the research magnificent-第59部分

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one　has　resolved　one　is　a　king。　Does　that　sound　foolishness　to　you？　　Anyhow；　it's　fair　that　I　should　tell　you；　though　you　count　me　a　fool。　　Thisthis　kingshipthis　dream　of　the　nightis　my　life。　　It　is　the　very　core　of　me。　　Much　more　than　you　are。　　More　than　anything　else　can　be。　　I　mean　to　be　a　king　in　this　earth。　　KING。　　I'm　not　mad。　。　。　。　　I　see　the　world　staggering　from　misery　to　misery　and　there　is　little　wisdom；　less　rule；　folly；　prejudice；　limitation；　the　good　things　come　by　chance　and　the　evil　things　recover　and　slay　them；　and　it　is　my　world　and　I　am　responsible。　　Every　man　to　whom　this　light　has　come　is　responsible。　　As　soon　as　this　light　comes　to　you；　as　soon　as　your　kingship　is　plain　to　you；　there　is　no　more　rest；　no　peace；　no　delight；　except　in　work；　in　service；　in　utmost　effort。　　As　far　as　I　can　do　it　I　will　rule　my　world。　　I　cannot　abide　in　this　smug　city；　I　cannot　endure　its　self…complacency；　its　routine；　its　gloss　of　success；　its　rottenness。　。　。　。　　I　shall　do　little；　perhaps　I　shall　do　nothing；　but　what　I　can　understand　and　what　I　can　do　I　will　do。　Think　of　that　wild　beautiful　country　we　saw；　and　the　mean　misery；　the　filth　and　the　warring　cruelty　of　the　life　that　lives　there；　tragedy；　tragedy　without　dignity；　and　think；　too；　of　the　limitless　ugliness　here；　and　of　Russia　slipping　from　disorder　to　massacre；　and　China；　that　sea　of　human　beings；　sliding　steadily　to　disaster。　　Do　you　think　these　are　only　things　in　the　newspapers？　　To　me　at　any　rate　they　are　not　things　in　newspapers；　they　are　pain　and　failure；　they　are　torment；　they　are　blood　and　dust　and　misery。　　They　haunt　me　day　and　night。　　Even　if　it　is　utterly　absurd　I　will　still　do　my　utmost。　　It　IS　absurd。　　I'm　a　madman　and　you　and　my　mother　are　sensible　people。　。　。　。　　And　I　will　go　my　way。　。　。　。　　I　don't　care　for　the　absurdity。　　I　don't　care　a　rap。〃　He　stopped　abruptly。　〃There　you　have　it；　Amanda。　　It's　rant；　perhaps。　　Sometimes　I　feel　it's　rant。　　And　yet　it's　the　breath　of　life　to　me。　。　。　。　　There　you　are。　。　。　。　　At　last　I've　been　able　to　break　silence　and　tell　you。　。　。　。〃　He　stopped　with　something　like　a　sob　and　stood　regarding　the　dusky　mystery　of　her　face。　　She　stood　quite　still；　she　was　just　a　beautiful　outline　in　the　twilight；　her　face　was　an　indistinctness　under　the　black　shadow　of　her　hair；　with　eyes　that　were　two　patches　of　darkness。　He　looked　at　his　watch；　lifting　it　close　to　his　face　to　see　the　time。　　His　voice　changed。　　〃Wellif　you　provoke　a　man　enough；　you　see　he　makes　speeches。　　Let　it　be　a　lesson　to　you；　Amanda。　　Here　we　are　talking　instead　of　going　to　our　dinners。　　The　car　has　been　waiting　ten　minutes。〃　Amanda；　so　still；　was　the　most　disconcerting　of　all　Amandas。　。　。　。　A　strange　exaltation　seized　upon　her　very　suddenly。　　In　an　instant　she　had　ceased　to　plot　against　him。　　A　vast　wave　of　emotion　swept　her　forward　to　a　resolution　that　astonished　her。　〃Cheetah！〃　she　said；　and　the　very　quality　of　her　voice　had　changed；　〃give　me　one　thing。　　Stay　until　June　with　me。〃　〃Why？〃　he　asked。　Her　answer　came　in　a　voice　so　low　that　it　was　almost　a　whisper。　〃Becausenowno；　I　don't　want　to　keep　you　any　moreI　am　not　trying　to　hold　you　any　more。　。　。　。　　I　want。　。　。　。〃　She　came　forward　to　him　and　looked　up　closely　at　his　face。　〃Cheetah；〃　she　whispered　almost　inaudibly；　〃CheetahI　didn't　understand。　　But　now。　　I　want　to　bear　your　child。〃　He　was　astonished。　　〃Old　Leopard！〃　he　said。　〃No；〃　she　answered；　putting　her　hands　upon　his　shoulders　and　drawing　very　close　to　him；　〃Queen…if　I　can　beto　your　King。〃　〃You　want　to　bear　me　a　child！〃　he　whispered；　profoundly　moved。

8

The　Hindu　agitators　at　the　cavernous　dinner　under　the　House　of　Commons　came　to　the　conclusion　that　Benham　was　a　dreamer。　　And　over　against　Amanda　at　her　dinner…party　sat　Sir　Sidney　Umber；　one　of　those　men　who　know　that　their　judgments　are　quoted。　〃Who　is　the　beautiful　young　woman　who　is　seeing　visions？〃　he　asked　of　his　neighbour　in　confidential　undertones。　。　。　。　He　tittered。　　〃I　think；　you　know；　she　ought　to　seem　just　SLIGHTLY　aware　that　the　man　to　her　left　is　talking　to　her。　。　。　。〃

9

A　few　days　later　Benham　went　down　to　Cambridge；　where　Prothero　was　now　a　fellow　of　Trinity　and　Brissenden　Trust　Lecturer。　。　。　。　All　through　Benham's　writing　there　was　manifest　a　persuasion　that　in　some　way　Prothero　was　necessary　to　his　mind。　　It　was　as　if　he　looked　to　Prothero　to　keep　him　real。　　He　suspected　even　while　he　obeyed　that　upward　flourish　which　was　his　own　essential　characteristic。　　He　had　a　peculiar　feeling　that　somehow　that　upward　bias　would　betray　him；　that　from　exaltation　he　might　presently　float　off；　into　the　higher；　the　better；　and　so　to　complete　unreality。　　He　fled　from　priggishness　and　the　terror　of　such　sublimity　alike　to　Prothero。　Moreover；　in　relation　to　so　many　things　Prothero　in　a　peculiar　distinctive　manner　SAW。　　He　had　less　self…control　than　Benham；　less　integrity　of　purpose；　less　concentration；　and　things　that　were　before　his　eyes　were　by　the　very　virtue　of　these　defects　invariably　visible　to　him。　　Things　were　able　to　insist　upon　themselves　with　him。　　Benham；　on　the　other　hand；　when　facts　contradicted　his　purpose　too　stoutly；　had　a　way　of　becoming　blind　to　them。　　He　repudiated　inconvenient　facts。　　He　mastered　and　made　his　world；　Prothero　accepted　and　recorded　his。　　Benham　was　a　will　towards　the　universe　where　Prothero　was　a　perception　and　Amanda　a　confusing　responsive　activity。　　And　it　was　because　of　his　realization　of　this　profound　difference　between　them　that　he　was　possessed　by　the　idea　of　taking　Prothero　with　him　about　the　world；　as　a　detachable　kind　of　vision　rather　like　that　eye　the　Graiae　used　to　hand　one　another。　。　。　。　After　the　busy　sunlit　streets　of　Maytime　Cambridge；　Prothero's　rooms　in　Trinity；　their　windows　full　of　Gothic　perspectives　and　light…　soaked　blue　sky；　seemed　cool　and　quiet。　　A　flavour　of　scholarship　pervaded　thema　little　blended　with　the　flavour　of　innumerable　breakfasts　nearly　but　not　completely　forgotten。　　Prothero's　door　had　been　locked　against　the　world；　and　he　had　appeared　after　a　slight　delay　looking　a　little　puffy　and　only　apprehending　who　his　visitor　was　after　a　resentful　stare　for　the　better　part　of　a　second。　　He　might　have　been　asleep；　he　might　have　been　doing　anything　but　the　examination　papers　he　appeared　to　be　doing。　　The　two　men　exchanged　personal　details；　they　had　not　met　since　some　months　before　Benham'　s　marriage；　and　the　visitor's　eye　went　meanwhile　from　his　host　to　the　room　and　back　to　his　host's　face　as　though　they　were　all　aspects　of　the　thing　he　was　after；　the　Prothero　humour；　the　earthly　touch；　the　distinctive　Prothero　flavour。　　Then　his　eye　was　caught　by　a　large　red；　incongruous；　meretricious…looking　volume　upon　the　couch　that　had　an　air　of　having　been　flung　aside；　VENUS　IN　GEM　AND　MARBLE；　its　cover　proclaimed。　。　。　。　His　host　followed　that　glance　and　blushed。　　〃They　send　me　all　sorts　of　inappropriate　stuff　to　review；〃　he　remarked。　And　then　he　was　denouncing　celibacy。　The　transition　wasn't　very　clear　to　Benham。　　His　mind　had　been　preoccupied　by　the　problem　of　how　to　open　his　own　large　project。　Meanwhile　Prothero　got；　as　it　were；　the　conversational　bit　between　his　teeth　and　bolted。　　He　began　to　say　the　most　shocking　things　right　away；　so　that　Benham's　a