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lavengro-第76部分
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individual; seemingly a shopkeeper; who stood beside me on the
pavement; looking at the procession。
'The mortal relics of Lord Byron;' said the dapper…looking
individual; mouthing his words and smirking … 'the illustrious
poet; which have been just brought from Greece; and are being
conveyed to the family vault in …shire。'
'An illustrious poet; was he?' said I。
'Beyond all criticism;' said the dapper man; 'all we of the rising
generation are under incalculable obligation to Byron; I myself; in
particular; have reason to say so; in all my correspondence my
style is formed on the Byronic model。'
I looked at the individual for a moment; who smiled and smirked to
himself applause; and then I turned my eyes upon the hearse
proceeding slowly up the almost endless street。 This man; this
Byron; had for many years past been the demigod of England; and his
verses the daily food of those who read; from the peer to the
draper's assistant; all were admirers; or rather worshippers; of
Byron; and all doated on his verses; and then I thought of those
who; with genius as high as his; or higher; had lived and died
neglected。 I thought of Milton abandoned to poverty and blindness;
of witty and ingenious Butler consigned to the tender mercies of
bailiffs; and starving Otway: they had lived neglected and
despised; and; when they died; a few poor mourners only had
followed them to the grave; but this Byron had been made a half god
of when living; and now that he was dead he was followed by
worshipping crowds; and the very sun seemed to come out on purpose
to grace his funeral。 And; indeed; the sun; which for many days
past had hidden its face in clouds; shone out that morn with
wonderful brilliancy; flaming upon the black hearse and its tall
ostrich plumes; the mourning coaches; and the long train of
aristocratic carriages which followed behind。
'Great poet; sir;' said the dapper…looking man; 'great poet; but
unhappy。'
Unhappy? yes; I had heard that he had been unhappy; that he had
roamed about a fevered; distempered man; taking pleasure in nothing
… that I had heard; but was it true? was he really unhappy? was not
this unhappiness assumed; with the view of increasing the interest
which the world took in him? and yet who could say? He might be
unhappy; and with reason。 Was he a real poet after all? might he
not doubt himself? might he not have a lurking consciousness that
he was undeserving of the homage which he was receiving? that it
could not last? that he was rather at the top of fashion than of
fame? He was a lordling; a glittering; gorgeous lordling: and he
might have had a consciousness that he owed much of his celebrity
to being so; he might have felt that he was rather at the top of
fashion than of fame。 Fashion soon changes; thought I; eagerly to
myself … a time will come; and that speedily; when he will be no
longer in the fashion; when this idiotic admirer of his; who is
still grinning at my side; shall have ceased to mould his style on
Byron's; and this aristocracy; squirearchy; and what not; who now
send their empty carriages to pay respect to the fashionable
corpse; shall have transferred their empty worship to some other
animate or inanimate thing。 Well; perhaps after all it was better
to have been mighty Milton in his poverty and blindness … witty and
ingenious Butler consigned to the tender mercies of bailiffs; and
starving Otway; they might enjoy more real pleasure than this
lordling; they must have been aware that the world would one day do
them justice … fame after death is better than the top of fashion
in life。 They have left a fame behind them which shall never die;
whilst this lordling … a time will come when he will be out of
fashion and forgotten。 And yet I don't know; didn't he write
Childe Harold and that ode? Yes; he wrote Childe Harold and that
ode。 Then a time will scarcely come when he will be forgotten。
Lords; squires; and cockneys may pass away; but a time will
scarcely come when Childe Harold and that ode will be forgotten。
He was a poet; after all; and he must have known it; a real poet;
equal to … to … what a destiny! Rank; beauty; fashion;
immortality; … he could not be unhappy; what a difference in the
fate of men … I wish I could think he was unhappy 。 。 。 。
I turned away。
'Great poet; sir;' said the dapper man; turning away too; 'but
unhappy … fate of genius; sir; I; too; am frequently unhappy。'
Hurrying down a street to the right; I encountered Francis Ardry。
'What means the multitude yonder?' he demanded。
'They are looking after the hearse which is carrying the remains of
Byron up Tottenham Road。'
'I have seen the man;' said my friend; as he turned back the way he
had come; 'so I can dispense with seeing the hearse … I saw the
living man at Venice … ah; a great poet。'
'Yes;' said I; 'a great poet; it must be so; everybody says so …
what a destiny! What a difference in the fate of men; but 'tis
said he was unhappy; you have seen him; how did he look?'
'Oh; beautiful!'
'But did he look happy?'
'Why; I can't say he looked very unhappy; I saw him with two 。 。 。
very fair ladies; but what is it to you whether the man was unhappy
or not? Come; where shall we go … to Joey's? His hugest bear … '
'Oh; I have had enough of bears; I have just been worried by one。'
'The publisher?'
'Yes。'
'Then come to Joey's; three dogs are to be launched at his bear:
as they pin him; imagine him to be the publisher。'
'No;' said I; 'I am good for nothing; I think I shall stroll to
London Bridge。'
'That's too far for me … farewell。'
CHAPTER XL
London Bridge … Why not? … Every heart has its bitters … Wicked
boys … Give me my book … Such a fright … Honour bright。
SO I went to London Bridge; and again took my station on the spot
by the booth where I had stood on the former occasion。 The booth;
however; was empty; neither the apple…woman nor her stall was to be
seen。 I looked over the balustrade upon the river; the tide was
now; as before; rolling beneath the arch with frightful
impetuosity。 As I gazed upon the eddies of the whirlpool; I
thought within myself how soon human life would become extinct
there; a plunge; a convulsive flounder; and all would be over。
When I last stood over that abyss I had felt a kind of impulse … a
fascination; I had resisted it … I did not plunge into it。 At
present I felt a kind of impulse to plunge; but the impulse was of
a different kind; it proceeded from a loathing of life; I looked
wistfully at the eddies … what had I to live for? … what; indeed!
I thought of Brandt and Struensee; and Yeoman Patch … should I
yield to the impulse … why not? My eyes were fixed on the eddies。
All of a sudden I shuddered; I thought I saw heads in the pool;
hum
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