友情提示:如果本网页打开太慢或显示不完整,请尝试鼠标右键“刷新”本网页!
恐怖书库 返回本书目录 加入书签 我的书架 我的书签 TXT全本下载 『收藏到我的浏览器』

the research magnificent-第2部分

快捷操作: 按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页 按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页 按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部! 如果本书没有阅读完,想下次继续接着阅读,可使用上方 "收藏到我的浏览器" 功能 和 "加入书签" 功能!


 a life of willing and hammering; he was still convinced there was something; something in the nature of an Open Sesame; perhaps a little more intricate than one had supposed at first; a little more difficult to secure; but still in that nature; which would suddenly roll open for mankind the magic cave of the universe; that precious cave at the heart of all things; in which one must believe。 And then lifelife would be the wonder it so perplexingly just isn't。 。 。 。

2

Benham did not go about the world telling people of this consuming research。  He was not the prophet or preacher of his idea。  It was too living and intricate and uncertain a part of him to speak freely about。  It was his secret self; to expose it casually would have shamed him。  He drew all sorts of reserves about him; he wore his manifest imperfections turned up about him like an overcoat in bitter wind。  He was content to be inexplicable。  His thoughts led him to the conviction that this magnificent research could not be; any more than any other research can be; a solitary enterprise; but he delayed expression; in a mighty writing and stowing away of these papers he found a relief from the unpleasant urgency to confess and explain himself prematurely。  So that White; though he knew Benham with the intimacy of an old schoolfellow who had renewed his friendship; and had shared his last days and been a witness of his death; read the sheets of manuscript often with surprise and with a sense of added elucidation。 And; being also a trained maker of books; White as he read was more and more distressed that an accumulation so interesting should be so entirely unshaped for publication。  〃But this will never make a book;〃 said White with a note of personal grievance。  His hasty promise in their last moments together had bound him; it seemed; to a task he now found impossible。  He would have to work upon it tremendously; and even then he did not see how it could be done。 This collection of papers was not a story; not an essay; not a confession; not a diary。  It wasnothing definable。  It went into no conceivable covers。  It was just; White decided; a proliferation。 A vast proliferation。  It wanted even a title。  There were signs that Benham had intended to call it THE ARISTOCRATIC LIFE; and that he had tried at some other time the title of AN ESSAY ON ARISTOCRACY。  Moreover; it would seem that towards the end he had been disposed to drop the word 〃aristocratic〃 altogether; and adopt some such phrase as THE LARGER LIFE。  Once it was LIFE SET FREE。  He had fallen away more and more from nearly everything that one associates with aristocracyat the end only its ideals of fearlessness and generosity remained。 Of all these titles THE ARISTOCRATIC LIFE seemed at first most like a clue to White。  Benham's erratic movements; his sudden impulses; his angers; his unaccountable patiences; his journeys to strange places; and his lapses into what had seemed to be pure adventurousness; could all be put into system with that。  Before White had turned over three pages of the great fascicle of manuscript that was called Book Two; he had found the word 〃Bushido〃 written with a particularly flourishing capital letter and twice repeated。  〃That was inevitable;〃 said White with the comforting regret one feels for a friend's banalities。  〃And it dates 。 。 。 'unreadable' this was early。 。 。 。〃 〃Modern aristocracy; the new aristocracy;〃 he read presently; 〃has still to be discovered and understood。  This is the necessary next step for mankind。  As far as possible I will discover and understand it; and as far as I know it I will be it。  This is the essential disposition of my mind。  God knows I have appetites and sloths and habits and blindnesses; but so far as it is in my power to release myself I will escape to this。 。 。 。〃

3

White sat far into the night and for several nights turning over papers and rummaging in untidy drawers。  Memories came back to him of his dead friend and pieced themselves together with other memories and joined on to scraps in this writing。  Bold yet convincing guesses began to leap across the gaps。  A story shaped itself。 。 。 。 The story began with the schoolfellow he had known at Minchinghampton School。 Benham had come up from his father's preparatory school at Seagate。 He had been a boy reserved rather than florid in his acts and manners; a boy with a pale face; incorrigible hair and brown eyes that went dark and deep with excitement。  Several times White had seen him excited; and when he was excited Benham was capable of tensely daring things。  On one occasion he had insisted upon walking across a field in which was an aggressive bull。  It had been put there to prevent the boys taking a short cut to the swimming place。 It had bellowed tremendously and finally charged him。  He had dodged it and got away; at the time it had seemed an immense feat to White and the others who were safely up the field。  He had walked to the fence; risking a second charge by his deliberation。  Then he had sat on the fence and declared his intention of always crossing the field so long as the bull remained there。  He had said this with white intensity; he had stopped abruptly in mid…sentence; and then suddenly he had dropped to the ground; clutched the fence; struggled with heaving shoulders; and been sick。 The combination of apparently stout heart and manifestly weak stomach had exercised the Minchinghampton intelligence profoundly。 On one or two other occasions Benham had shown courage of the same rather screwed…up sort。  He showed it not only in physical but in mental things。  A boy named Prothero set a fashion of religious discussion in the school; and Benham; after some self…examination; professed an atheistical republicanism rather in the manner of Shelley。  This brought him into open conflict with Roddles; the History Master。  Roddles had discovered these theological controversies in some mysterious way; and he took upon himself to talk at Benham and Prothero。  He treated them to the common misapplication of that fool who 〃hath said in his heart there is no God。〃  He did not perceive there was any difference between the fool who says a thing in his heart and one who says it in the dormitory。 He revived that delectable anecdote of the Eton boy who professed disbelief and was at once 〃soundly flogged〃 by his head master。 〃Years afterwards that boy came back to thank 〃 〃Gurr;〃 said Prothero softly。  〃STEWard!〃 〃Your turn next; Benham;〃 whispered an orthodox controversialist。 〃Good Lord!  I'd like to see him;〃 said Benham with a forced loudness that could scarcely be ignored。 The subsequent controversy led to an interview with the head。  From it Benham emerged more whitely strung up than ever。  〃He said he would certainly swish me if I deserved it; and I said I would certainly kill him if he did。〃 〃And then?〃 〃He told me to go away and think it over。  Said he would preach about it next Sunday。 。 。 。 Well; a swishing isn't a likely thing anyhow。  But I would。 。 。 。  There isn't a master here I'd stand a thrashing fromnot one。 。 。 。  And because I choose to say what I think! 。 。 。  I'd run amuck。〃 For a week or so the school was exhilarated by a vain and ill… concealed hope that the 
返回目录 上一页 下一页 回到顶部 1 2
快捷操作: 按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页 按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页 按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部!
温馨提示: 温看小说的同时发表评论,说出自己的看法和其它小伙伴们分享也不错哦!发表书评还可以获得积分和经验奖励,认真写原创书评 被采纳为精评可以获得大量金币、积分和经验奖励哦!