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the professor at the breakfast table-第67部分

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them; that we should draw our first breath in their arms; as we sigh

away our last upon their faithful breasts!



With white; bare feet; her hair loosely knotted; clad as the

starlight knew her; and the morning when she rose from slumber; save

that she had twisted a scarf round her long dress; she stood still

as a stone before me; holding in one hand a lighted coil of

waxtaper; and in the other a silver goblet。  I held my own lamp

close to her; as if she had been a figure of marble; and she did not

stir。  There was no breach of propriety then; to scare the Poor

Relation with and breed scandal out of。  She had been 〃warned in a

dream;〃 doubtless suggested by her waking knowledge and the sounds

which had reached her exalted sense。  There was nothing more natural

than that she should have risen and girdled her waist; and lighted

her taper; and found the silver goblet with 〃Ex dono pupillorum〃 on

it; from which she had taken her milk and possets through all her

childish years; and so gone blindly out to find her place at the

bedside;a Sister of Charity without the cap and rosary; nay;

unknowing whither her feet were leading her; and with wide blank

eyes seeing nothing but the vision that beckoned her along。 Well;

I must wake her from her slumber or trance。 I called her name; but

she did not heed my voice。



The Devil put it into my head that I would kiss one handsome young

girl before I died; and now was my chance。  She never would know it;

and I should carry the remembrance of it with me into the grave; and

a rose perhaps grow out of my dust; as a brier did out of Lord

Lovers; in memory of that immortal moment!  Would it wake her from

her trance?  and would she see me in the flush of my stolen triumph;

and hate and despise me ever after?  Or should I carry off my trophy

undetected; and always from that time say to myself; when I looked

upon her in the glory of youth and the splendor of beauty; 〃My lips

have touched those roses and made their sweetness mine forever〃?

You think my cheek was flushed; perhaps; and my eyes were glittering

with this midnight flash of opportunity。  On the contrary; I believe

I was pale; very pale; and I know that I trembled。  Ah; it is the

pale passions that are the fiercest;it is the violence of the

chill that gives the measure of the fever!  The fighting…boy of our

school always turned white when he went out to a pitched battle with

the bully of some neighboring village; but we knew what his

bloodless cheeks meant;the blood was all in his stout heart;he

was a slight boy; and there was not enough to redden his face and

fill his heart both at once。



Perhaps it is making a good deal of a slight matter; to tell the

internal conflicts in the heart of a quiet person something more

than juvenile and something less than senile; as to whether he

should be guilty of an impropriety; and; if he were; whether he

would get caught in his indiscretion。  And yet the memory of the

kiss that Margaret of Scotland gave to Alain Chartier has lasted

four hundred years; and put it into the head of many an ill…favored

poet; whether Victoria; or Eugenie; would do as much by him; if she

happened to pass him when he was asleep。  And have we ever forgotten

that the fresh cheek of the young John Milton tingled under the lips

of some high…born Italian beauty; who; I believe; did not think to

leave her card by the side of the slumbering youth; but has

bequeathed the memory of her pretty deed to all coming time?  The

sound of a kiss is not so loud as that of a cannon; but its echo

lasts a deal longer。



There is one disadvantage which the man of philosophical habits of

mind suffers; as compared with the man of action。  While he is

taking an enlarged and rational view of the matter before him; he

lets his chance slip through his fingers。  Iris woke up; of her own

accord; before I had made up my mind what I was going to do about

it。



When I remember how charmingly she looked; I don't blame myself at

all for being tempted; but if I had been fool enough to yield to the

impulse; I should certainly have been ashamed to tell of it。  She

did not know what to make of it; finding herself there alone; in

such guise; and me staring at her。  She looked down at her white

robe and bare feet; and colored;then at the goblet she held in her

hand; then at the taper; and at last her thoughts seemed to clear

up。



I know it all;she said。 He is going to die; and I must go and

sit by him。  Nobody will care for him as I shall; and I have nobody

else to care for。



I assured her that nothing was needed for him that night but rest;

and persuaded her that the excitement of her presence could only do

harm。  Let him sleep; and he would very probably awake better in the

morning。  There was nothing to be said; for I spoke with authority;

and the young girl glided away with noiseless step and sought her

own chamber。



The tremor passed away from my limbs; and the blood began to burn in

my cheeks。  The beautiful image which had so bewitched me faded

gradually from my imagination; and I returned to the still

perplexing mysteries of my little neighbor's chamber。



All was still there now。  No plaintive sounds; no monotonous

murmurs; no shutting of windows and doors at strange hours; as if

something or somebody were coming in or going out; or there was

something to be hidden in those dark mahogany presses。  Is there an

inner apartment that I have not seen?  The way in which the house is

built might admit of it。  As I thought it over; I at once imagined a

Bluebeard's chamber。  Suppose; for instance; that the narrow

bookshelves to the right are really only a masked door; such as we

remember leading to the private study of one of our most

distinguished townsmen; who loved to steal away from his stately

library to that little silent cell。  If this were lighted from

above; a person or persons might pass their days there without

attracting attention from the household; and wander where they

pleased at night;to Copp's…Hill burial…ground; if they liked;I

said to myself; laughing; and pulling the bed…clothes over my head。

There is no logic in superstitious…fancies any more than in dreams。

A she…ghost wouldn't want an inner chamber to herself。  A live

woman; with a valuable soprano voice; wouldn't start off at night to

sprain her ankles over the old graves of the North…End cemetery。



It is all very easy for you; middle…aged reader; sitting over this

page in the broad daylight; to call me by all manner of asinine and

anserine unchristian names; because I had these fancies running

through my head。  I don't care much for your abuse。  The question is

not; what it is reasonable for a man to think about; but what he

actually does think about; in the dark; and when be is alone; and

his whole body seems but one great nerve of hearing; and he sees the

phosphorescent flashes of his own eyeballs as they turn suddenly in

the direction of the last
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