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lavengro-第87部分
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clever of all our moral writers … his philosophy … '
'I will have nothing to do with him;' said I。
'Wherefore?' said the Armenian。
'There is an old proverb;' said I; '〃that a burnt child avoids the
fire。〃 I have burnt my hands sufficiently with attempting to
translate philosophy; to make me cautious of venturing upon it
again'; and then I told the Armenian how I had been persuaded by
the publisher to translate his philosophy into German; and what
sorry thanks I had received; 'And who knows;' said I; 'but the
attempt to translate Armenian philosophy into English might he
attended with yet more disagreeable consequences?'
The Armenian smiled。 'You would find me very different from the
publisher。'
'In many points I have no doubt I should;' I replied; 'but at the
present moment I feel like a bird which has escaped from a cage;
and; though hungry; feels no disposition to return。 Of what nation
is the dark man below stairs; whom I saw writing at the desk?'
'He is a Moldave;' said the Armenian; 'the dog (and here his eyes
sparkled) deserves to be crucified; he is continually making
mistakes。'
The Armenian again renewed his proposition about Z…; which I again
refused; as I felt but little inclination to place myself beneath
the jurisdiction of a person who was in the habit of cuffing those
whom he employed; when they made mistakes。 I presently took my
departure; not; however; before I had received from the Armenian a
pressing invitation to call upon him whenever I should feel
disposed。
CHAPTER XLVIII
What to do … Strong enough … Fame and profit … Alliterative euphony
… Excellent fellow … Listen to me … A plan … Bagnigge Wells。
ANXIOUS thoughts frequently disturbed me at this time with respect
to what I was to do; and how support myself in the Great City。 My
future prospects were gloomy enough; and I looked forward and
feared; sometimes I felt half disposed to accept the offer of the
Armenian; and to commence forthwith; under his superintendence; the
translation of the Haik Esop; but the remembrance of the cuffs
which I had seen him bestow upon the Moldavian; when glancing over
his shoulder into the ledger or whatever it was on which he was
employed; immediately drove the inclination from my mind。 I could
not support the idea of the possibility of his staring over my
shoulder upon my translation of the Haik Esop; and; dissatisfied
with my attempts; treating me as he had treated the Moldavian
clerk; placing myself in a position which exposed me to such
treatment would indeed be plunging into the fire after escaping
from the frying…pan。 The publisher; insolent and overbearing as he
was; whatever he might have wished or thought; had never lifted his
hand against me; or told me that I merited crucifixion。
What was I to do? turn porter? I was strong; but there was
something besides strength required to ply the trade of a porter …
a mind of a particularly phlegmatic temperament; which I did not
possess。 What should I do? enlist as a soldier? I was tall enough;
but something besides height is required to make a man play with
credit the part of soldier; I mean a private one … a spirit; if
spirit it can be called; which will not only enable a man to submit
with patience to insolence and abuse; and even to cuffs and kicks;
but occasionally to the lash。 I felt that I was not qualified to
be a soldier; at least a private one; far better be a drudge to the
most ferocious of publishers; editing Newgate lives; and writing in
eighteenpenny reviews … better to translate the Haik Esop; under
the superintendence of ten Armenians; than be a private soldier in
the English service; I did not decide rashly … I knew something of
soldiering。 What should I do? I thought that I would make a last
and desperate attempt to dispose of the ballads and of Ab Gwilym。
I had still an idea that; provided I could persuade any spirited
publisher to give these translations to the world; I should acquire
both considerable fame and profit; not; perhaps; a world…embracing
fame such as Byron's; but a fame not to be sneered at; which would
last me a considerable time; and would keep my heart from breaking;
… profit; not equal to that which Scott had made by his wondrous
novels; but which would prevent me from starving; and enable me to
achieve some other literary enterprise。 I read and re…read my
ballads; and the more I read them the more I was convinced that the
public; in the event of their being published; would freely
purchase; and hail them with the merited applause。 Were not the
deeds and adventures wonderful and heart…stirring … from which it
is true I could claim no merit; being but the translator; but had I
not rendered them into English; with all their original fire? Yes;
I was confident I had; and I had no doubt that the public would say
so。 And then; with respect to Ab Gwilym; had I not done as much
justice to him as to the Danish ballads; not only rendering
faithfully his thoughts; imagery; and phraseology; but even
preserving in my translation the alliterative euphony which
constitutes one of the most remarkable features of Welsh prosody?
Yes; I had accomplished all this; and I doubted not that the public
would receive my translations from Ab Gwilym with quite as much
eagerness as my version of the Danish ballads。 But I found the
publishers as intractable as ever; and to this day the public has
never had an opportunity of doing justice to the glowing fire of my
ballad versification; and the alliterative euphony of my imitations
of Ab Gwilym。
I had not seen Francis Ardry since the day I had seen him taking
lessons in elocution。 One afternoon as I was seated at my table;
my head resting on my hands; he entered my apartment; sitting down;
he inquired of me why I had not been to see him。
'I might ask the same question of you;' I replied。 'Wherefore have
you not been to see me?' Whereupon Francis Ardry told me that he
had been much engaged in his oratorical exercises; also in
escorting the young Frenchwoman about to places of public
amusement; he then again questioned me as to the reason of my not
having been to see him。
I returned an evasive answer。 The truth was; that for some time
past my appearance; owing to the state of my finances; had been
rather shabby; and I did not wish to expose a fashionable young man
like Francis Ardry; who lived in a fashionable neighbourhood; to
the imputation of having a shabby acquaintance。 I was aware that
Francis Ardry was an excellent fellow; but; on that very account; I
felt; under existing circumstances; a delicacy in visiting him。
It is very possible that he had an inkling of how matters stood; as
he presently began to talk of my affairs and prospects。 I told him
of my late ill success with the booksellers; and inveighed
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