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lavengro-第96部分
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Who will know; after I am dead; or bitchadey pawdel; that I was
once the beauty of the world; or that you Jasper were … '
'The best man in England of my inches。 That's true; Tawno …
however; here's our brother will perhaps let the world know
something about us。'
'Not he;' said the other; with a sigh; 'he'll have quite enough to
do in writing his own lils; and telling the world how handsome and
clever he was; and who can blame him? Not I。 If I could write
lils; every word should be about myself and my own tacho Rommanis …
my own lawful wedded wife; which is the same thing。 I tell you
what; brother; I once heard a wise man say in Brummagem; that
〃there is nothing like blowing one's own horn;〃 which I conceive to
be much the same thing as writing one's own lil。'
After a little more conversation; Mr。 Petulengro arose; and
motioned me to follow him。 'Only eighteenpence in the world;
brother?' said he; as we walked together。
'Nothing more; I assure you。 How came you to ask me how much money
I had?'
'Because there was something in your look; brother; something very
much resembling that which a person showeth who does not carry much
money in his pocket。 I was looking at my own face this morning in
my wife's looking…glass … I did not look as you do; brother。'
'I believe your sole motive for inquiring;' said I; 'was to have an
opportunity of venting a foolish boast; and to let me know that you
were in possession of fifty pounds。'
'What is the use of having money unless you let people know you
have it?' said Mr。 Petulengro。 'It is not every one can read
faces; brother; and; unless you knew I had money; how could you ask
me to lend you any?'
'I am not going to ask you to lend me any。'
'Then you may have it without asking; as I said before; I have
fifty pounds; all lawfully…earnt money; got by fighting in the ring
… I will lend you that; brother。'
'You are very kind;' said I; 'but I will not take it。'
'Then the half of it?'
'Nor the half of it; but it is getting towards evening; I must go
back to the Great City。'
'And what will you do in the Boro Foros?'
'I know not;' said I。
'Earn money?
'If I can。'
'And if you can't?'
'Starve!'
'You look ill; brother;' said Mr。 Petulengro。
'I do not feel well; the Great City does not agree with me。 Should
I be so fortunate as to earn some money; I would leave the Big
City; and take to the woods and fields。'
'You may do that; brother;' said Mr。 Petulengro; 'whether you have
money or not。 Our tents and horses are on the other side of yonder
wooded hill; come and stay with us; we shall all be glad of your
company; but more especially myself and my wife Pakomovna。'
'What hill is that?' I demanded。
And then Mr。 Petulengro told me the name of the hill。 'We shall
stay on t'other side of the hill a fortnight;' he continued; 'and;
as you are fond of lil…writing; you may employ yourself profitably
whilst there。 You can write the lil of him whose dock gallops down
that hill every night; even as the living man was wont to do long
ago。'
'Who was he?' I demanded。
'Jemmy Abershaw;' said Mr。 Petulengro; 'one of those whom we call
Boro drom engroes; and the gorgios highway…men。 I once heard a rye
say that the life of that man would fetch much money; so come to
the other side of the hill; and write the lil in the tent of Jasper
and his wife Pakomovna。'
At first I felt inclined to accept the invitation of Mr。
Petulengro; a little consideration; however; determined me to
decline it。 I had always been on excellent terms with Mr。
Petulengro; but I reflected that people might be excellent friends
when they met occasionally in the street; or on the heath; or in
the wood; but that these very people when living together in a
house; to say nothing of a tent; might quarrel。 I reflected;
moreover; that Mr。 Petulengro had a wife。 I had always; it is
true; been a great favourite with Mrs。 Petulengro; who had
frequently been loud in her commendation of the young rye; as she
called me; and his turn of conversation; but this was at a time
when I stood in need of nothing; lived under my parents' roof; and
only visited at the tents to divert and to be diverted。 The times
were altered; and I was by no means certain that Mrs。 Petulengro;
when she should discover that I was in need both of shelter and
subsistence; might not alter her opinion both with respect to the
individual and what he said … stigmatising my conversation as saucy
discourse; and myself as a scurvy companion; and that she might
bring over her husband to her own way of thinking; provided;
indeed; he should need any conducting。 I therefore; though without
declaring my reasons; declined the offer of Mr。 Petulengro; and
presently; after shaking him by the hand; bent again my course
towards the Great City。
I crossed the river at a bridge considerably above that hight of
London; for; not being acquainted with the way; I missed the
turning which should have brought me to the latter。 Suddenly I
found myself in a street of which I had some recollection; and
mechanically stopped before the window of a shop at which various
publications were exposed; it was that of the bookseller to whom I
had last applied in the hope of selling my ballads or Ab Gwilym;
and who had given me hopes that; in the event of my writing a
decent novel; or a tale; he would prove a purchaser。 As I stood
listlessly looking at the window; and the publications which it
contained; I observed a paper affixed to the glass by wafers with
something written upon it。 I drew yet nearer for the purpose of
inspecting it; the writing was in a fair round hand … 'A Novel or
Tale is much wanted;' was what was written。
CHAPTER LV
Bread and water … Pair play … Fashion … Colonel B… … Joseph Sell …
The kindly glow … Easiest manner imaginable。
'I MUST do something;' said I; as I sat that night in my lonely
apartment; with some bread and a pitcher of water before me。
Thereupon taking some of the bread; and eating it; I considered
what I was to do。 'I have no idea what I am to do;' said I; as I
stretched my hand towards the pitcher; 'unless (and here I took a
considerable draught) I write a tale or a novel … That bookseller;'
I continued; speaking to myself; 'is certainly much in need of a
tale or a novel; otherwise he would not advertise for one。 Suppose
I write one; I appear to have no other chance of extricating myself
from my present difficulties; surely it was Fate that conducted me
to his window。
'I will do it;' said I; as I struck my hand against the table; 'I
will do it。' Suddenly a heavy cloud of despondency came over me。
Could I do it? Had I the imagination requisite to write a tale or
a novel? 'Yes; yes;' said I; as I struck my
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