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lavengro-第44部分

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uneasy about the lad。'



'You make me uneasy too;' said my mother; 'but I really think you 

are too hard upon the child; he is not a bad child; after all; 

though not; perhaps; all you could wish him; he is always ready to 

read the Bible。  Let us go in; he is in the room above us; at least 

he was two hours ago; I left him there bending over his books; I 

wonder what he has been doing all this time; it is now getting 

late; let us go in; and he shall read to us。'



'I am getting old;' said my father; 'and I love to hear the Bible 

read to me; for my own sight is something dim; yet I do not wish 

the child to read to me this night; I cannot so soon forget what I 

have heard; but I hear my eldest son's voice; he is now entering 

the gate; he shall read the Bible to us this night。  What say you?'







CHAPTER XXI







The eldest son … Saying of wild Finland … The critical time … 

Vaunting polls … One thing wanted … A father's blessing … Miracle 

of art … The Pope's house … Young enthusiast … Pictures of England 

… Persist and wrestle … The little dark man。



THE eldest son!  The regard and affection which my father 

entertained for his first…born were natural enough; and appeared to 

none more so than myself; who cherished the same feelings towards 

him。  What he was as a boy the reader already knows; for the reader 

has seen him as a boy; fain would I describe him at the time of 

which I am now speaking; when he had attained the verge of manhood; 

but the pen fails me; and I attempt not the task; and yet it ought 

to be an easy one; for how frequently does his form visit my mind's 

eye in slumber and in wakefulness; in the light of day and in the 

night watches; but last night I saw him in his beauty and his 

strength; he was about to speak; and my ear was on the stretch; 

when at once I awoke; and there was I alone; and the night storm 

was howling amidst the branches of the pines which surround my 

lonely dwelling:  'Listen to the moaning of the pine; at whose root 

thy hut is fastened;' … a saying that; of wild Finland; in which 

there is wisdom; I listened and thought of life and death。 。 。 。 Of 

all human beings that I have ever known; that elder brother was the 

most frank and generous; ay; and the quickest and readiest; and the 

best adapted to do a great thing needful at the critical time; when 

the delay of a moment would be fatal。  I have known him dash from a 

steep bank into a stream in his full dress; and pull out a man who 

was drowning; yet there were twenty others bathing in the water; 

who might have saved him by putting out a hand; without 

inconvenience to themselves; which; however; they did not do; but 

stared with stupid surprise at the drowning one's struggles。  Yes; 

whilst some shouted from the bank to those in the water to save the 

drowning one; and those in the water did nothing; my brother 

neither shouted nor stood still; but dashed from the bank and did 

the one thing needful; which; under such circumstances; not one man 

in a million would have done。  Now; who can wonder that a brave old 

man should love a son like this; and prefer him to any other?



'My boy; my own boy; you are the very image of myself; the day I 

took off my coat in the park to fight Big Ben;' said my father; on 

meeting his son wet and dripping; immediately after his bold feat。  

And who cannot excuse the honest pride of the old man … the stout 

old man?



Ay; old man; that son was worthy of thee; and thou wast worthy of 

such a son; a noble specimen wast thou of those strong single…

minded Englishmen; who; without making a parade either of religion 

or loyalty; feared God and honoured their king; and were not 

particularly friendly to the French; whose vaunting polls they 

occasionally broke; as at Minden and at Malplaquet; to the 

confusion vast of the eternal foes of the English land。  I; who was 

so little like thee that thou understoodst me not; and in whom with 

justice thou didst feel so little pride; had yet perception enough 

to see all thy worth; and to feel it an honour to be able to call 

myself thy son; and if at some no distant time; when the foreign 

enemy ventures to insult our shore; I be permitted to break some 

vaunting poll; it will be a triumph to me to think that; if thou 

hadst lived; thou wouldst have hailed the deed; and mightest yet 

discover some distant resemblance to thyself; the day when thou 

didst all but vanquish the mighty Brain。



I have already spoken of my brother's taste for painting; and the 

progress he had made in that beautiful art。  It is probable that; 

if circumstances had not eventually diverted his mind from the 

pursuit; he would have attained excellence; and left behind him 

some enduring monument of his powers; for he had an imagination to 

conceive; and that yet rarer endowment; a hand capable of giving 

life; body; and reality to the conceptions of his mind; perhaps he 

wanted one thing; the want of which is but too often fatal to the 

sons of genius; and without which genius is little more than a 

splendid toy in the hands of the possessor … perseverance; dogged 

perseverance; in his proper calling; otherwise; though the grave 

had closed over him; he might still be living in the admiration of 

his fellow…creatures。  O ye gifted ones; follow your calling; for; 

however various your talents may be; ye can have but one calling 

capable of leading ye to eminence and renown; follow resolutely the 

one straight path before you; it is that of your good angel; let 

neither obstacles nor temptations induce ye to leave it; bound 

along if you can; if not; on hands and knees follow it; perish in 

it; if needful; but ye need not fear that; no one ever yet died in 

the true path of his calling before he had attained the pinnacle。  

Turn into other paths; and for a momentary advantage or 

gratification ye have sold your inheritance; your immortality。  Ye 

will never be heard of after death。



'My father has given me a hundred and fifty pounds;' said my 

brother to me one morning; 'and something which is better … his 

blessing。  I am going to leave you。'



'And where are you going?'



'Where? to the great city; to London; to be sure。'



'I should like to go with you。'



'Pooh;' said my brother; 'what should you do there?  But don't be 

discouraged; I daresay a time will come when you too will go to 

London。'



And; sure enough; so it did; and all but too soon。



'And what do you purpose doing there?' I demanded。



'Oh; I go to improve myself in art; to place myself under some 

master of high name; at least I hope to do so eventually。  I have; 

however; a plan in my head; which I should wish first to execute; 

indeed; I do not think I can rest till I have done so; every one 

talks so much about Italy; and the wondrous artists which it has 

produced; and the wondrous pictures which are to be found there; 

now I wish to see Ita
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