lavengro-第112部分

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to　what　I　myself　have　written。　　I　scarcely　ever　transgress　without　

having　almost　instant　reason　to　repent。　　To…day；　when　I　took　up　the　

newspaper；　I　saw　in　a　speech　of　the　Duke　of　Rhododendron；　at　an　

agricultural　dinner；　the　very　same　ideas；　and　almost　the　same　

expressions　which　I　had　put　into　the　mouth　of　an　imaginary　

personage　of　mine；　on　a　widely　different　occasion；　you　saw　how　I　

dashed　the　newspaper　down　…　you　saw　how　I　touched　the　floor；　the　

touch　was　to　baffle　the　evil　chance；　to　prevent　the　critics　

detecting　any　similarity　between　the　speech　of　the　Duke　of　

Rhododendron　at　the　agricultural　dinner　and　the　speech　of　my　

personage。　　My　sensibility　on　the　subject　of　my　writings　is　so　

great　that　sometimes　a　chance　word　is　sufficient　to　unman　me；　I　

apply　it　to　them　in　a　superstitious　sense；　for　example；　when　you　

said　some　time　ago　that　the　dark　hour　was　coming　on；　I　applied　it　

to　my　works　…　it　appeared　to　bode　them　evil　fortune；　you　saw　how　I　

touched；　it　was　to　baffle　the　evil　chance；　but　I　do　not　confine　

myself　to　touching　when　the　fear　of　the　evil　chance　is　upon　me。　　To　

baffle　it　I　occasionally　perform　actions　which　must　appear　highly　

incomprehensible；　I　have　been　known；　when　riding　in　company　with　

other　people；　to　leave　the　direct　road；　and　make　a　long　circuit　by　

a　miry　lane　to　the　place　to　which　we　were　going。　　I　have　also　been　

seen　attempting　to　ride　across　a　morass；　where　I　had　no　business　

whatever；　and　in　which　my　horse　finally　sank　up　to　its　saddle…

girths；　and　was　only　extricated　by　the　help　of　a　multitude　of　

hands。　　I　have；　of　course；　frequently　been　asked　the　reason　of　such　

conduct；　to　which　I　have　invariably　returned　no　answer；　for　I　scorn　

duplicity；　whereupon　people　have　looked　mysteriously；　and　sometimes　

put　their　fingers　to　their　foreheads。　　〃And　yet　it　can't　be；〃　I　

once　heard　an　old　gentleman　say；　〃don't　we　know　what　he　is　capable　

of？〃　and　the　old　man　was　right；　I　merely　did　these　things　to　avoid　

the　evil　chance；　impelled　by　the　strange　feeling　within　me；　and　

this　evil　chance　is　invariably　connected　with　my　writings；　the　only　

things　at　present　which　render　life　valuable　to　me。　　If　I　touch　

various　objects；　and　ride　into　miry　places；　it　is　to　baffle　any　

mischance　befalling　me　as　an　author；　to　prevent　my　books　getting　

into　disrepute；　in　nine　cases　out　of　ten　to　prevent　any　

expressions；　thoughts；　or　situations　in　any　work　which　I　am　writing　

from　resembling　the　thoughts；　expressions；　and　situations　of　other　

authors；　for　my　great　wish；　as　I　told　you　before；　is　to　be　

original。



'I　have　now　related　my　history；　and　have　revealed　to　you　the　

secrets　of　my　inmost　bosom。　　I　should　certainly　not　have　spoken　so　

unreservedly　as　I　have　done；　had　I　not　discovered　in　you　a　kindred　

spirit。　　I　have　long　wished　for　an　opportunity　of　discoursing　on　

the　point　which　forms　the　peculiar　feature　of　my　history　with　a　

being　who　could　understand　me；　and　truly　it　was　a　lucky　chance　

which　brought　you　to　these　parts；　you　who　seem　to　be　acquainted　

with　all　things　strange　and　singular；　and　who　are　as　well　

acquainted　with　the　subject　of　the　magic　touch　as　with　all　that　

relates　to　the　star　Jupiter　or　the　mysterious　tree　at　Upsal。'



Such　was　the　story　which　my　host　related　to　me　in　the　library；　

amidst　the　darkness；　occasionally　broken　by　flashes　of　lightning。　　

Both　of　us　remained　silent　for　some　time　after　it　was　concluded。



'It　is　a　singular　story；'　said　I；　at　last；　'though　I　confess　that　I　

was　prepared　for　some　part　of　it。　　Will　you　permit　me　to　ask　you　a　

question？'



'Certainly；'　said　my　host。



'Did　you　never　speak　in　public？'　said　I。



'Never。'



'And　when　you　made　this　speech　of　yours　in　the　dining…room；　

commencing　with　Mr。　Speaker；　no　one　was　present？'



'None　in　the　world；　I　double…locked　the　door；　what　do　you　mean？'



'An　idea　came　into　my　head　…　dear　me　how　the　rain　is　pouring　…　but；　

with　respect　to　your　present　troubles　and　anxieties；　would　it　not　

be　wise；　seeing　that　authorship　causes　you　so　much　trouble　and　

anxiety；　to　give　it　up　altogether？'



'Were　you　an　author　yourself；'　replied　my　host；　'you　would　not　talk　

in　this　manner；　once　an　author；　ever　an　author　…　besides；　what　

could　I　do？　return　to　my　former　state　of　vegetation？　no；　much　as　I　

endure；　I　do　not　wish　that；　besides；　every　now　and　then　my　reason　

tells　me　that　these　troubles　and　anxieties　of　mine　are　utterly　

without；　foundation　that　whatever　I　write　is　the　legitimate　growth　

of　my　own　mind；　and　that　it　is　the　height　of　folly　to　afflict　

myself　at　any　chance　resemblance　between　my　own　thoughts　and　those　

of　other　writers；　such　resemblance　being　inevitable　from　the　fact　

of　our　common　human　origin。　　In　short　…　'



'I　understand　you；'　said　I；　'notwithstanding　your　troubles　and　

anxieties　you　find　life　very　tolerable；　has　your　originality　ever　

been　called　in　question？'



'On　the　contrary；　every　one　declares　that　originality　constitutes　

the　most　remarkable　feature　of　my　writings；　the　man　has　some　

faults；　they　say；　but　want　of　originality　is　certainly　not　one　of　

them。　　He　is　quite　different　from　others　…　a　certain　newspaper；　it　

is　true；　the　…　I　think；　once　insinuated　that　in　a　certain　work　of　

mine　I　had　taken　a　hint　or　two　from　the　writings　of　a　couple　of　

authors　which　it　mentioned；　it　happened；　however；　that　I　had　never　

even　read　one　syllable　of　the　writings　of　either；　and　of　one　of　

them　had　never　even　heard　the　name；　so　much　for　the　discrimination　

of　the　…。　　By　the　bye；　what　a　rascally　newspaper　that　is！'



'A　very　rascally　newspaper；'　said　I。







CHAPTER　LXVII







Disturbed　slumbers　…　The　bed…post　…　Two　wizards　…　What　can　I　do？　…　

Real　library　…　The　Rev。　Mr。　Platitude　…　Toleration　to　Dissenters　…　

Paradox　…　Sword　of　St。　Peter　…　Enemy　to　humbug　…　High　principles　…　

False　concord　…　The　damsel　…　What　religion？　…　Further　conversation　

…　That　would　never　do！　…　May　you　prosper。



DURING　the　greater　part　of　that　night　my　slumbers　were　disturbed　by　

strange　dreams。　　Amongst　other　things；　I　fancied　that　I　was　my　

host；　my　head　appeared　to　be　teeming　with　wild　thoughts　and　

imaginations；　out　of　which　I　was　endeavouring　to　frame　a　book。　　And　

now　the　book　was　finished　and　given　to　the　world；　and　the　world　

shouted；　and　all　eyes　were　turned　upon　me；　and　I　shrank　from　the　

eyes　of　the　world。　　And；　when　I　got　into　retired　places；　I　touched　

various　objects　in　order　to　baffle　the　evil　chance。　　In　short；　

during　the　whole　night；　I　was　acting　over　the　story　which　I　had　

heard　before　I　went　to　bed。



At　about　eight　o'clock　I　awoke。　　The　storm　had　long　since　passed　

away；　and　the　morning　was　bright　and　shining；　my　couch　was　so　soft　

and　luxurious　that　I　felt　loth　to　quit　it；　so　I　lay　some　time；　my　

eyes　wandering　about　the　magnificent　room　to　which　fortune　had　

conducted　me　in　so　singular　a　manner；　at　last　I　heaved　a　sigh；　I　

was　thinking　of　my　own　homeless　cond