〃Thank　you。　My　head　aches　much〃which　was　no　false　plea。

〃I　fear　you　must　feel　your　solitude　irksome。　It　is　dull　for　you　to　be　here　all　alone。〃

〃I　am　so　used　to　solitude。〃

Mrs。　Hare　sat　down；　and　gazed　with　sympathy　at　the　young；　though　somewhat　strange…looking　woman　before　her。　She　detected　the　signs　of　mental　suffering　on　her　face。

〃You　have　seen　sorrow；〃　she　uttered；　bending　forward；　and　speaking　with　the　utmost　sweetness。

〃Oh；　great　sorrow！〃　burst　from　Lady　Isabel；　for　her　wretched　fate　was　very　palpable　to　her　mind　that　evening；　and　the　tone　of　sympathy　rendered　it　nearly　irrepressible。

〃My　daughter　tells　me　that　you　have　lost　your　children；　and　you　have　lost　your　fortune　and　position。　Indeed　I　feel　for　you。　I　wish　I　could　comfort　you！〃

This　did　not　decrease　her　anguish。　She　completely　lost　all　self　control；　and　a　gush　of　tears　fell　from　her　eyes。

〃Don't　pity　me！　Don't　pity　me　dear　Mrs。　Hare！　Indeed；　it　only　makes　endurance　harder。　Some　of　us；〃　she　added；　looking　up；　with　a　sickly　smile；　〃are　born　to　sorrow。〃

〃We　are　all　born　to　it；〃　cried　Mrs。　Hare。　〃I；　in　truth；　have　cause　to　say　so。　Oh；　you　know　not　what　my　position　has　beenthe　terrible　weight　of　grief　that　I　have　to　bear。　For　many　years；　I　can　truly　say　that　I　have　not　known　one　completely　happy　moment。〃

〃All　do　not　have　to　bear　this　killing　sorrow；〃　said　Lady　Isabel。

〃Rely　upon　it；　sorrow　of　some　nature　does　sooner　or　later　come　to　all。　In　the　brightest　apparent　lot　on　earth；　dark　days　must　mix。　Not　that　there　is　a　doubt　but　that　it　falls　unequally。　Some；　as　you　observe；　seem　born　to　it；　for　it　clings　to　them　all　their　days；　others　are　more　favoredas　we　reckon　favor。　Perhaps　this　great　amount　of　trouble　is　no　more　than　is　necessary　to　take　us　to　Heaven。　You　know　the　saying；　'Adversity　hardens　the　heart；　or　it　opens　it　to　Paradise。'　It　may　be　that　our　hearts　continue　so　hard；　that　the　long…continued　life's　trouble　is　requisite　to　soften　them。　My　dear；〃　Mrs。　Hare　added；　in　a　lower　tone；　while　the　tears　glistened　on　her　pale　cheeks；　〃there　will　be　a　blessed　rest　for　the　weary；　when　this　toilsome　life　is　ended；　let　us　find　comfort　in　that　thought。〃

〃Ay！　Ay！〃　murmured　Lady　Isabel。　〃It　is　all　that　is　left　to　me。〃

〃You　are　young　to　have　acquired　so　much　experience　of　sorrow。〃

〃We　cannot　estimate　sorrow　by　years。　We　may　live　a　whole　lifetime　of　it　in　a　single　hour。　But　we　generally　bring　ill　fate　upon　ourselves；〃　she　continued；　in　a　desperation　of　remorse；　〃as　our　conduct　is；　so　will　our　happiness　or　misery　be。〃

〃Not　always；〃　sighed　Mrs。　Hare。　〃Sorrow；　I　grant　you；　does　come　all　too　frequently；　from　ill…doing；　but　the　worst　is；　the　consequences　of　this　ill…doing　fall　upon　the　innocent　as　well　as　upon　the　guilty。　A　husband's　errors　will　involve　his　innocent　wife；　parent's　sins　fall　upon　their　children；　children　will　break　the　hearts　of　their　parents。　I　can　truly　say；　speaking　in　all　humble　submission；　that　I　am　unconscious　of　having　deserved　the　great　sorrow　which　came　upon　me；　that　no　act　of　mine　invited　it　on；　but　though　it　has　nearly　killed　me；　I　entertain　no　doubt　that　it　is　lined　with　mercy；　if　I　could　only　bring　my　weak　rebellious　heart　to　look　for　it。　You；　I　feel　sure；　have　been　equally　undeserving。〃

/She？/　Mrs。　Hare　marked　not　the　flush　of　shame；　the　drooping　of　the　eyelids。

〃You　have　lost　your　little　ones；〃　Mrs。　Hare　resumed。　〃That　is　grief　great　grief；　I　would　not　underrate　it；　but；　believe　me；　it　is　as　/nothing/　compared　to　the　awful　fate；　should　it　ever　fall　upon　you；　of　finding　your　children　grow　up　and　become　that　which