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the professor at the breakfast table-第46部分

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in its partial; fragmentary symbols。  It lies deeper than Love;

though very probably Love is a part of it。  Some; I think;

Wordsworth might be one of them;spell out a portion of it from

certain beautiful natural objects; landscapes; flowers; and others。

I can mention several poems of his that have shadowy hints which

seem to me to come near the region where I think it lies。  I have

known two persons who pursued it with the passion of the old

alchemists;all wrong evidently; but infatuated; and never giving

up the daily search for it until they got tremulous and feeble; and

their dreams changed to visions of things that ran and crawled about

their floor and ceilings; and so they died。  The vulgar called them

drunkards。



I told you that I would let you know the mystery of the effect this

young girl's face produces on me。  It is akin to those influences a

friend of mine has described; you may remember; as coming from

certain voices。  I cannot translate it into words;only into

feelings; and these I have attempted to shadow by showing that her

face hinted that revelation of something we are close to knowing;

which all imaginative persons are looking for either in this world

or on the very threshold of the next。



You shake your head at the vagueness and fanciful

incomprehensibleness of my description of the expression in a young

girl's face。  You forget what a miserable surface…matter this

language is in which we try to reproduce our interior state of

being。  Articulation is a shallow trick。  From the light Poh! which

we toss off from our lips as we fling a nameless scribbler's

impertinence into our waste…baskets; to the gravest utterances which

comes from our throats in our moments of deepest need; is only a

space of some three or four inches。  Words; which are a set of

clickings; hissings; lispings; and so on; mean very little; compared

to tones and expression of the features。  I give it up; I thought I

could shadow forth in some feeble way; by their aid; the effect this

young girl's face produces on my imagination; but it is of no use。

No doubt your head aches; trying to make something of my

description。  If there is here and there one that can make anything

intelligible out of my talk about the Great Secret; and who has

spelt out a syllable or two of it on some woman's face; dead or

living; that is all I can expect。  One should see the person with

whom he converses about such matters。  There are dreamy…eyed people

to whom I should say all these things with a certainty of being

understood;



          That moment that his face I see;

          I know the man that must hear me

          To him my tale I teach。



I am afraid some of them have not got a spare quarter of a dollar

for this August number; so that they will never see it。



Let us start again; just as if we had not made this ambitious

attempt; which may go for nothing; and you can have your money

refunded; if you will make the change。



This young girl; about whom I have talked so unintelligibly; is the

unconscious centre of attraction to the whole solar system of our

breakfast…table。  The Little Gentleman leans towards her; and she

again seems to be swayed as by some invisible gentle force towards

him。  That slight inclination of two persons with a strong affinity

towards each other; throwing them a little out of plumb when they

sit side by side; is a physical fact I have often noticed。  Then

there is a tendency in all the men's eyes to converge on her; and I

do firmly believe; that; if all their chairs were examined; they

would be found a little obliquely placed; so as to favor the

direction in which their occupants love to look。



That bland; quiet old gentleman; of whom I have spoken as sitting

opposite to me; is no exception to the rule。  She brought down some

mignonette one morning; which she had grown in her chamber。  She

gave a sprig to her little neighbor; and one to the landlady; and

sent another by the hand of Bridget to this old gentleman。



Sarvant; Ma'am I Much obleeged;he said; and put it gallantly in

his button…hole。 After breakfast he must see some of her drawings。

Very fine performances;very fine! truly elegant productions;

truly elegant! Had seen Miss Linwood's needlework in London; in

the year (eighteen hundred and little or nothing; I think he said;)…

patronized by the nobility and gentry; and Her Majesty;elegant;

truly elegant productions; very fine performances; these drawings

reminded him of them;wonderful resemblance to Nature; an

extraordinary art; painting; Mr。 Copley made some very fine pictures

that he remembered seeing when he was a boy。  Used to remember some

lines about a portrait Written by Mr。 Cowper; beginning;



          Oh that those lips had language! Life has pass'd

          With me but roughly since I heard thee last。〃



And with this the old gentleman fell to thinking about a dead mother

of his that he remembered ever so much younger than he now was; and

looking; not as his mother; but as his daughter should look。  The

dead young mother was looking at the old man; her child; as she used

to look at him so many; many years ago。  He stood still as if in a

waking dream; his eyes fixed on the drawings till their outlines

grew indistinct and they ran into each other; and a pale; sweet face

shaped itself out of the glimmering light through which he saw them。

What is there quite so profoundly human as an old man's memory of

a mother who died in his earlier years?  Mother she remains till

manhood; and by…and…by she grows to be as a sister; and at last;

when; wrinkled and bowed and broken; he looks back upon her in her

fair youth; he sees in the sweet image he caresses; not his parent;

but; as it were; his child。



If I had not seen all this in the old gentleman's face; the words

with which he broke his silence would have betrayed his train of

thought。



If they had only taken pictures then as they do now!he said。

All gone! all gone! nothing but her face as she leaned on the arms

of her great chair; and I would give a hundred pound for the poorest

little picture of her; such as you can buy for a shilling of anybody

that you don't want to see。 The old gentleman put his hand to his

forehead so as to shade his eyes。  I saw he was looking at the dim

photograph of memory; and turned from him to Iris。



How many drawing…books have you filled;I said;since you began to

take lessons? This was the first;she answered;since she was

here; and it was not full; but there were many separate sheets of

large size she had covered with drawings。



I turned over the leaves of the book before us。  Academic studies;

principally of the human figure。  Heads of sibyls; prophets; and so

forth。  Limbs from statues。  Hands and feet from Nature。  What a

superb drawing of an arm!  I don't remember it among the figures

from Michel Angelo; which seem to have been her patterns mainly。

》From Nature; I think; or after a 
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