lavengro-第146部分

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iron　perseverance；　without　which　all　the　advantages　of　time　and　

circumstance　are　of　very　little　avail　in　any　undertaking。　　I　was　

determined　to　make　a　horse…shoe；　and　a　good　one；　in　spite　of　every　

obstacle　…　ay；　in　spite　of　dukkerin。　　At　the　end　of　four　days；　

during　which　I　had　fashioned　and　refashioned　the　thing　at　least　

fifty　times；　I　had　made　a　petul　such　as　no　master　of　the　craft　need　

have　been　ashamed　of；　with　the　second　shoe　I　had　less　difficulty；　

and；　by　the　time　I　had　made　the　fourth；　I　would　have　scorned　to　

take　off　my　hat　to　the　best　smith　in　Cheshire。



But　I　had　not　yet　shod　my　little　gry：　　this　I　proceeded　now　to　do。　　

After　having　first　well　pared　the　hoofs　with　my　churi；　I　applied　

each　petul　hot；　glowing　hot；　to　the　pindro。　　Oh；　how　the　hoofs　

hissed！　and；　oh；　the　pleasant　pungent　odour　which　diffused　itself　

through　the　dingle！　…　an　odour　good　for　an　ailing　spirit。



I　shod　the　little　horse　bravely　…　merely　pricked　him　once；　

slightly；　with　a　cafi；　for　doing　which；　I　remember；　he　kicked　me　

down；　I　was　not　disconcerted；　however；　but；　getting　up；　promised　to　

be　more　cautious　in　future；　and　having　finished　the　operation；　I　

filed　the　hoof　well　with　the　rin　baro；　then　dismissed　him　to　graze　

amongst　the　trees；　and；　putting　my　smaller　tools　into　the　muchtar；　

I　sat　down　on　my　stone；　and；　supporting　my　arm　upon　my　knee；　leaned　

my　head　upon　my　hand。　　Heaviness　had　come　over　me。







CHAPTER　LXXXIV







Several　causes　…　Frogs　and　eftes　…　Gloom　and　twilight　…　What　should　

I　do？　…　'Our　Father'　…　Fellow…men　…　What　a　mercy！　…　Almost　calm　…　

Fresh　store　…　History　of　Saul　…　Pitch　dark。



HEAVINESS　had　suddenly　come　over　me；　heaviness　of　heart；　and　of　

body　also。　　I　had　accomplished　the　task　which　I　had　imposed　upon　

myself；　and　now　that　nothing　more　remained　to　do；　my　energies　

suddenly　deserted　me；　and　I　felt　without　strength；　and　without　

hope。　　Several　causes；　perhaps；　co…operated　to　bring　about　the　

state　in　which　I　then　felt　myself。　　It　is　not　improbable　that　my　

energies　had　been　overstrained　during　the　work　the　progress　of　

which　I　have　attempted　to　describe；　and　every　one　is　aware　that　the　

results　of　overstrained　energies　are　feebleness　and　lassitude　…　

want　of　nourishment　might　likewise　have　something　to　do　with　it。　　

During　my　sojourn　in　the　dingle；　my　food　had　been　of　the　simplest　

and　most　unsatisfying　description；　by　no　means　calculated　to　

support　the　exertion　which　the　labour　I　had　been　engaged　upon　

required；　it　had　consisted　of　coarse　oaten　cakes　and　hard　cheese；　

and　for　beverage　I　had　been　indebted　to　a　neighbouring　pit；　in　

which；　in　the　heat　of　the　day；　I　frequently　saw；　not　golden　or　

silver　fish；　but　frogs　and　eftes　swimming　about。　　I　am；　however；　

inclined　to　believe　that　Mrs。　Herne's　cake　had　quite　as　much　to　do　

with　the　matter　as　insufficient　nourishment。　　I　had　never　entirely　

recovered　from　the　effects　of　its　poison；　but　had　occasionally；　

especially　at　night；　been　visited　by　a　grinding　pain　in　the　

stomach；　and　my　whole　body　had　been　suffused　with　cold　sweat；　and　

indeed　these　memorials　of　the　drow　have　never　entirely　disappeared　

…　even　at　the　present　time　they　display　themselves　in　my　system；　

especially　after　much　fatigue　of　body　and　excitement　of　mind。　　So　

there　I　sat　in　the　dingle　upon　my　stone；　nerveless　and　hopeless；　by　

whatever　cause　or　causes　that　state　had　been　produced　…　there　I　sat　

with　my　head　leaning　upon　my　hand；　and　so　I　continued　a　long；　long　

time。　　At　last　I　lifted　my　head　from　my　hand；　and　began　to　cast　

anxious；　unquiet　looks　about　the　dingle　…　the　entire　hollow　was　now　

enveloped　in　deep　shade　…　I　cast　my　eyes　up；　there　was　a　golden　

gleam　on　the　tops　of　the　trees　which　grew　towards　the　upper　parts　

of　the　dingle；　but　lower　down　all　was　gloom　and　twilight　…　yet；　

when　I　first　sat　down　on　my　stone；　the　sun　was　right　above　the　

dingle；　illuminating　all　its　depths　by　the　rays　which　it　cast　

perpendicularly　down　…　so　I　must　have　sat　a　long；　long　time　upon　my　

stone。　　And　now；　once　more；　I　rested　my　head　upon　my　hand；　but　

almost　instantly　lifted　it　again　in　a　kind　of　fear；　and　began　

looking　at　the　objects　before　me　…　the　forge；　the　tools；　the　

branches　of　the　trees；　endeavouring　to　follow　their　rows；　till　they　

were　lost　in　the　darkness　of　the　dingle；　and　now　I　found　my　right　

hand　grasping　convulsively　the　three　fore…fingers　of　the　left；　

first　collectively；　and　then　successively；　wringing　them　till　the　

joints　cracked；　then　I　became　quiet；　but　not　for　long。



Suddenly　I　started　up；　and　could　scarcely　repress　the　shriek　which　

was　rising　to　my　lips。　　Was　it　possible？　　Yes；　all　too　certain；　the　

evil　one　was　upon　me；　the　inscrutable　horror　which　I　had　felt　in　my　

boyhood　had　once　more　taken　possession　of　me。　　I　had　thought　that　

it　had　forsaken　me　…　that　it　would　never　visit　me　again；　that　I　had　

outgrown　it；　that　I　might　almost　bid　defiance　to　it；　and　I　had　even　

begun　to　think　of　it　without　horror；　as　we　are　in　the　habit　of　

doing　of　horrors　of　which　we　conceive　we　run　no　danger；　and　lo！　

when　least　thought　of；　it　had　seized　me　again。　　Every　moment　I　felt　

it　gathering　force；　and　making　me　more　wholly　its　own。　　What　should　

I　do？　…　resist；　of　course；　and　I　did　resist。　　I　grasped；　I　tore；　

and　strove　to　fling　it　from　me；　but　of　what　avail　were　my　efforts？　　

I　could　only　have　got　rid　of　it　by　getting　rid　of　myself：　　it　was　a　

part　of　myself；　or　rather　it　was　all　myself。　　I　rushed　amongst　the　

trees；　and　struck　at　them　with　my　bare　fists；　and　dashed　my　head　

against　them；　but　I　felt　no　pain。　　How　could　I　feel　pain　with　that　

horror　upon　me？　　And　then　I　flung　myself　on　the　ground；　gnawed　the　

earth；　and　swallowed　it；　and　then　I　looked　round；　it　was　almost　

total　darkness　in　the　dingle；　and　the　darkness　added　to　my　horror。　　

I　could　no　longer　stay　there；　up　I　rose　from　the　ground；　and　

attempted　to　escape。　　At　the　bottom　of　the　winding　path　which　led　

up　the　acclivity　I　fell　over　something　which　was　lying　on　the　

ground；　the　something　moved；　and　gave　a　kind　of　whine。　　It　was　my　

little　horse；　which　had　made　that　place　its　lair；　my　little　horse；　

my　only　companion　and　friend　in　that　now　awful　solitude。　　I　reached　

the　mouth　of　the　dingle；　the　sun　was　just　sinking　in　the　far　west　

behind　me；　the　fields　were　flooded　with　his　last　gleams。　　How　

beautiful　everything　looked　in　the　last　gleams　of　the　sun！　　I　felt　

relieved　for　a　moment；　I　was　no　longer　in　the　horrid　dingle。　　In　

another　minute　the　sun　was　gone；　and　a　big　cloud　occupied　the　place　

where　he　had　been：　　in　a　little　time　it　was　almost　as　dark　as　it　

had　previously　been　in　the　open　part　of　the　dingle。　　My　horror　

increased；　what　was　I　to　do？　…　it　was　of　no　use　fighting　against　

the　horror　…　that　I　saw；　the　more　I　fought　against　it；　the　stronger　

it　became。　　What　should　I　do：　　say　my　prayers？　　Ah！　why　not？　　So　I　

knelt　down　under　the　hedge；　and　said；　'Our　Father'；　but　that　was　of