the research magnificent-第6部分

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ng　a　motor…car；　which　seemed　to　be　crawling　slowly　enough；　though；　no　doubt；　it　was　making　a　respectable　pace；　between　two　hedges　down　below。　　It　is　extraordinary　how　slowly　everything　seems　to　be　going　when　one　sees　it　from　such　an　height。　〃Then　the　left　wing　of　the　monoplane　came　up　like　a　door　that　slams；　some　wires　whistled　past　my　head；　and　one　whipped　off　my　helmet；　and　then；　with　the　seat　slipping　away　from　me；　down　we　went。　　I　snatched　unavailingly　for　the　helmet；　and　then　gripped　the　sides。　　It　was　like　dropping　in　a　boat　suddenly　into　the　trough　of　a　waveand　going　on　dropping。　　We　were　both　strapped；　and　I　got　my　feet　against　the　side　and　clung　to　the　locked　second　wheel。　〃The　sensation　was　as　though　something　like　an　intermittent　electric　current　was　pouring　through　me。　　It's　a　ridiculous　image　to　use；　I　can't　justify　it；　but　it　was　as　if　I　was　having　cold　blue　light　squirted　through　every　pore　of　my　being。　　There　was　an　astonishment；　a　feeling　of　confirmation。　　‘Of　course　these　things　do　happen　sometimes；'　I　told　myself。　　I　don't　remember　that　Challoner　looked　round　or　said　anything　at　all。　　I　am　not　sure　that　I　looked　at　him。　。　。　。　〃There　seemed　to　be　a　long　interval　of　intensely　excited　curiosity；　and　I　remember　thinking；　‘Lord；　but　we　shall　come　a　smash　in　a　minute！'　　Far　ahead　I　saw　the　grey　sheds　of　Eastchurch　and　people　strolling　about　apparently　unaware　of　our　disaster。　　There　was　a　sudden　silence　as　Challoner　stopped　the　engine。　。　。　。　〃But　the　point　I　want　to　insist　upon　is　that　I　did　not　feel　afraid。　I　was　simply　enormously；　terribly　INTERESTED。　。　。　。　〃There　came　a　tremendous　jolt　and　a　lunge；　and　we　were　both　tipped　forward；　so　that　we　were　hanging　forehead　down　by　our　straps；　and　it　looked　as　if　the　sheds　were　in　the　sky；　then　I　saw　nothing　but　sky；　then　came　another　vast　swerve；　and　we　were　falling　sideways；　sideways。　。　。　。　〃I　was　altogether　out　of　breath　and　PHYSICALLY　astonished；　and　I　remember　noting　quite　intelligently　as　we　hit　the　ground　how　the　green　grass　had　an　effect　of　POURING　OUT　in　every　direction　from　below　us。　。　。　。　〃Then　I　remember　a　jerk　and　a　feeling　that　I　was　flying　up　again。　　I　was　astonished　by　a　tremendous　poppingfabric；　wires；　everything　seemed　going　pop；　pop；　pop；　like　a　machine…gun；　and　then　came　a　flash　of　intense　pain　as　my　arm　crumpled　up。　　It　was　quite　impersonal　pain。　　As　impersonal　as　seeing　intense　colour。　SPLINTERS！　　I　remember　the　word　came　into　my　head　instantly。　　I　remember　that　very　definitely。　〃I　thought；　I　suppose；　my　arm　was　in　splinters。　　Or　perhaps　of　the　scraps　and　ends　of　rods　and　wires　flying　about　us。　　It　is　curious　that　while　I　remember　the　word　I　cannot　recall　the　idea。　。　。　。　〃When　I　became　conscious　again　the　chief　thing　present　in　my　mind　was　that　all　those　fellows　round　were　young　soldiers　who　wouldn't　at　all　understand　bad　behaviour。　　My　arm　wasorchestral；　but　still　far　from　being　real　suffering　IN　me。　　Also　I　wanted　to　know　what　Challoner　had　got。　　They　wouldn't　understand　my　questions；　and　then　I　twisted　round　and　saw　from　the　negligent　way　his　feet　came　out　from　under　the　engine　that　he　must　be　dead。　　And　dark　red　stains　with　bright　red　froth　〃Of　course！　〃There　again　the　chief　feeling　was　a　sense　of　oddity。　　I　wasn't　sorry　for　him　any　more　than　I　was　for　myself。　〃It　seemed　to　me　that　it　was　all　right　with　us　both；　remarkable；　vivid；　but　all　right。　。　。　。〃

8

〃But　though　there　is　little　or　no　fear　in　an　aeroplane；　even　when　it　is　smashing　up；　there　is　fear　about　aeroplanes。　　There　is　something　that　says　very　urgently；　‘Don't；'　to　the　man　who　looks　up　into　the　sky。　　It　is　very　interesting　to　note　how　at　a　place　like　Eastchurch　or　Brooklands　the　necessary　discretion　trails　the　old　visceral　feeling　with　it；　and　how　men　will　hang　about；　ready　to　go　up；　resolved　to　go　up；　but　delaying。　　Men　of　indisputable　courage　will　get　into　a　state　between　dread　and　laziness；　and　waste　whole　hours　of　flying　weather　on　any　excuse　or　no　excuse。　　Once　they　are　up　that　inhibition　vanishes。　　The　man　who　was　delaying　and　delaying　half　an　hour　ago　will　now　be　cutting　the　most　venturesome　capers　in　the　air。　Few　men　are　in　a　hurry　to　get　down　again。　　I　mean　that　quite　apart　from　the　hesitation　of　landing；　they　like　being　up　there。〃　Then；　abruptly；　Benham　comes　back　to　his　theory。　〃Fear；　you　see；　is　the　inevitable　janitor；　but　it　is　not　the　ruler　of　experience。　　That　is　what　I　am　driving　at　in　all　this。　　The　bark　of　danger　is　worse　than　its　bite。　　Inside　the　portals　there　may　be　events　and　destruction；　but　terror　stays　defeated　at　the　door。　　It　may　be　that　when　that　old　man　was　killed　by　a　horse　the　child　who　watched　suffered　more　than　he　did。　。　。　。　〃I　am　sure　that　was　so。　。　。　。〃

9

As　White　read　Benham's　notes　and　saw　how　his　argument　drove　on；　he　was　reminded　again　and　again　of　those　schoolboy　days　and　Benham's　hardihood；　and　his　own　instinctive　unreasonable　reluctance　to　follow　those　gallant　intellectual　leads。　　If　fear　is　an　ancient　instinctive　boundary　that　the　modern　life；　the　aristocratic　life；　is　bound　to　ignore　and　transcend；　may　this　not　also　be　the　case　with　pain？　　We　do　a　little　adventure　into　the　〃life　beyond　fear〃；　may　we　not　also　think　of　adventuring　into　the　life　beyond　pain？　　Is　pain　any　saner　a　warning　than　fear？　　May　not　pain　just　as　much　as　fear　keep　us　from　possible　and　splendid　things？　　But　why　ask　a　question　that　is　already　answered　in　principle　in　every　dentist's　chair？　　Benham's　idea；　however；　went　much　further　than　that；　he　was　clearly　suggesting　that　in　pain　itself；　pain　endured　beyond　a　certain　pitch；　there　might　come　pleasure　again；　an　intensity　of　sensation　that　might　have　the　colour　of　delight。　　He　betrayed　a　real　anxiety　to　demonstrate　this　possibility；　he　had　the　earnestness　of　a　man　who　is　sensible　of　dissentient　elements　within。　　He　hated　the　thought　of　pain　even　more　than　he　hated　fear。　　His　arguments　did　not　in　the　least　convince　White；　who　stopped　to　poke　the　fire　and　assure　himself　of　his　own　comfort　in　the　midst　of　his　reading。　Young　people　and　unseasoned　people；　Benham　argued；　are　apt　to　imagine　that　if　fear　is　increased　and　carried　to　an　extreme　pitch　it　becomes　unbearable；　one　will　faint　or　die；　given　a　weak　heart；　a　weak　artery　or　any　such　structural　defect　and　that　may　well　happen；　but　it　is　just　as　possible　that　as　the　stimulation　increases　one　passes　through　a　brief　ecstasy　of　terror　to　a　new　sane　world；　exalted　but　as　sane　as　normal　existence。　　There　is　the　calmness　of　despair。　　Benham　had　made　some　notes　to　enforce　this　view；　of　the　observed　calm　behaviour　of　men　already　hopelessly　lost；　men　on　sinking　ships；　men　going　to　execution；　men　already　maimed　and　awaiting　the　final　stroke；　but　for　the　most　part　these　were　merely　references　to　books　and　periodicals。　　In　exactly　the　same　way；　he　argued；　we　exaggerate　the　range　of　pain　as　if　it　were　limitless。　　We　think　if　we　are　unthinking　that　it　passes　into　agony　and　so　beyond　endurance　to　destruction。　　It　probably　does　nothing　of　the　kind。　Benham　compared　pain　to　the　death　range　of　the　electric　current。　　At　a　certain　voltage　it　thrills；　at　a　greater　it　torments　and　convulses；　at　a　still　greater　it　kills。　　But　at　enormous　voltages；　as　Tesla　was　the　first　to　demonstrate；　it　does