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lavengro-第82部分

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avoid abusing it; any more than others could avoid turning it to a 

profitable account?  I did not see how they could; this poor simple 

woman found a book in her mother's closet; a book; which was a 

capital book for those who could turn it to the account for which 

it was intended; a book; from the perusal of which I felt myself 

wiser and better; but which was by no means suited to the intellect 

of this poor simple woman; who thought that it was written in 

praise of thieving; yet she found it; she read it; and … and … I 

felt myself getting into a maze; what is right; thought I? what is 

wrong?  Do I exist?  Does the world exist? if it does; every action 

is bound up with necessity。



'Necessity!' I exclaimed; and cracked my finger…joints。



'Ah; it is a bad thing;' said the old woman。



'What is a bad thing?' said I。



'Why to be poor; dear。'



'You talk like a fool;' said I; 'riches and poverty are only 

different forms of necessity。'



'You should not call me a fool; dear; you should not call your own 

mother a fool。'



'You are not my mother;' said I。



'Not your mother; dear? … no; no more I am; but your calling me 

fool put me in mind of my dear son; who often used to call me fool 

… and you just now looked as he sometimes did; with a blob of foam 

on your lip。'



'After all; I don't know that you are not my mother。'



'Don't you; dear?  I'm glad of it; I wish you would make it out。'



'How should I make it out? who can speak from his own knowledge as 

to the circumstances of his birth?  Besides; before attempting to 

establish our relationship; it would be necessary to prove that 

such people exist。'



'What people; dear?'



'You and I。'



'Lord; child; you are mad; that book has made you so。'



'Don't abuse it;' said I; 'the book is an excellent one; that is; 

provided it exists。'



'I wish it did not;' said the old woman; 'but it shan't long; I'll 

burn it; or fling it into the river … the voices at night tell me 

to do so。'



'Tell the voices;' said I; 'that they talk nonsense; the book; if 

it exists; is a good book; it contains a deep moral; have you read 

it all?'



'All the funny parts; dear; all about taking things; and the manner 

it was done; as for the rest; I could not exactly make it out。'



'Then the book is not to blame; I repeat that the book is a good 

book; and contains deep morality; always supposing that there is 

such a thing as morality; which is the same thing as supposing that 

there is anything at all。'



'Anything at all!  Why ain't we here on this bridge; in my booth; 

with my stall and my … '



'Apples and pears; baked hot; you would say … I don't know; all is 

a mystery; a deep question。  It is a question; and probably always 

will be; whether there is a world; and consequently apples and 

pears; and; provided there be a world; whether that world be like 

an apple or a pear。'



'Don't talk so; dear。'



'I won't; we will suppose that we all exist … world; ourselves; 

apples; and pears:  so you wish to get rid of the book?'



'Yes; dear; I wish you would take it。'



'I have read it; and have no farther use for it; I do not need 

books:  in a little time; perhaps; I shall not have a place wherein 

to deposit myself; far less books。'



'Then I will fling it into the river。'



'Don't do that; here; give it me。  Now what shall I do with it? you 

were so fond of it。'



'I am so no longer。'



'But how will you pass your time; what will you read?'



'I wish I had never learned to read; or; if I had; that I had only 

read the books I saw at school:  the primer or the other。'



'What was the other?'



'I think they called it the Bible:  all about God; and Job; and 

Jesus。'



'Ah; I know it。'



'You have read it; is it a nice book … all true?'



'True; true … I don't know what to say; but if the world be true; 

and not all a lie; a fiction; I don't see why the Bible; as they 

call it; should not be true。  By the bye; what do you call Bible in 

your tongue; or; indeed; book of any kind? as Bible merely means a 

book。'



'What do I call the Bible in my language; dear?'



'Yes; the language of those who bring you things。'



'The language of those who DID; dear; they bring them now no 

longer。  They call me fool; as you did; dear; just now; they call 

kissing the Bible; which means taking a false oath; smacking calf…

skin。'



'That's metaphor;' said I; 'English; but metaphorical; what an odd 

language!  So you would like to have a Bible; … shall I buy you 

one?'



'I am poor; dear … no money since I left off the other trade。'



'Well; then; I'll buy you one。'



'No; dear; no; you are poor; and may soon want the money; but if 

you can take me one conveniently on the sly; you know … I think you 

may; for; as it is a good book; I suppose there can be no harm in 

taking it。'



'That will never do;' said I; 'more especially as I should be sure 

to be caught; not having made taking of things my trade; but I'll 

tell you what I'll do … try and exchange this book of yours for a 

Bible; who knows for what great things this same book of yours may 

serve?'



'Well; dear;' said the old woman; 'do as you please; I should like 

to see the … what do you call it? … Bible; and to read it; as you 

seem to think it true。'



'Yes;' said I; 'seem; that is the way to express yourself in this 

maze of doubt … I seem to think … these apples and pears seem to be 

… and here seems to be a gentleman who wants to purchase either one 

or the other。'



A person had stopped before the apple…woman's stall; and was 

glancing now at the fruit; now at the old woman and myself; he wore 

a blue mantle; and had a kind of fur cap on his head; he was 

somewhat above the middle stature; his features were keen; but 

rather hard; there was a slight obliquity in his vision。  Selecting 

a small apple; he gave the old woman a penny; then; after looking 

at me scrutinisingly for a moment; he moved from the booth in the 

direction of Southwark。



'Do you know who that man is?' said I to the old woman。



'No;' said she; 'except that he is one of my best customers:  he 

frequently stops; takes an apple; and gives me a penny; his is the 

only piece of money I have taken this blessed day。  I don't know 

him; but he has once or twice sat down in the booth with two 

strange…looking men … Mulattos; or Lascars; I think they call 

them。'







CHAPTER XLV







Bought and exchanged … Quite empty … A new firm … Bibles … 

Countenance of a lion … Clap of thunder … A truce with this … I 

have lost it … Clearly a right … Goddess of the Mint。



IN pursuance of my promise to the old woman; I set about procuring 

her a Bible with all convenient speed; placing the book which she 

had intrusted to me for the purpose of exchange in my pocket。  I 

went to several shops; and asked if Bibles 
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