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lavengro-第44部分
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uneasy about the lad。'
'You make me uneasy too;' said my mother; 'but I really think you
are too hard upon the child; he is not a bad child; after all;
though not; perhaps; all you could wish him; he is always ready to
read the Bible。 Let us go in; he is in the room above us; at least
he was two hours ago; I left him there bending over his books; I
wonder what he has been doing all this time; it is now getting
late; let us go in; and he shall read to us。'
'I am getting old;' said my father; 'and I love to hear the Bible
read to me; for my own sight is something dim; yet I do not wish
the child to read to me this night; I cannot so soon forget what I
have heard; but I hear my eldest son's voice; he is now entering
the gate; he shall read the Bible to us this night。 What say you?'
CHAPTER XXI
The eldest son … Saying of wild Finland … The critical time …
Vaunting polls … One thing wanted … A father's blessing … Miracle
of art … The Pope's house … Young enthusiast … Pictures of England
… Persist and wrestle … The little dark man。
THE eldest son! The regard and affection which my father
entertained for his first…born were natural enough; and appeared to
none more so than myself; who cherished the same feelings towards
him。 What he was as a boy the reader already knows; for the reader
has seen him as a boy; fain would I describe him at the time of
which I am now speaking; when he had attained the verge of manhood;
but the pen fails me; and I attempt not the task; and yet it ought
to be an easy one; for how frequently does his form visit my mind's
eye in slumber and in wakefulness; in the light of day and in the
night watches; but last night I saw him in his beauty and his
strength; he was about to speak; and my ear was on the stretch;
when at once I awoke; and there was I alone; and the night storm
was howling amidst the branches of the pines which surround my
lonely dwelling: 'Listen to the moaning of the pine; at whose root
thy hut is fastened;' … a saying that; of wild Finland; in which
there is wisdom; I listened and thought of life and death。 。 。 。 Of
all human beings that I have ever known; that elder brother was the
most frank and generous; ay; and the quickest and readiest; and the
best adapted to do a great thing needful at the critical time; when
the delay of a moment would be fatal。 I have known him dash from a
steep bank into a stream in his full dress; and pull out a man who
was drowning; yet there were twenty others bathing in the water;
who might have saved him by putting out a hand; without
inconvenience to themselves; which; however; they did not do; but
stared with stupid surprise at the drowning one's struggles。 Yes;
whilst some shouted from the bank to those in the water to save the
drowning one; and those in the water did nothing; my brother
neither shouted nor stood still; but dashed from the bank and did
the one thing needful; which; under such circumstances; not one man
in a million would have done。 Now; who can wonder that a brave old
man should love a son like this; and prefer him to any other?
'My boy; my own boy; you are the very image of myself; the day I
took off my coat in the park to fight Big Ben;' said my father; on
meeting his son wet and dripping; immediately after his bold feat。
And who cannot excuse the honest pride of the old man … the stout
old man?
Ay; old man; that son was worthy of thee; and thou wast worthy of
such a son; a noble specimen wast thou of those strong single…
minded Englishmen; who; without making a parade either of religion
or loyalty; feared God and honoured their king; and were not
particularly friendly to the French; whose vaunting polls they
occasionally broke; as at Minden and at Malplaquet; to the
confusion vast of the eternal foes of the English land。 I; who was
so little like thee that thou understoodst me not; and in whom with
justice thou didst feel so little pride; had yet perception enough
to see all thy worth; and to feel it an honour to be able to call
myself thy son; and if at some no distant time; when the foreign
enemy ventures to insult our shore; I be permitted to break some
vaunting poll; it will be a triumph to me to think that; if thou
hadst lived; thou wouldst have hailed the deed; and mightest yet
discover some distant resemblance to thyself; the day when thou
didst all but vanquish the mighty Brain。
I have already spoken of my brother's taste for painting; and the
progress he had made in that beautiful art。 It is probable that;
if circumstances had not eventually diverted his mind from the
pursuit; he would have attained excellence; and left behind him
some enduring monument of his powers; for he had an imagination to
conceive; and that yet rarer endowment; a hand capable of giving
life; body; and reality to the conceptions of his mind; perhaps he
wanted one thing; the want of which is but too often fatal to the
sons of genius; and without which genius is little more than a
splendid toy in the hands of the possessor … perseverance; dogged
perseverance; in his proper calling; otherwise; though the grave
had closed over him; he might still be living in the admiration of
his fellow…creatures。 O ye gifted ones; follow your calling; for;
however various your talents may be; ye can have but one calling
capable of leading ye to eminence and renown; follow resolutely the
one straight path before you; it is that of your good angel; let
neither obstacles nor temptations induce ye to leave it; bound
along if you can; if not; on hands and knees follow it; perish in
it; if needful; but ye need not fear that; no one ever yet died in
the true path of his calling before he had attained the pinnacle。
Turn into other paths; and for a momentary advantage or
gratification ye have sold your inheritance; your immortality。 Ye
will never be heard of after death。
'My father has given me a hundred and fifty pounds;' said my
brother to me one morning; 'and something which is better … his
blessing。 I am going to leave you。'
'And where are you going?'
'Where? to the great city; to London; to be sure。'
'I should like to go with you。'
'Pooh;' said my brother; 'what should you do there? But don't be
discouraged; I daresay a time will come when you too will go to
London。'
And; sure enough; so it did; and all but too soon。
'And what do you purpose doing there?' I demanded。
'Oh; I go to improve myself in art; to place myself under some
master of high name; at least I hope to do so eventually。 I have;
however; a plan in my head; which I should wish first to execute;
indeed; I do not think I can rest till I have done so; every one
talks so much about Italy; and the wondrous artists which it has
produced; and the wondrous pictures which are to be found there;
now I wish to see Ita
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