the research magnificent-第12部分

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yed　cricket　better　than　any　one　else　on　the　staff。　　He　walked　in　wide　strides；　and　would　sometimes　use　the　tail　of　his　gown　on　the　blackboard。　　Like　so　many　clergymen　and　schoolmasters；　he　had　early　distrusted　his　natural　impulse　in　conversation；　and　had　adopted　the　defensive　precaution　of　a　rather　formal　and　sonorous　speech；　which　habit　had　made　a　part　of　him。　　His　general　effect　was　of　one　who　is　earnestly　keeping　up　things　that　might　otherwise　give　way；　keeping　them　up　by　act　and　voice；　keeping　up　an　atmosphere　of　vigour　and　success　in　a　school　that　was　only　too　manifestly　attenuated；　keeping　up　a　pretentious　economy　of　administration　in　a　school　that　must　not　be　too　manifestly　impoverished；　keeping　up　a　claim　to　be　in　the　scientific　van　and　rather　a　flutterer　of　dovecotswith　its　method　of　manual　training　for　examplekeeping　up　ESPRIT　DE　CORPS　and　the　manliness　of　himself　and　every　one　about　him；　keeping　up　his　affection　for　his　faithful　second　wife　and　his　complete　forgetfulness　of　and　indifference　to　that　spirit　of　distracting　impulse　and　insubordination　away　there　in　London；　who　had　once　been　his　delight　and　insurmountable　difficulty。　〃After　my　visits　to　her；〃　wrote　Benham；　〃he　would　show　by　a　hundred　little　expressions　and　poses　and　acts　how　intensely　he　wasn't　noting　that　anything　of　the　sort　had　occurred。〃　But　one　thing　that　from　the　outset　the　father　seemed　to　have　failed　to　keep　up　thoroughly　was　his　intention　to　mould　and　dominate　his　son。　The　advent　of　his　boy　had　been　a　tremendous　event　in　the　reverend　gentleman's　life。　　It　is　not　improbable　that　his　disposition　to　monopolize　the　pride　of　this　event　contributed　to　the　ultimate　disruption　of　his　family。　　It　left　so　few　initiatives　within　the　home　to　his　wife。　　He　had　been　an　early　victim　to　that　wave　of　philoprogenitive　and　educational　enthusiasm　which　distinguished　the　closing　decade　of　the　nineteenth　century。　　He　was　full　of　plans　in　those　days　for　the　education　of　his　boy；　and　the　thought　of　the　youngster　played　a　large　part　in　the　series　of　complicated　emotional　crises　with　which　he　celebrated　the　departure　of　his　wife；　crises　in　which　a　number　of　old　school　and　college　friends　very　generously　assistedspending　weekends　at　Seagate　for　this　purpose；　and　mingling　tobacco；　impassioned　handclasps　and　suchlike　consolation　with　much　patient　sympathetic　listening　to　his　carefully　balanced　analysis　of　his　feelings。　　He　declared　that　his　son　was　now　his　one　living　purpose　in　life；　and　he　sketched　out　a　scheme　of　moral　and　intellectual　training　that　he　subsequently　embodied　in　five　very　stimulating　and　intimate　articles　for　the　SCHOOL　WORLD；　but　never　put　into　more　than　partial　operation。　〃I　have　read　my　father's　articles　upon　this　subject；〃　wrote　Benham；　〃and　I　am　still　perplexed　to　measure　just　what　I　owe　to　him。　　Did　he　ever　attempt　this　moral　training　he　contemplated　so　freely？　　I　don't　think　he　did。　　I　know　now；　I　knew　then；　that　he　had　something　in　his　mind。　。　。　。　　There　were　one　or　two　special　walks　we　had　together；　he　invited　me　to　accompany　him　with　a　certain　portentousness；　and　we　would　go　out　pregnantly　making　superficial　remarks　about　the　school　cricket　and　return；　discussing　botany；　with　nothing　said。　〃His　heart　failed　him。　〃Once　or　twice；　too；　he　seemed　to　be　reaching　out　at　me　from　the　school　pulpit。　〃I　think　that　my　father　did　manage　to　convey　to　me　his　belief　that　there　were　these　fine　things；　honour；　high　aims；　nobilities。　　If　I　did　not　get　this　belief　from　him　then　I　do　not　know　how　I　got　it。　But　it　was　as　if　he　hinted　at　a　treasure　that　had　got　very　dusty　in　an　attic；　a　treasure　which　he　hadn't　himself　been　able　to　spend。　。　。　。〃　The　father　who　had　intended　to　mould　his　son　ended　by　watching　him　grow；　not　always　with　sympathy　or　understanding。　　He　was　an　overworked　man　assailed　by　many　futile　anxieties。　　One　sees　him　striding　about　the　establishment　with　his　gown　streaming　out　behind　him　urging　on　the　groundsman　or　the　gardener；　or　dignified；　expounding　the　particular　advantages　of　Seagate　to　enquiring　parents；　one　sees　him　unnaturally　cheerful　and　facetious　at　the　midday　dinner　table；　one　imagines　him　keeping　up　high　aspirations　in　a　rather　too　hastily　scribbled　sermon　in　the　school　pulpit；　or　keeping　up　an　enthusiasm　for　beautiful　language　in　a　badly…prepared　lesson　on　Virgil；　or　expressing　unreal　indignation　and　unjustifiably　exalted　sentiments　to　evil　doers；　and　one　realizes　his　disadvantage　against　the　quiet　youngster　whose　retentive　memory　was　storing　up　all　these　impressions　for　an　ultimate　judgment；　and　one　understands；　too；　a　certain　relief　that　mingled　with　his　undeniable　emotion　when　at　last　the　time　came　for　young　Benham；　〃the　one　living　purpose〃　of　his　life；　to　be　off　to　Minchinghampton　and　the　next　step　in　the　mysterious　ascent　of　the　English　educational　system。　Three　times　at　least；　and　with　an　increased　interval；　the　father　wrote　fine　fatherly　letters　that　would　have　stood　the　test　of　publication。　　Then　his　communications　became　comparatively　hurried　and　matter…of…fact。　　His　boy's　return　home　for　the　holidays　was　always　rather　a　stirring　time　for　his　private　feelings；　but　he　became　more　and　more　inexpressive。　　He　would　sometimes　lay　a　hand　on　those　growing　shoulders　and　then　withdraw　it。　　They　felt　braced…up　shoulders；　stiffly　inflexible　orthey　would　wince。　　And　when　one　has　let　the　habit　of　indefinite　feelings　grow　upon　one；　what　is　there　left　to　say？　　If　one　did　say　anything　one　might　be　asked　questions。　。　。　。　One　or　two　of　the　long　vacations　they　spent　abroad　together。　　The　last　of　these　occasions　followed　Benham's　convalescence　at　Montana　and　his　struggle　with　the　Bisse；　the　two　went　to　Zermatt　and　did　several　peaks　and　crossed　the　Theodule；　and　it　was　clear　that　their　joint　expeditions　were　a　strain　upon　both　of　them。　　The　father　thought　the　son　reckless；　unskilful；　and　impatient；　the　son　found　the　father's　insistence　upon　guides；　ropes；　precautions；　the　recognized　way；　the　highest　point　and　back　again　before　you　get　a　chill；　and　talk　about　it　sagely　but　very；　very　modestly　over　pipes；　tiresome。　　He　wanted　to　wander　in　deserts　of　ice　and　see　over　the　mountains；　and　discover　what　it　is　to　be　benighted　on　a　precipice。　And　gradually　he　was　becoming　familiar　with　his　father's　repertory　of　Greek　quotations。　　There　was　no　breach　between　them；　but　each　knew　that　holiday　was　the　last　they　would　ever　spend　together。　。　。　。　The　court　had　given　the　custody　of　young　William　Porphyry　into　his　father's　hands；　but　by　a　generous　concession　it　was　arranged　that　his　mother　should　have　him　to　see　her　for　an　hour　or　so　five　times　a　year。　　The　Nolan　legacy；　however；　coming　upon　the　top　of　this；　introduced　a　peculiar　complication　that　provided　much　work　for　tactful　intermediaries；　and　gave　great　and　increasing　scope　for　painful　delicacies　on　the　part　of　Mr。　Benham　as　the　boy　grew　up。　〃I　see；〃　said　the　father　over　his　study　pipe　and　with　his　glasses　fixed　on　remote　distances　above　the　head　of　the　current　sympathizer；　〃I　see　more　and　more　clearly　that　the　tale　of　my　sacrifices　is　not　yet　at　an　end。　。　。　。　　In　many　respects　he　is　like　her。　。　。　。　　Quick。　Too　quick。　。　。　。　　He　must　choose。　　But　I　know　his　choice。　　Yes；　yes；I'm　not　blind。　　She's　worked　upon　him。　。　。